I feel as if I’ve died
All these emotions
Destroying me from inside
Keeping things bottled up
I’m bound to erupt
I walk the ledge
Dipping my fingers in and out of reality  
Trying to find pieces of myself  
Trying to keep balance
Trying to find beauty
In my ashes

I thought he was you
Was this just a game?
Could I not keep up?
I feel lost
Left behind
Misunderstood
I feel like unwanted goods
Spoiled and rotten
I tried to rewrite
The canvas my body
The medium sharp like a knife
I didn’t mean to add scars
I just wanted to write my own story
I wanted to feel at home
In this tortured body

We became one
Promised to always show up
To always give 100%
We’d both been burned before
But my mind wasn’t clear
I didn’t stick to the script
I didn’t remember all our secrets
The chaos
The madness
The pain
We both shared  
Endured together
I didn’t know I was blind
I didn’t see the signs
I never do
I lost touch
I forgot about myself
I put you first
Wanting to help you grow
The fragments began to swirl  
The tornado came
My reality cycled
I disappeared
I didn’t show up
I never called
I didn’t think loving you
And you loving me
Could ever be real
Maybe it was just my imagination
Wanting to force something
Wanting to feel

I have all these thoughts in my head
Swirling, twirling around
Telling me I’m better off dead
With every last word I left unsaid
My toxic actions  
Tightened lips
Communication paralysis
My pins became knifes
I didn’t take notes
I didn’t show up
I lost touch
I wanted to share it all
But I’m learning  
You can’t, I can’t
I can’t share everything
Something’s are better left unsaid
Kept safe in my head
For I fear now, if I say them aloud
They’ll be the last words I say
They’d be the reason
Knowing the truth  
We’d both lose grip
We’d both float away
We’d both disappear
I don’t know if it’d be together
But I keep that thought near

Your soul is pure
The brightest I have ever touched
Only using your powers for good
Your balance, grace and kindness
I had never known nor understood
I saw myself in you
My twin flame
Wanting to repair the pain of our past
To see you grow
Wanting to make it last
I wanted us to thrive
To see you truly be alive
I don’t need to call you mine
You were right
You have it all figured out
It’s just a matter of time
My thoughts of you will always end with:
I just want to see you shine

I had images of fire
Visions of light
Feelings full of darkness
Thoughts bubbling at night
Lost in between
Slipping through the cracks  
I tried to intervene
But the chaos was too loud
You couldn’t hear my screams

My theme is dark
This tornado mind of mine
Thoughts of shame and guilt
Casting shadows throughout my life
Hiding my light from the darkness
I don’t want to fight
But how do you keep from going dark
Without losing your light?

Our eyes capture majestical moments while they are open
Even closed we see the un capable being done
It’s like in the movies
We show up to witness greatness, only to be left with disappointment, disapproval of the way the scene was acted out or the scenery not good enough for our eyes
Expensive enough to buy a single ticket
We just don’t tend to remember the behind the scenes do we?
The work that’s done to get that one first kiss that changes everything, right.  The urge to want to go into the screens and tell him or her they love them.
It’s the little things that build up that make the works great.
I can’t say that all behind the scenes are good, because there exist the difficulty of getting a line right or doing a certain stance well.
All that we are and what let people see is two completely opposites, because we develop the urgency of showing only the good of us and forget to show our real selves.
Some of us manage to revel most of our identity, while others can’t let go and hide behind the lies