When I'm with you
I feel so alone
I wonder the unknown
I find traces of you
To keep me company
Autonomy is a blessing
In a person like me
I can't feel the pain
Of not being with you
Anymore

© Maria Francine

Do you remember me?
                         Is it me you see
when your eyes glaze over?
                                      I don't think
                              you will
                                           ever
                                                 find
                                                      me.

© Maria Francine

Alone but not apart,
A single beating for two different hearts.
If I find a way to you,
I will feel the way I used to.*

© Maria Francine

I gave you all the love I had to give you
And you broke me into a thousand pieces

Don't take the last of what I am
I gave you eight years
Please don't take another day
I don't want to know what you came to be without me
I'll remember you the way you were
I can only miss the old you

I will forgive you if you leave me alone.
They say it is easier to love than hate
But there is too much hurt to turn back time.
We are shadows passing through the night
No one will care
If we don't overlap.

© Maria Francine

I need to open the window
To hear the sounds of the night,
Anything but the thoughts in my head.
The last thing I want on my mind is you,
But you're always there
In that place between awake and asleep
And there is nothing I can do to stop it.*

© Maria Francine

I lost the person you used to be
I look for you everywhere
But I'm wandering in circles
And chasing shadows

The echoes of the love we used to share
are slowly fading
But I still listen out for them
I still remember them
Were we always doomed to be so temporary?

It used to feel like I was always supposed to be with you
But now there is a voice in my head
Screaming for me to leave
Because now all I feel is hate for myself
When you are around

Your hardships are always my fault
But nothing can console you
I know you are happier when I am not there
So why can't you let me be happy without you?
You tease me of what we used to have
Promising we will go back
But sometimes I realise that will never happen
At least loneliness would be consistent.

© Maria Francine

I wish I could feel the magic in the air the way I used to
Music inspired dreams
Hopes and desires
I miss the way opportunities felt endless
Tangible and thick on the space around me
Everything around me was new and inspiring
Now I feel the closing of adolescent dreams
And infinite love
I'm all grown up now
But being a kid is all I've ever known
I miss nothing else mattering apart from you and me

© Maria Francine

I miss you and I wish I could tell you
               But I am here
                       You are there
    There is no way to speak
And show you I care
            So I write you these words
       In the hope you will still be there
                  When I come back to                
show them to you.


© Maria Francine

I'm waiting here all alone.
I thought I’d always be a part of you,
Without you I feel so fragile.
If only you’d set me free,
I would fly far far away,
To a better life than the one I have now.
I’m on a low
And you don’t seem to want to know.
Vacant stares, closed doors, empty promises,
I’m struggling to remember what we used to have.
All I know is it was good enough for me to build my life around you.
So maybe I will disappear in the night,
I don’t think you will notice.

© Maria Francine

Let me lose myself in you
My previous desires flew away
without warning
When I truly got to meet you
Unravel your soul to me
Isn't mine plain to see?
Tangle your thoughts with my dreams
Love is an immovable force
And beauty can be a path to hurt
But your words can still find their way to my heart

Love is the answer
To keep away the darkness
I feel it resonate inside me
It soaks into my spine
and every fluttering part of me
If I try to push away
Only cloudy thoughts and memories await
I'd have to leave a part of me behind
I don't even know the person I was before

Your force keeps me on track
And protects me from the hurt
Your heart reminds me of the time I used to feel safe
And defines my every move

© Maria Francine

I look at her there
Looking so sure and so confident
A life I feel I have led before
A very long time ago.
"Are you sure she isn't me?"
"No," reality said.
It’s funny how I feel her thoughts
Racing through me at once
And feel that light on her skin.
I'm struck with what might have been.
I'm sure she is what I was when I was there in that place
When I was born in that year
And I wore that face,
Left to find my bearings in her direction...
I will remember her, just in case.

© Maria Francine

You're the only one I trust
The others pretend they care
But no love is as selfless as ours
I remember birds chirping, twilight skies and the breeze from my bedroom window
And the way you kissed me
These thoughts keep me safe
In the chaos of this world which I don't understand

© Maria Francine

It might feel safe
And predictable here
But out there is exciting
And there is no place I would rather be.
I could writher and grow old here
Clasping onto those I fear will run away
Or I could live life for myself
In the hope they will still be there when I return.
What choice should I make?

© Maria Francine

If my life were a series of conflicts
Banging doors, disappointment, expectation and insecurities
Would you suspect that I would live this life?
Each day I wrap myself up
And pretend to be something I am not
Because I am still dependant on them
Only to return to my room
And once more surround myself in my dark thoughts
And plan my ways to escape.

© Maria Francine

This aimless loneliness inside my head
        Threatens to swallow me
                           Filling me with dread
But you gave me your world
       Hurled me into your innermost thoughts
                                   And I don't feel
                                                      Quite so
                                                           Lonely
                                                               Anymore.

© Maria Francine