You know it's just Mischief,
whispering his own feather
tipped voice through your lips,
setting you inside a bushel of roses
testing your thought process
and waiting for you to get pricked?
You know that right- Hey, kid!
Hop down from that fence
We can't have you acting like this
Don't you know want to know the feeling of home?

Yes, I'll go.
I'll know.

Maybe soon but not now.*


In my imagination of perpetual rhythm,
They administer poems intravenously
We are a part of our own systems, shouting
I've no need for your Thorazine!
In my imagination of perpetual rhythm
She needs three ccs of words unfinished
And yet hopeful remedies, more like prisons,
Leave my hands from the rebellion
With no choice but to idle.

i'll just let the words fall out
of my fingertips

i can't believe
that baby.
and me,
silly therese
would give anything
to trade places
and raise him right

i read
somewhere on the internet (so
who knows how true
this will prove) they are
planning to add
fertility control agents
to our water supply

just going to poison us all,
it's no big deal
i can't help but wonder
what the **** these up-
standing americans
are thinking
                                                       ­       we ****** 3,000 babies a day

last year, alone
those "providers of the alternative"
(an alternative which soon will be mandatory-
providers of communist limitations)
made one billion dollars in revenue
and here i am, living off of cereal
with a side of
they-must-feel-bad-for-us food
thanksgiving left overs

we are guinea pigs
i feel
sometimes
there is no one looking out for us
"the number of children a woman wishes to have is up to her
with no interference from the gov'ment"
dear mr president said that,
(well, something along those lines
i've never been very good at verbatim)
then he put sterilizers in the reservoirs
coercion

i'm going to bring a child into this world
some day
and the government won't know he exists
although i'm sure that by then
we won't have a government
we will be in chaos
and unsure


not no one looking after us

she takes her sun and she goes
woah
this was for you and not for me
from the beginning for eternity
i never amounted to anything
she takes her sun and she burns slow
but not to me
now what were we but heaven sent
hell bent on getting it
polished, restored back
to congruency -
repetitive distant make believe

electricity
lights her face
at an alarming rate
the thoughts of you swarm my memory

i shut the door and here i am
on my own in this room again
this light makes me look so *****
you know this time it didn't feel that good
a rocket took off and crash landed
no it never reached the top
wasn't good enough
couldn't fill the cup
like the elevator operator got beat up
and when we hit the bottom,
he drowned in his own blood
i missed the spot so
when i was woven into polyester couch cushions at the end,
and you didn't give a ****,
well i couldn't blame you after all it was my fault
you're in bed, you're sick as ****
i'm trying but still
"there's nothing you can do
this is it"



now for whatever reason
i've been starving all my demons
till the changing seasons
cease
and there are no more lesions
on my heart of recent treason
oh i love the feeling of completion
but there is a girl
a little ways down the avenue
solid and tortured looking
like a statue

in a red hat
with a red nose
and a red back
she counts her bills - ego altruistic
for the fear

Like a shark I
Strike at the first sign
Vulnerable, innocent blood

I will make it all your fault
I'll make you wanna quit your job
Make you wanna pack a bag
Huff a chloroform rag
Just to get away from my setting sun
You'll crawl back to me
Riddled with anxieties
About all the wrong
I made you think you've done
When, truth be told,
It was me all along
Cheating, lying sneak

He calls me a Purple Sky
Glittering with pinholes of light
His Sunflower Girl,
Rising with love to cure the world

Vibrant like the Earth in May
Stole his heart, his mind, his games
A song waking up in the morning
That he sings until the evening
And will hum every day forward

He talks about running barefoot into the Forest,
Through prickers, past chipmunks
I say, “Let’s go, forget the discussion.”
He has work to do, he just likes to think about it
Tantalize himself with the idea of being carefree

Money won’t bring you freedom
It will twist and tie you into a knot
Climb a tree with a good book
See how it feels to be one with the earth
As a human

After a day of
Rally
Sweat
Skin to skin

We come home to

Creamsicle colored sunset
Dog on the back deck
Laughter in a tree canopy

Earth's sweet nourishment
Yielding natural supply
-
It's what I march for

snow in october
we’re all in a dream
words are the flakes we gather,
to form one spectacular scene of serenity
there will never be another feeling like this.
ice cold coming through our boots and the chap on your lip
take it grab hold
embrace the miserable october snow

"All agents are busy," a recording tells me repeatedly
I am not surprised by this frustrated feeling
I'm writing while I'm waiting
I would pick me in a heartbeat, I'd have a drink with me
And then I'd take me home alone and
Devour every bit of me
I can't get angry at you
No one's gonna love me like me
And so, this life is okay,
It seems solidarity is not the root of all evil things
It's when I try to combine what's yours
With what's mine,
Is a selfish beast made visible
"Hello, can I help you?"
Oh, finally! I say my name
I want to start in January
Which is in about 28 days,
and considering the alternative,
let's talk about irony.

