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I always thought that when you left me you broke my heart. I felt it break the second you walked out of my life and it broke again every time I heard your name and it broke all over every time I heard our song and it broke again every time a guy wearing the same cologne as you walked by me. I felt it break every time I saw you at school and had to hold my head up high like I didn't miss and didn't know you.

But here I am... almost two years later. My heart doesn't break anymore when I hear your name, or when I hear our song, or when I get flashbacks or have dreams of you. Because yes, almost two years have passed by and I still dream of you. But it doesn't break my heart anymore.

And I know why now.

At first I thought it was because I was over it. I thought it was because I had finally moved on and healed from all the damage you did to me. But it's not even that...

I have tried to date other people and I have tried to start over with someone else. I've tried to open up to him and I've tried to be good to him. He's a good guy and he treats me right and cares about me, but I just can't give him my heart... and today I realized why that is.

It's not because I'm scared to give my heart away, but because I don't have a heart at all anymore. It's because when you left me you took my heart with you and now I'm stone cold. I don't feel anything anymore for anyone.

In a way, I thank you... Because I never want to hurt that way ever again... And without a heart I won't hurt at all...
The best memory I have of us is from April of 2014. We had just celebrated our 6 month anniversary a few days before and my birthday was less than a week away. I was extremely happy we had been together so long and so excited to be spending my birthday with you. Everything was perfect, and we were so happy. Our hands were locked within eachothers as we walked to our usual spot after school where we then waited for my mom to pick us up. You threw your backpack against the wall as I gently placed mine next to yours. I was so focused on my phone and was scrolling through my Facebook feed. That's when you came up from behind me and wrapped your arms around my waist. You began to attack my cheeks with your kisses. While I was laughing you leaned in for a kiss. My heart melted like butter inside. I put my phone away and put my arms around your neck as I looked into your eyes. Then we layed down and you held me in your arms. You were so slsepy and even though your eyes were closed and you couldn't see me, I couldn't close my eyes because they were set on you. I was studying every feature on your face. Your chin dimple that you hated, I had found so adorable. Your rosy lips I looked forward to kissing every single day. Your messy hair that I loved to run my fingers through. Your soft skin that you always loved to moisturize with lotion. You were this beautiful creation of God that I was blessed to call mine. I couldn't spot a single flaw and every detail of your face I remember so ******* well. It was that moment that I realized how much you meant to me. You were my whole world. In your arms, the way we were, it felt so right. That was how I wanted to sleep every single night with you in our future once we got married. I was so convinced back then, at age 14, that we were going to get married and start a family. Afterall, you were all I needed. Then suddenly you opened your eyes and saw me smiling at you. You began laughing. You said, "what are you looking at?" Holding back my tears of happiness I replied, "my other half. The person I want to spend the rest of my life with." Then we both looked into each others eyes and I gently placed my hand on your cheek as I continued to admire your face. Looking at you that very moment I felt so many different things, all at once. I felt complete in every single way, my heart was beyond satisfied whenever I was with you. Looking at you at that very moment I realized how much I was willing to sacrifice so I could just be with you. While I was still in the middle of my thoughts, you kissed me. "I love you so ******* much baby girl and I'm never letting go," you said to me. You pulled my body close to yours and began to cuddle me. "Babe...", I said. "Yes princess?" It took me a while to think of how I wanted to say what I was thinking, so then I just came out and said what was on my mind. "Do you promise me you'll never leave me?" You looked at me with that beautiful face of yours and said, "I couldn't ever leave you, even if I wanted to. You're everything I've always wanted and I love you more than you'll ever know."

And that was the most beautiful lie you ever said to me.
 Feb 2015 Leo-chan
Lana Landers
Not only did I love her but I could tell the Universe loved her, too. More than the others. After all, I'd be a fool not to notice the way the sunshine played with her hair.
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