I tried to tell myself I wasn't sad today.

I've never really been good at lying though.

It's the same from day to day, and every hour spent awake,
just another hour away from anything that makes me happy.

You tried to catch my every tear, only to realize the depth of my sorrow.

That the crystal beads falling  from my eyes probably never would end.

Never could end.

Sure we tried to play pretend.

To put band aids on the scars, but the blood gushed straight through.

Wounds raw.

Infected by a broken world.

Where dreams die long before the people who conceive them, and greed runs rampant because wealth is considered an achievement.

Words like "Hope"
Words like "Happiness"

They were taught to me years ago.

Now they're just the false, ****** up, lies I tell myself to get to sleep at night.

When we first met, you asked me what I saw the future holding.

I really didn't have an answer, so I just told you "longer sighs"

I guess I didn't lie, cause the clouds confine my mind making reasons to smile hard to find.

Ask that same question today, and I'd tell you my new answer, "The same thing as yesterday"

Days crumbling faster, still the countless shades of hopeless linger in my eyes. Like notes written on a napkin from a diner where the doors never lock. A napkin soon to be ravaged by hands and stuffed into a pocket. The end result, shreds and pieces.
Reminiscent of the current state of my still beating heart.
                      Questioning every thought, every dream. Life falling
apart as the zipper travels down the seam. Skies become gray, and everything is grim. Love lost to the girl who stole my whole world. Now I fill the void with cigarettes left half smoked. Trying to find a way, to mend a heart left fully broke.