Dear The One,
I haven't received a text from you in a while now.
How've you been?
I've been good.
Your memories don't knock on my door often.
They just breeze in from time to time.
My heart doesn't break at the call of your name.
I'm fine,
This time I mean it.
But,
It always seems like there are words lost in between us,
Waiting to be unleashed,
To be written into letters.
See, there's always that voice within me begging to ask how you're doing,
And it's not out of loneliness,
Even though loneliness knocks at my doors every night, demanding to keep me company.
Regardless of the void you've previously left,
I still care for you.
Love,
Isn't something easy to dispose of.
I still carry so much of it within the cracks of my chest,
I just stopped showcasing it to every passerby, asking if they know how to mend me.
I don't know what the aim of this letter is but,
I know it's to remind you that I am still present.
I'm still here, wandering through lonely streets, staring at bright stars and night skies, wondering when and where I'm going to gain some sense of stability and form of happiness.
I just hope you received that when you walked all over my broken pieces, unaware that it was going to take too long to put all you've wrecked together again.

Write back to me,
Even if it's just a few words about how life makes sense,
Without my presence.

Yours truly,
Angel

a lover of the moon
craves some kisses from the stars
wishes the warmth of sunbeams
i was build upon your constellations
hoping one day
i could be a part
of your galaxy

Have you ever been forced into a situation where all you feel is,
a rope slowly latching onto your throat and strangling you,
Allowing all the air to escape your lungs?
Have you ever wanted to run away?
Not figuratively speaking,
Literally.
Running away and leaving everything you've ever known.
Leaving all the comfort you've placed yourself in;
A box filled with flowers that fill the air with jasmine and lilac.
Running away from every person that has ever caused you pain,
That has ever caused a scar on your body or mind
Have you ever wanted life to steal your breath away and leave you for dead?
Because I have.
I've never wanted anything more than to just leave.
I want to leave my mind and my body,
I want to escape all that I know because everything feels ten times harder and I feel a hundred times weaker.
The bones in my body can't hold me up straight, the joints won't handle the effort.
I am so done allowing hope to pull me from the black hole that feeds off me.
I am done.  
Life can **** the blood out of me.
I quit.

I've written far too many endings to have any decent beginnings.
The flowers I've planted died,
The petals falling onto the soil, slowly decaying.
Why is it that life resembles death,
Whenever my fingers skim the edges?
There's this need to create and contain,
To possess and obsess,
To protect,
And yet still,
The hurt remains, gaping
Eating me alive.
Biting and nibbling at those that I love.
Life, never expects you to live with a smile plastered onto your face.
It never guarantees you an easy access.
There are no manuals on, 'how to live a good life',
Just a sign posted at the start line saying,
Try.
You try to live a good life,
Through the heartaches,
Through the happiness.
You try and try, no matter how many times you fall onto your knees, resulting in bruises or broken bones,
You stand up and make way for the experiences to shift and transform you into who you're meant to be.
No matter how many endings I've written,
The beginnings seem far worse,
Because maybe,
Just maybe,
It's the first step into leading and living a good life,
And I so desperately,
Do NOT want to butcher that,
Leaving reminants of blood smothered on the floor I call,
My
Life

Dear Chaos,
Hi.
I don't know how to start this because I'm sure this is going downhill from here,
But how are you?
I'm...coping.
There's this whirlwind going inside of my mind and All my insides are compelled on coming up,
Any minute now.
I'd ask if you'd lend me a hand but I know that whatever you touch, you're pledged to burn.
Sometimes I feel like that;
Anything my fingers come across,
The contents become ash
A figment of my imagination,
No longer present.
How is it that you're so used to the damage you create?
No matter how many times I ruin something,
This ache within me grows.
There's a hole in the center of my chest.
I think the void will swell and someday,
I'll disappear.
Chaos,
Why does it always seem like loneliness hangs onto me?
This weight that presses into my lungs makes it hard to breathe.
I lie there in my half filled bath tub and think about how it would be to drift through space.
There's this immense silence that I wish my mind would contain but I'm guessing it's used to the endless talks and gibbering of nonesense.
Chaos,
There's so much hurt...
Why can't you leave me alone?
Why can't something else clutch onto me and love me
Why does it have to be you?
Am I supposed to appreciate that I get loved by you, even though I slowly lose myself in this maze you've created inside my head?
Chaos...write me back.
Help me understand.
Yours truly,
Angel.