I'll be honest, I don't have a good record
Quit every time, if you can remember
but ******* I love these words
**This has nothing to do with you.

I saw your wife at the coffee shop
You know the one I always talk about
It's up East Main, la-la-la-left on Crane
You should join us some time
You do love your caffeine

Your wife reads cook books
Did you know that?
I can't even fry an egg
Green brown sunny side up or
Unassumingly most usually down
Even with her gray hairs,
She looks younger without you around
what a shame.
Did you know that if I could find a reason,
I'd slink out of my chair and I would say,
"Nice to meet you, I don't believe I know your name."

As I think about introducing myself
It dawns on me,
She probably knows who I am by now
so that won't be necessary. Besides,
nothing makes me feel like
I'm wearing glass shoes
more than you

Honestly, Honey..

I don't want to destroy the last page of the storybook
you've written for yourself and what happiness I've found
what teeny-weensy little bit..



suddenly meaningless.



I put the shoes back in her closet
Woman's eight, half size too big
Shut the light as I leave
None of this ever belonged to me
Not literally or figuratively
Put the keys in the ignition
and I'm home free

she slips down the hall
heels click in her hand
with a peek through the doorway
all hope fails to stand
she's lured in by its glow,
she sees love interlaced, sweating its sheets,
such tenderness is to her unknown

as she snakes out the house
she wonders aloud to herself,
"who is this hollow shell
taking my soul for a walk?"

we spend our childhoods dreaming
really envisioning
what we'll become

maybe it's that childish thinking
that's kept my life so easy
maybe it's just me but I know
true happiness is not an impossibility

trouble comes and trouble goes
right out the door it goes
keep it there or soon you'll find
you've left your life and love behind

it's that easy.

Gray cloud laughed heartily at my naivety
In a whirlwind of weather, of changing minds
Drank whiskey that day to warm my plans
My last dollar was spent long before
Your name was forged by my hands
Drank whiskey that day endangering
My properly operating chemistry;
Then a hero appears
To save me, or the day, either way
He's here, laughing

Staring at this drink,
Waiting for an answer
Nothing feels better than you touching me
I'm briefly elated
Then your bright green eyes pierce through
You're hesitating and I'm searching
For words you'll find convincing
I realize that
After little deliberation
You're leaving too

Abandoned, transplanted,
Cursed, watching time in reverse
Feeling my frail white bones sink
To where my thinks don’t think
Now I hesitate,
Staring at this drink

take me some place foreign
a place where i can grow
these skies and i are misaligned

i want to sing
i too can float
set me out to sea
the wind will carry me

lovers become theives
children they believe
dreamers you won't defeat

so i keep looking out the window
i must see past the night
there's someone in the garden
a queen with no stage fright
she's standing at the window
doing just as i do
and would you look at this,
we're wearing the same shoes

the thing about the day is
that it always caves in
around you and you're buried
by its walls
but me, you see,
i've dug a grave
so there's no ******* way
i'll live to see them fall

so here's my messy bundle of words
syllables and vowels that never come out good


oh, and just to be fair..
i know you don't care
there's no way you could

Your back arched against my nose
The softness of you melting into my bones
I'm sure you're alright, I'm sure all is well

I wish you could tell me where you go at night
The morning light would be much more sweet
Without the worry and curiosity
Of your whereabouts and moral ambiguities

You and your bones are stretched across my bed
My black cat in the afternoon
Careless, magnificent loon
I could have sworn

Today I met a man named Jim
He asked about the holes in my skin
I said, "Needles *****, I'm a sick kid"
An intense conversation for having just met
Jim told me there are angels on his shoulders
They keep him steady like a candle holder
He doesn't daydream about leaping from the Sears Tower
Year after year, he's maintained his power
He should be afraid of the things that I say
"A risk you shouldn't take, you'll shoot me in your veins.
I'll eat you alive and you'll never be the same."
I'm baffled that he stays.

