You asked me not to be angry
but understood why I was hurt
and in my dreams, I'm driven crazy
trying to escape your words

I see your face and hear your sweet voice
I see you more than I would like to
and I try to justify what wasn't my choice
and in the morning I miss myself more than I miss you

I'm so tired of thinking of someone who won't return
she won't come back, she won't share in this emotion
it's beyond the fact that she won't be here in person
but I miss her spirit her essence her beautiful being
oh god why am I here again
why do I feel again
why must I torment myself with the fictional fact
that throws me back to the fire
of desire and loss
of love and hurt
I made I promise I cannot break
and I promise I won't break
but you asked me not to hate
and without your love
where do I lay?

I'm so tired of you
the way you linger in the breeze
the way you live in my memories
the way you voice floats through my mind
making chills roll down my spine

just leave me alone
you have already said your goodbyes
why do you stay in my life
just biding time until I lose my mind
this isn't alright anymore

I'm trying to wrap my heart around the reason that you left
but the more I try to think for you the worse the answers get
Maybe the lies that were uncovered were meant for me instead
of those, I thought were the reason you mumbled under your breath

all I ask is for a conclusion to years of dedication
but now you're gone and I'm left here holding on to degradation
a simple code yet quite unclear leads to infatuation
and I miss your family but I don't think I could ever face them

the thought of you with someone else after all that we had planned
hurts my heart and hurts my head but won't change where you stand
you're so far away and I can hear the chasm that splits our hands
to forever separate our hearts to never connect again

I love that you love me
let me hold your hand
we fit like a glove see

But don't watch me cry alone in my room

You hold me together
like a ball on a string
you'll always be my tether

but don't watch me fall into my shadow

what are you upset about
I have a bad feeling
my heart hurts when you shout

and now we don't talk about our problems

you're gone most of the time
I can still touch you
but your hand doesn't fit in mine

I have run out of tears and just stare

we sit with both hearts heavy
I think we both know
I think we are both finally ready

except we both know we may never be whole

now we don't talk at all anymore
and I still think about you
my heart is still bruised and sore

but I think I can now see why you were upset

There are always rings left
after the cool drink sweats
leaving his mark to be seen
a blemish, a scar, an unlovely ring
that my mom would always get mad about

but being a child
my mind ran wild
and time after time I would forget
and sit
my glass on the bare wood

and time after time
I would run and hide
hearing remembering what I did

I live in fear
every time I hear
your voice growing in anger

don't yell at me.

I'm here sitting
alone,
the smell of coffee runs through
my veins,
some music i probably will forget
in a few years arguing with
the thought of you,

But I'm here,
I'm here,
writing about what's happening

pretty boring huh?

i call myself a poet
but i can't use high metaphors,

i call myself a poet
but i can't describe fully
how you make me feel

i call myself a poet

but what am i?

I'm just a kid
scared of life
finding new ways to cope
searching for someone to love,
desperate,
not holding unto my dreams
how can i choose with my mind
what's right for the heart to choose.

and you see?
don't you see?

don't worry i can't either

i can't see how great i am
i can't see how other people see me
i wish i could.

i want to believe this was a dream
or
a nightmare at that.

But at last.
I'm here wishing that in another life
i could be with you,
or
maybe in other deaths,

i crave your touch,
i crave you..
with coffee waking up my senses
like a kid in summer waking up early
to go play with his friends.

i wish things were different,
so i wouldn't have to wish.

Maybe your jokes aren't that funny..
But I laugh anyway..
So now you think you have got the way to my heart...
Maybe I modify the thoughts in my head..
When I tell you what I like..
So now you think you can certainly make me happy...
Maybe I dont miss you that much...
When I tell you my feelings resonate with that melody..
But now you think I think of you most of the time...