It's the war that  keeps me alive,

a mercy to let me die.

Love is like seasons
You are winter and I am the fall
©Sahirbhat

Sometimes with my head on your chest 
Two beats in tune 
Scared of myself, my emotions
My wishes, my desires
I kept holding on to her hand
Don't know if its dumb luck or faith
But one day, well meet at Heaven's gate.

Our bond formed by fate can never be broken because with each rising sun you enter my dawdling mind and my heart begins to quaver like the birds of freedom
Too soon, the sunlight glitters
As the dawn turns to gray to gold
Her 'i love you' came leisurely
Like the monsoon pouring down on a cracked roof
There are fondness songs in her eyes singing lullabies
When she hover pin me down with her stare
There are love poems on the tip of her tongue
I taste while kissing her
There are good vibes that surpassed all tribes in giving off the positivity i need for my stubborn reality
For her meaningful silence
That gave me better comprehensions
I would dauntlessly lay out to her
That the way i feel for her
They say drowning is bad, but how about
Drowning in love?
I want to swim in the deepest parts of her soul
Above all powers off i float
Higher than all earthly treasure
To a kingdom without measure
Above all myths made stone
Vast than every regal throne
Wild night's that last through dawn
Rocking and rolling out in my lawn
She wraps one around in the cadence of her voice, like old songs one had forgotten about
I' am feeling the rhythm and melody of her sway
Divine ecstasy in pleasures
I am feeling so sublime.

Earthly green to feverish red
autumn
i’ve missed your cold warmth
brown, to red, to a faded auburn
you’re my autumn leaf
i still admire you from a safe distance
These strange autumnal rains
make old wounds feel new with pain
The nights are long and dark
Mornings far away
Voices pitched and stark
The skies are low and grey
I write you when you fall
no chill like autumn's air
to brace my  soul.
©Sahirbhat

I hope it was easy for you to rip me apart
I hope it was easy for you to watch me bleed
I want to go back to that moment
I felt you ease into sleep
She has her own star
Down on the boulevard
Now alcohol and drugs help numb his pain 
Seasons passed us by
I grew, and so did you
And you screamed at me
one-thousand times
you were a lost cause
Exhausted by the end of the day
Telling yourself "you're good enough" but not believing it.

Blood-stained sheets of paper littered the floor, like
the mind of a depressed author.
Don't think I belong here anymore. There's this empty
hole in my chest where I loved you once before.

Bump, bump
in my skull.

Like my brain had an earthquake 
I hear darkness calling my name
Head exploding
waves of pain 
crash against my skull 
life seems too fast like a deadly racer
Dear Headache,

I see you're back again

Today you will see a sight very rare
I'm afraid to write about you because 
Ink makes me feel everything
To her I must be invisible
A burden, mostly miserable
The kiss I had been waiting for so long was
The kiss that was mine
You're my source of happiness
I don't know if you know, but
I carry you in the crown of memories 
So rest your heavy head,
On my comforting sleeve,
And make me bleed in love.

My only love after ages
I will run my fingers over your every scar and ask where each one came from
Our bond formed by fate can never be broken because with each rising sun you enter my dawdling mind and my heart begins to quaver like the birds of freedom
Too soon, the sunlight glitters
As the dawn turns to gray to gold
Her 'i love you' came leisurely
Like the monsoon pouring down on a cracked roof
There are fondness songs in her eyes singing lullabies
When she hover pin me down with her stare
There are love poems on the tip of her tongue
I taste while kissing her
There are good vibes that surpassed all tribes in giving off the positivity i need for my stubborn reality
For her meaningful silence
That gave me better comprehensions
I would dauntlessly lay out to her
That the way i feel for her
They say drowning is bad, but how about
Drowning in love?
I want to swim in the deepest parts of her soul
Above all powers off i float
Higher than all earthly treasure
To a kingdom without measure
Above all myths made stone
Vast than every regal throne
Wild night's that last through dawn
Rocking and rolling out in my lawn
She wraps one around in the cadence of her voice, like old songs one had forgotten about
I' am feeling the rhythm and melody of her sway
Divine ecstasy in pleasures
I am feeling so sublime.
I promise to spend the rest of my life by your side, to laugh with you, cry with you, to believe in you and support you. Together we are better than we could ever hope to be alone.
You literally mean the world to me and I love you beyond belief. You make me so happy every day. I can’t believe that we’ve come so far and it makes me feel so grateful having you by my side all the time. I miss you when you’re not with me and appreciate everything that you do for me. All the memories we’ve made so far have been so fun and i hope there are many more to come.
Your love taught me. 
How love changes the map of time, 
It taught me that when I love… 
The earth stops spinning.
Loving you is not only my passion,
But it has also become my sole creed,
Yes it is my unfailing duty, darling
Loving you is like finally be safe and warm
After a snow storm

