I cried out to God for answers
While waiting for his reply
I forgot to do some living
'Ere I fell down to die.

Beheld I no great majesty
In wonders he had wrought
But pitied self for circumstance
That time and life had brought

Forbid that I would ever look
Beyond my meager station
And witness those at deeper lows
and show appreciation.

Hence, the twilight of my life
Has come, and shadow's fallen.
At last, across the great divide
I hear His voice is callin'.

Our answers come in all due time
And so little time is given,
So while you wait you might as well
Go do a little living.

She left the battle, ****** & covered in smiles.
Victory knew no limits.

I smile when I see your words,
I hear your voice in every syllable.
Spoken so softy I have to lean in closer.
We've never had much silence, the conversation always full.

What will it be like?
To hear your words in person,
To see the words leaving your lips
Like they were uttered in cursive.

If I stand too close,
Will you stay?
Or will I see you blush,
And nervously shy away?

You're a gentleman.
You take things slow, I understand.
But I wouldn't mind if while we are walking,
You would silently take my hand.

You make me nervous too
But I wouldn't pull away.
I know I might not show it,
But I really wish you'd stay.

I wonder if you think of me,
As I often do.
I often wonder if you smile quietly to yourself
Like me, when my thoughts quietly drift to you.

So even if we only have three weeks,
And though we haven't officially met,
And we're both just pixilated people with no commitment.
I miss you yet.

I am back to being.
I am back to being human.
I am back to being happy.
I am back to be
Me.

Crouched by the car, I curse at the sky,
Soaked to the bone while people turn a blind eye.

I blink.

I see myself with no mirror.
Yet it couldn't be clearer.

I blink.

This she,
These we.
They all look like me.

I blink.

All wearing the same high-tops with a wrinkled T.
The same me.

I blink.

They have died since.
Oxygen deprived arteries left behind like blueprints.

I blink.

They now resemble twisted mannequins,
Eyes lifted eternally to heaven, atoning for their sins.
Expressions all poising questions.

I blink.

I see myself, miles down my current route in a deadly collision.
Body at an unnatural angle--no seatbelt, bad decision.

I blink.

Myself at a party, sippin' on some whiskey.
A quick plop in my drink ensures I can't get away quickly.

I blink.

The high tops I wear are worn, much like myself from abuse.
Empty apologies don't make up for the blood on my shoes.
Just another victims name on the evening news.

I blink.

I was the person who held signs saying "free hugs."
Now an addict, I'm throwing up on someone else's scrubs.

I blink.

Is this my future?
Dead, abused, a user?

I blink.

A man appears, an umbrella in hand.
"Would you like some help?" He asks, helping me stand.
Where he came from I can't understand...

I blink.

"They call me Heavenly Father.
And I take care of my own--Especially my own daughter."

I blink.

"I've seen too much--What do I do?
I'll always die with a sense of déjavu."

A smile.

"I'll always be here.
Perfect love casts out all fear."

He's gone.

I realize I don't have to die from abuse or a needle in my vein.
I don't need to choose pain.
A laugh bubbles out of me as I realize, I just met God in the rain.

Today she crawled inside a book.
All it took was just one look.
The authors demons silenced the ones she has yet to put down on paper.

5 A steeping beauty.
7 The absence of absorption
5 Holds surface tension.
7 She, engrossed in quiet thought,
8 Brews a turbulent sea in depth.