I can't breathe anymore,
It feels like I'm in a cage.
I can't deal with it, it's too much, no more!
I can feel all my sorrow and my rage.
I feel like my soul is being torn limb from limb,
I feel my heart being torn inside out.
My once ever so strong spirit has suddenly run thin,
I can feel all the emotions and everything inside start to pour out.
Why must I ruin everything I touch?
Why must I ruin everything for everyone?
Why must I love so much?
Why must I ruin all the fun?
My head is splitting upon the wall of my own solitude,
My body seems almost lifeless with no energy or life.
I feel naked and ****,
Their words cut into me sharply like a knife.
Everything is falling,
I can't go on.
They hear me calling,
But they just continue to move on.
I just wanted everyone to be happy,
I just wanted to be loved.
But here I am, unhappy,
Simply pushed away and shoved.
I feel my heart lose it's warmth,
Tears run coldly down my face.
Here I lie on my bed, suffering in my own storm,
Feeling like a disgrace.
Where is my love?
Where is my strength?
I can no longer hear the angels above,
Even darkness holds me at arms length.
I'm alone,
I feel so cold.
My heart has been kicked around like a stone,
The pieces of my life is the only thing I hold.
No one can hear me scream,
No one will help me.
This isn't a dream,
This is my ultimate reality.
My double edged sword,
My very own love,
Have pierced me without a word,
And left me to rot.

Honey I tried,
Honey I cried.
Honey this is a vicious cycle,
Honey this is a disastrous cyclone.
Honey we aren't getting better,
Honey this sweet relationship is getting bitter.
Honey the only one that stands between us is you,
Honey I'm tired of my heart getting beaten black and blue.
Honey you can't see your own faults,
Honey you haven't seen all of my insults.
Honey you know better than to fight me,
Honey you know you can leave.
Honey stop crying and trying to make yourself innocent,
Honey you know I'm not falling for it.
Honey you think you have me won over,
Honey I'm not a stupid pushover.
Honey we know that this is because I'm crazy and you like pushing buttons,
Honey this relationship is nothing.
Honey I tried to make it something,
Honey I tried to give you everything.
But honey the only way I can is if you get out of the way,
Stop pushing me away.
Honey I tried to make it work,
Honey I tried to make it last forever.
But you fought everything I did to change it for the better,
Because of that, I'm done and you lost me forever.

my mind is constantly going
going and going and going
worried about the day head
and still trapped in yesterday
i'm always dreaming about the future
but hardly do I sleep
even though i walk this earth in a visibly awoken state
subconsciously unknowingly
my sanity is weak
trust a higher power is what they say
but even that we cannot see or touch
who's to say god is real anyway?

walk with me

let me show what it is i speak
because to explain in spoken word is something not of my expertise
so i will paint you a picture in poetry
place yourself in cloth sneakers
standing in the middle of the rain
arms open wide head tilted back
and when the lightening strikes
you'll feel a wave of pain
you see the storm will let up, and you'll see a slight break in the clouds
but you'll never fully see the sun
that's what my life is like now

and in all this going and going and going
i must rest my weary head
while nightmares make the best of bad weather
planting the damnest of seed as slight as a feather

fear
worry
fright
anger
sadness
happiness
delight
sickne­ss
wellness
day
night
grief
loathing
pity
spite
jealousy
hatefuln­ess
weakness
fight
acceptance
willingness
wrong
right

if there's anything you haven't felt
at some moment you will feel
for the mind is a tricky being that may fascinate you into your very own doom
because in your waking life
you won't know what is and isn't real

walk with me

i think about life
i think about death
i think about time i've wasted
i think about time i have left
i think about my future
i think about my past
i think about my happiness
i think how long it may last
i think about god
i think about faith
i think about my love
i think how long will he stay
i think about who i am
i think of who i am to be
i think of my imprisonment
i think of being free
i think of my thoughts
i think of my fears
i think of leaving this place
i think as if i'm still here

who's to say i've succumb to my mind
i am well aware that what i search for
may be something i'll never find

peace

does it truly exist?
or is it a place in our imagination?
a place of harmonic endeavors
a place where our souls may finally
seek self proclamation
a place we may finally rest our hearts
in full adoration and acclamation

what's that you say?
peace?

walk with me

"I love you"
" A constant commitment 
                   or 
       an instant obligation?"