What made you feel the need to take my kind heart,
and break it in two
******* I'm lying you ain't worth to do so

With rough thrusts, moans and mustered ******* heat; 
Please sing out loud, deeply within my heart
***** you're a fabulist
It must be nice to be as cold as ice and live with a heart of stone
You think not more but for yourself
And pretend that you adore me
Through manipulation
I regret that
I made you feel like
a queen dripping in gold
Wasted my heart
was wasted on you
wasted and beaten
and black and blue.

When you stepped in my door,
I realised I was Paradise
in my heart and soul
I will be honest like every time or at least most of the time
I do not even know where to start or begin
I rather to say I do not know where this journey ended
In the  graveyard of warm heaven’s
I am still wounded by your talks
On my knees scarred because of battles only god knows
I might not write as much as I did during the war
Life has been getting busier and busier
I'm letting go like I always told you I would
The problem is the pain, that I can't bear to keep
Clear skies no longer brighten my day,
In my eyes there is only ever rain
An indifferent ache swirls in the silence
As I try to conceal the pain and hide it deep within
Till death, I will keep, not returned by tomorrow.

I feel like I'm dead inside
I've just pretended that I'm alive
Looking around for the pieces, i lost
Somewhere far, or further
But still,  you have no idea what this did to me
choking, gagging myself
these acid words consuming me whole
Those sleepless nights
and endless frights
my tattered body parts
My eyes shredded blood
My heart pumped pain,
I feel paralysed
My lips are all dried up now
My anything was only because
You existed
I'm dead inside, these things are only a whisper of my soul

Change your wantings and make your intentions strong
You may not be aware of your body how it works
You go to sleep or You die
Keep wanting those connections
Observe those wounders around you
You will taste the artistry moving through
Buy a single seed you can get the whole jungle?
In those forests you will taste the divine wind?
Your pure lostness needs help that's the secret call
Stay strong
Respond to every call that excites your soul
There are love dog's
Be one of them
For sure he will heal your wounded heart
Like all medicine wants is pain to cure
Dont plug your ears with the cotton of consolations
Listen to the soul music
And let the wine of loving flow into you

I sit alone
In this dark cold room
As if my soul have been locked in the house of my body
Then my heart turned to stone-
and my soul turned to ice
I've been thinking too much of you
Your name starts a quake in my being
Soulless through the eyes but not in your heart
We once broke each other apart.
1:55 A.M

I want back what I have lost.
I want to feel, your skin creating a friction with mine
I hope you have the strength to start over
I know it's hard to touch the clouds when memories hold you down
Freedom can not live on, with slavery in practices
I know it is hard to wake up sometimes when breathing cuts so deep
Hope,  A dangerous thing I might think
More valuable than love.

6:56

She was broken
It's where she lies, broken inside
You can take all of my innocence
My ***** was just another heart of me that you broke too.

And finally 
Here Arrives
Our Beloved
Ramadan
And our hearts are soft from patience
I pray that we find the right doors to open, and that we remain among the faithful believers .

I am in a haze today it's cloudy and beautiful outside I just want to be me now but how do i become me if there is no you?
When ink joins with a pen, then the blank paper can say something
You broke my heart and left it burnt
Ashe's falling instead of rain from the grey sky
Remember that my heart was once an open door I let you in and you loved me from my skin unto the core
You were with me through happiness and worse,
through peace and battle
You where my faithful companion in this life's hustle
As i write it down my pen bleeds as it's ink seeps
In the garden of love i feel like a ****
You used to trumpet my mind away
He still water the seeds of sorrow with his tears and feed them with the manure of old memories
He bares his soul for us to feel .
ésahirbhat

Forget her name, you must forget
Remembering every sensory experience
Forget the feelings she made you feel
Forget her warm embrace
Forget the way she said  I love you
forget about what we had
I went through the trouble
Of killing myself to forget you.

In my small world,
within my tiny heart,
A portion controlled by family,
I got you
who rules it wholly.