In my head, each day gets colder and colder
The walls raise taller, hope shrinks smaller
Addictions expand and I'm feeling older,
I've got a question for Jim, for he is still here..
Sunnier than ever and growing a beard (a contrast to my naked fear),
"Why did you ask about the holes in my skin,
Why do you feel you need to be a part of this?"
Jim takes a moment to think, Jim finally speaks,
"You are beautiful and a lovable being regardless."

let me try and recreate this
there's so much more here
than what you're getting
and what you're getting
is so insubstantial
that its adding
up to nothing
I didn't want to see that I am

An animal* at the core
what are we doing?
a  mindset of love and honesty
a reality of lies and insincerity

Santa comes in the middle of the night
to take your heat, purposely
he has no better interest
than himself
Just like all else
every degree costs him money
Money money Money

there is black in my lungs and
still it is about
"How much is this costing me?"
until you free from the nest
for your own "better interest"
it's hard
to be perfect these days
I know all I can give
is my best just like the rest of

us, who gives a ****
about what's best?

I'm watching myself,
watching you, watching me
and I'm thinking to myself
god, please
god, God, GOD!?
get me out of here
that's all I'm asking,

just

I need to be on point
no remorse, no recoil
you happened and now you've past
so at last

I think about how it's going to feel
to have to your hands all over me
besides a film reel
in a theater
that's been here
since we were ten
And how it's going to feel
to leave you standing there
alone, like me
finally

Sometimes revenge is all you need

running up the debt on the American express
it is getting cut at the end of the month
so we might as well buy everything
and if they come and take it all from me
break down the door, rip from my bed the flannel sheets
that's okay, I never needed it from the beginning
"Alright," she said, "it'll be alright."

this is a one hundred and twenty thread count Egyptian cotton down
the winter is here to eat us alive,
freeze our selfish hearts and minds
might as well be calm while we sleep,
warm at least in our dreams
when I awake, I'll be dead center on a frozen lake
all I'll have gained will be a frost bitten face
$200 comforter or not, I still feel without purpose

"Maybe we should - we should get a new shower curtain..
just the liner isn't good enough anymore."
well it was never really that good
but when did you start to care about the unnecessary?
I spend a lot of time with you because I long to be a kid;
to never know the difference, to have never learned what this is
we are hardly civilians in a community,
more-so savage beasts of an economy
lost chickens running around without our heads
we've lost sight of what it means to be human:
to have one limb and no voice,
just Love to keep us alive
we are entitled, greedy, calculated, manipulative
Americans
a different breed

From Spring I gained
a little bird - born
From a chill of
Cold - and now he's
All I Know

A lily grew
Right next to me
Serenity and pleasantries
Sat first row
At our show


your small laugh
is the applause
i so long
to hear
your small grasp
is all i ask
to hang and say
"keep me here"


Where is that swollen princess?
Could've sworn I left her near
somewhere (it's unclear)
beneath the palm trees (what's fair?)
and the rocks - (over here!) -
piling over the years.
She must be lost - oh!
Who's surprised?
Never been one to consider much time


Now we're left
Here always bewildered

i love your ***** skin and
the sound of your snores which
rattle my ear drums
i fall asleep,
my back curved to your torso
every night is a gift
and waking up with
your arms around my ribs
baby i am blessed
i love your ***** skin

more rapid than the waters,
i love you hotter than the sun
so lost in your movements
you are the only one

I've never seen such peace
As that which follows him
Transparency blurring
Stillness beckoning
"Follow me"

My brain turns into me
When I try to think of you
Selfishly inhibiting
A crystal point of view
Regardless of the fog
Cast over outsides blue
What are these things
We take for granted?

I'm trying to learn from your mistakes
Trying to prove something true

We've no credit- no togetherness-
Just a hand held
At a hospital bed
And the man two sheets over cries
For he can only see red
I pray you turn Central Park
All it's people, and all it's green
Into a memory,
Even if it's only an aerial view
On T.V.

Can't help but wonder
If anyone
Is doing anything
That they planned

Lights glow an alluring orange
Cast on me, bestow faith
In your face, I see redemption
Close to perfection
Familiarity
You can feel my fingertips
Tracing your fingerprints
This story sustained
By the never ending gain
I love you like a rainbow
After the rain

I am
The damp weight of summer
I am a day of blue skies

I am
The storm
An eruption of wind
And light

Taking you
And your confidence
Beneath
The waves

Tomorrow
When you awake
Saved by a barrel
Of gun powder
Remember
I am the soft breeze
The seagull screech
I am your savior

Why are you sad?
"Because I can't get what I want."
What you want is just too much
Oh, you're at a loss
and for this procedure - well -
it just seems like a lot
Too high a cost and
I think you've had enough

There's a fire in your touch
Running a race to win
I insist upon a finish
Have to remind myself
Not to push myself
So hard I try but
This* isn't about this

So now I write lyrically
follow a cadence
sing truthfully
Sometimes I can feel my veins
pressing through each cell of skin
As if even they
are planning an escape
but they
are not in charge of Me

So why are you sad?
I ask myself again
and the conversation to follow
contains no words worth mentioning

I've had enough
it is I who wins