When I was 12
I would sit and listen to
love songs and smile
and sing along,
and feel bad when people lost it.
I never understood,
how could someone be so sad?
"They are just a person"
I would think.

Now I know,
sitting up on late nights
looking at old photos
with tears streaming down my face.
Clutching my chest
wishing you were here.
Everyday is like a fight
to see how long it'll take
till you pop on my mind
and crush my soul.
Looking at the sky and knowing
somewhere you are there
and alone.

Now I know
and I hate it.

Why do you write
With brokenness hidden beneath your words
Sadness shadows your sentences?

She whispered softly without hesitation
"Cause the one person I ever loved
Broke my precious, innocent heart
And now I can't seem to get back up."
Tear streamed down her eyes as she looked down

I looked at her: broken, feeling unworthy
But I gazed at her with feelings
It was during her worst that I fell in love for the first time.

****** up,
tuned in,
tripped on the up game,
out on a whim.