Walking away from the guy I was in love with was probably the hardest thing I've ever done in my seventeen years of life, but I knew it had to be done.
He was ruining me. Over time I slowly began to lose myself, and the longer I stayed with him, the more pieces of myself I lost in the mist of chaos. I was too blind at the time to see that being with him meant extreme sacrifice. It meant being lead me astray from the path I was on to a very different change of course, a course that was not going to lead me to the person I was meant to become. It meant saying goodbye the future I had planned all my life and worked for since I was a little girl. As doors started closing on me I began to see the future I envisioned for myself crumble before my eyes. I realized he was going down a much different path than what I was originally on, and he was dragging me along for the ride.
He was altering the way I saw myself. "What have I become?" I constantly asked myself. I lost all self-understanding and the more I loved him the less I loved myself. I always put him before myself, showing him that I came last. Being committed and doing my best to be the best girlfriend I could be apparently wasn't enough because he still went looking elsewhere. Cheating on me left and right, sleeping around with random girls, and settling for being the one he came back to when he was done ******* around.
He was draining my soul
Now I stand here. Looking in the mirror. I've died on the inside but I am alive. Recovering will take time and it won't be an easy road ahead, but by leaving I gave myself a head start to healing and moving on. I am strong. I'm so proud of myself for leaving him to be honest. I never thought I would and I'm sure he never thought I would either. But I had to. I ******* had to do it for myself.