Bright Eyes
I know you stare at me while I sleep
I wake in the night
to discover you're gone,
But the truth is you live
in my dreams before dawn
I wish I could sleep peacefully like a housecat,
snuggled into a reclining chair,
without a care in the world
I know that probably you hate me
I know all this but still my rotting heart has me saying this
I've been thinking about you,missing you,
I've been writing to you but they are all drafted
All the madness I have in me
You tamed it graciously
How can I forget
The passion of love
You melted us and made us apart.

No Love
I ain't yours and you ain't mine
My heart feels cold what is a soul for the darkness inside of me
Its really hard for Me to forget 
My life is already filled with regret
I think I am a mistake
My existence consists of nothing more than sorrow and remorse
It was awful. I can see how much time I wasted and how much fun I let go for you
you tried to take from me
a heart I never had
my heart is held prisoner
By the ribs that cage it

Don't go to sleep

Pray for your inner strength and you will see wonders inside you
You will see light in night and star's in day
I know you may get distracted in day
But night is for love
Try to be a night thief and a lover

The Prophet Muhammad "s. a. w"
Said that a true seeker must be completely empty like a lute to make sweet music of lord, lord

Don't go to sleep

You may feel the warmth of the beloved all around you
Let your heart lead you to your beloved
Your every pull draws me to you
Let your love splash in my chest
I know the death will take me soon
But i want to spend my whole life in the love room
Bow to the one
Who brings impossiblities to pass

Don't go to sleep

Work in a perfect harmony
I know I'm raw
Read th rest of this poem in dark tonight.

The End of the Beginning 5/26/2018

And so it ended
The beginning of the chapter already
torn apart like it was a false start
I'm not alone, my friend,
Some evening leaves love dancing in the wind
I love to die when it's too early
The colors may just fade away,
When does a rainbow turn bland
Let me put it in words for you
I wished for the wrong thing
I thought you'd always keep a piece of my heart
But I've let you go completely
That hurts too
Soon my bones  will absorb my words
In need of being loved; in need of a hug
In need of somebody; somebody to love
You can tell me anything
I am no longer listening
someday we will be on the same page with the
right endings.

I was lost and I looked for you

I loved you once and twice
And yet your eyes stay darker than a silent, moonless night
your presence consisted of nothing but words
You were my heaven on earth.

A young girl, so innocent, so new,
Cheerful and happy in any place,
Sat alone in the horror zone , beneath the argent glow of the moon
Everything we were
Memories we created
Sitting in blissful happiness
She created another side of her for him
Your beauty Is not in the clothes you wear
I see your beauty in your eyes,
That ****** mole, 
Tell's true story which is reflected in your soul.

So many curious faces I see
Sometimes I'm high and sometimes low, how often I don't know
My thoughts will more loop and hoop than a circus
Loved by few understood by none
You'd probably hate me,
Me and my curses,
***** please I'm not waiting for Karma .

Patience is a virtue, she said with a smug smile
Her word's triggered a bitter memory

Out of everyone of you who broke my ****** heart there was one where i broke your's first
Still keeping your memory in the closet
Writing this is like smoking a cigarette
My toxic word's slowly **** me
There was a time
When we met for the last time, leaving my mark on your unkissed lips
And joining every line on your hands with my own
A feeling inside me
For i know by nature's law
The living does not belong with the dead........ We were young
And prone to basic love,
And yet it felt so real ......... I believed even the moon would seem dim in comparison to our light, And now I'm addictive and pleasing, Pralaysed i lay!!!
.
.
I THOUGHT I LOVED YOU .
.
.
For a time,  i thought you belong to me only me
You were the light in my eye's,  and the superpower behind my word's
You neglected those feelings my "BELOVED"
Like hundred hand's aiming me with guns!!! That painful thought stabbed too deep

Year's have passed
Now I' build comfortable bed's for my romantic ghosts
It's meaningless now
Recalling the time... .
.
.
I THOUGHT I LOVED YOU.
.
.
©sahirbhat .

I'm drifting 
through my dreams
My body is as light as a feather
I mainlined your love
And became hooked on the spot
No matter how many steps i take forward,
I am still living in the past
I couldn't stop the pain,
it overwhelms me
my face  is covered in smoke
rolling off my tongue
swirling in my lungs
im so far from reality
Cigarette carry every word
I was never able to say
I pretend I'm being washed.

I'm Lost
In something that I
Lost