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 Jan 2016 Crysta Gingras
Q
I'll sing my own funeral song
And attend my wake alone
I'll write and read my eulogy
And drive my hearse home.

I'll sing my own funeral song
Send my own soul to rest
I'll pray over my casket
And mourn my life and death.

I'll sing my own funeral song
Place a single flower on my grave
I'll out myself into the ground
And cover my stilled face.
just a tidbit that popped into mind after an interesting dream. the second of a five set for the new year.
Note: Thanks to V for his suggestions and always catching the little things I miss.
Check V's poetry out here: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/144637/boxes-and-shells/
 Jan 2016 Crysta Gingras
Em
Freckles
 Jan 2016 Crysta Gingras
Em
I lay my feelings down like a tablecloth;
it sits between our still bodies,
and his fingers grasp at the edges -
twisting, twirling, and innocently tearing bits away.

And yes, he acts like a child,
but he is older, and wiser, and blissfully
unattractive to my age’s everyday gaze -
I am undoubtedly blinded.

He clears his throat to speak,
but he remains silent
while I remain in a whirlwind daydream,
worrying too often about reading between his unspoken lines.

His eyes, a stormy blue haze,
but all I see is the sun;
the entirety of my vision  in awe,
enchanted by a rainbow.

He smiles,
only half of his top teeth showing,
with warmth that shades my cheeks
and beckons me to mirror his dimpled features.

The overflowing effort
he puts into making me laugh
makes me realize how easy it is
to fall for him.

And there’s something captivating
about the way he giggles
when he steals popcorn,
the way his hand softly brushes my skin when he places a sticky note on my forehead.

The freckles on his arms,
like raindrops on the sidewalk
outside my window;
the flowers in my garden grow with their nourishment.

And for every imperfect label society slaps on his untucked shirt,
I find another reason to love him.
-i wish i had a better title for my infatuation-
My angels have fallen
I say this since you have come into my life again
Yes, my *angels
have
fallen
They would never have let me speak to you once more if they were still in grace
So yes, my angels have
fallen
And I with them
Our wings that were white are now black
Tarnished so with my sins
Except mine, mine are
red
The color of
lust, passion, temptation
Temptation that my demons gladly let in
For my angels have
fallen**
They have not been *heaven sent
Inspired by Amy Bartol's "Premonition Series"
#fallen #angels #red
 Jan 2016 Crysta Gingras
Q
If we as humans could indeed fly
If we could take to the heavens and kiss the sky
If we could truly reach up with wings to guide us
It would feel much the same as falling in love.

These wings of mine are tipped with joy
The feathers woven from thoughts sweet and coy
The bones are hollow and made of steel
And the power of flight received in what I feel.

If we as humans could indeed soar
If we could shoot for the sky and past it for more
If we could fly our way straight to the sun
I reckon it'd feel much like finding the one.
The first of a five set for the new year
The worst part is that I really did think you were different
You fit all my cliche ideas
Dance with me? yes.
Kiss me? Yes
Hold and kiss my hands? Yes
Call me?
Even pretend you know I exist?
No.
I don't know what I missed
Now I will look inside myself for imperfections that I didnt have before you.
I will try and remember what I did or didn't do
I'll look for problems in me because you're not here to look at instead
Even though the problem is you
You're not in my computer,

But you are on my screen,

So if I type that I love you

You know what I mean.


You're not in my house,

But you are in my room,

So if I type that I hold you,

It's to brighten my gloom.


You're not in my garden,

But you are in my flowers,

So if I type that I watch you,

It's for hours and hours.


You're not in my radio,

But you are in my song,

So if I type that I need you,

It's because we belong.


You're not in my body,

But you are in my whole,

So if I type that I want you,

You are holding my soul.
how in a world so diverse
should that invisible line be drawn
that requires me to conform to your beliefs
no matter what i believe to be right or wrong
you talk of creation
you preach your faith
you've explained to me over and over again
how god doesn't make mistakes
you've admitted my faults
before you ever had the chance to know
who i am or what i stand for
nor have you ever sought any of the secrets i sow
you will never understand
even if you were ever to try
what it is, to look into your own reflection
knowing all your life that you were living a lie
no chance family would understand
likely, they'd casually disappear
so you hold it inside and you begin hating your life
and you wrap yourself up within a blanket of fear
no where to go if you ever came out
except shelters or straight out there on your own
you know this is likely going to be your fate
so you suffer in the silence alone
now in a world where answers are written in code
everything seems upside down at times
coming out was the scariest thing i've ever done
but coming out has saved my life
for the first time in forever
i have the strength to just be me
all in all, i'm learning it doesn't really matter
what anybody else out there thinks
from time to time, and time again
i know your stares will pierce me to the bone
your words will bruise me and your convictions will condemn me
but nothing you can do or say will destroy my soul
living in a world scattered with natural born women and men
within a culture that panics at the thought of change
where differences are imaginary weaknesses
and everybody strives to be the same
i find the courage to stand proud and tall
and i begin this journey when at times i might feel afraid and alone
i am trans, and although my life anew has now barely begun
for the first time in forever, now i have hope
Sometimes, a laugh
can also be a cry.

Sometimes people want to live and some of them want to die.

Sometimes we have to lie in order to survive, even though it's not right.

Sometimes, a beautiful person can be ugly if their attitude worsens.

Sometimes, getting advice isn't going to affect you right.

Sometimes, we gotta learn from whats right and what's wrong.

Sometimes, we didn't know that we're brave and strong.
Othertimes, we managed to hold on,  but throughout life, we should  carry on.
My first poem ever to be submitted!  ;)
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