It never took much vocabulary
To get my emotions across
But between the two realities
Lies a chasm I cannot cross

I felt the pull of yearning love
But lacked the push to break free
Until with no courage to speak of
I leapt, eyes shut, just to see

Was it more painful to stand vulnerable
But at least feel the light
Was it so miserable
To have an empathetic ear for my plights

Were those inner demons
Really only mine?

Too long has a heart ached this painfully
For a foolish possibility that was swept away in time
For somebody that made you impossibly giddy
Invincibly happy
And blooming in full emotions
It's time to finally wake up
And tie a bow of closure
On an old treasured memory box

That swelling in your chest
When there appears nothing left
Can drown out the doubt, pain, and fear

The blinders you've got on
When wrong pile on wrongs
Help lead you to the finish line

So make sure it's anchored
In rock, sturdy and secure
Never letting you drift astray

Can you imagine the day
Not too far away
Where you can finally say
Everything you'd held back

And hug the air out of them
Love is the anthem
Daisies clinging to our hems
Free from any attacks

Tears are then only happy
Green stretching vastly
Refreshing breeze blows past me
Knowing true freedom at last

If you ever peeked in my mind
You'd watch me float clutched tightly to a notepad---or whatever the media
With colorful fish sometimes dodging between my feet
I'd feel them tickle and laugh, kicking bubbles in response, which scare the timid ones away---
the curious ones stay
It feels fantastic and light being suspended in water
Just bobbing along playfully to crests drifting by
And floating atop a hidden mystery
I never forget that any moment I could slip under, a wave too big, a tempest too sudden
But at night I'm just watching the reflection of the stars dancing in the ripples of a still calm
I trust this ever changing ocean isn't trying to swallow me up,
But is gently pushing me towards my destination, wave by wave

Oh the familiarity
Can we say deja vu
Should be a veteran now
But no matter what it's been through

The heart wants what it wants
Clichéd yet true
Goodbyes and highs
It's hard not getting stuck in the blues

For moments no one can take
Special rendezvous
Tattooed our stars with the scars
Stitched into memories we never lose

I can only offer a battered heart
That took a lesson or two
To have what it takes to weather
The ups and downs with you

Is it heart-racing or that dazzling sunset show?

Is it blushing or the sparkler casting its glow?

Is it summer's end that's got me wanting to know?

Is it a faint grin that has me ready to go?

Black, black, flows the ink from my pen

Dark dark are the demons that hound me

No where to turn except a snowy sanctuary

Promising to conceal my burden


Lifting letters off a sheet

And maybe to another heart

That can give this one a new start

Waiting for a fresh beat

Trying to remember the
World doesn't owe me

Done searching through songs for words
Sick of do re mi's

So why's it hard tuning out
All the misery

Hate admitting pride is the
Reason I'm lonely

Scared of hurting and ending
Up down on my knees

Begging for a seventh chance
Life isn't easy

At least I have this poem
To keep company

While I puzzle pieces out
Of my history...

The lightening is gone---
Missing the adrenaline;
Left burnt to the core.

I fall a little too hard, in love
I want a bit too desperately, to win
I procrastinate too long, on games
I stay up too often, typin'
I wake up too late, savouring dreams
Is it my brain, making too much dopamine?
Or whatever neurotransmitter
Making me so bitter
That I reaaally need a dose of self control

Sweet dreams, I entreat
To come now swiftly to me
For tonight, adieu~

My only regret
Was holding on to pride and...
Letting go of you