I have this fantasy
of
us
sitting on the
couch
drinking
smoking
talking

then at dusk
we
sit outside
and
we
drink and
smoke and
talk
some more

you
telling
me
what’s on
your
mind
and
me
telling
you
what’s on
my
mind

not that
I
ever really
have much on
my
mind
or
at least
anything
worth
talking about

you
do most
of the
talking
and
I
just
listen
to
your
voice:
the most
beautiful
voice
given to
the most
beautiful
woman
ever
created

then after
we
finish
our
drink and
our
smoke
we
make
love
and
we
lie naked
feeling each other’s
heartbeat
and
hearing each other’s
breathing

and
in the morning
I look at
you
as
you
sleep and
I
admire
you
and
appreciate
you

and after a
good morning kiss
we
get up and
do it all
again

tomorrow, young grandson,
you will look sharp
and handsome.

tomorrow, young grandson,
there will be many faces:
some young,
some old,
some familiar,
some unfamiliar.

tomorrow, young grandson,
there will be flowers,
hugs
and kisses.

tomorrow, young grandson,
there will be great warmth
drying all tears
and curing all broken hearts.

tomorrow,
young grandson,
you will be at my funeral.

made several circles
cut across
a few times
up
down
around
the lot

finally
found the
**** building

I parked
got out
walked toward the building

crossed paths
with
a couple men
in business-casual
attire
neither one of
them greeted
nodded
smiled
nothing

I entered
the building
crossed the lobby

there were
lots
of stone
lots
of glass
lots
of indirect lighting
all of it
very nice
very modern

I waited for the
next elevator
going up

an elevator
opened
I got on

the elevator
doors were
closing
a young woman
looking down
stepped
into view

with my arm
I stopped the
elevator doors
from closing

the doors
reopened

the young woman
got onto
the elevator

“what floor?” I asked

she nodded
looking down

I didn’t
say anything

the doors closed
the elevator
took us up

she stood there
looking down
neither one
of us spoke

we got off
on the eighth floor
went opposite
directions
in the hall

I found the
suite that
I needed

I opened one
of the double
glass doors
and entered the
reception area

I said to
the receptionist,
“I’m here to see Miss…”

the receptionist
cut me off
just gave me
four big nods

I sat in a
cushioned chair
that was
very comfortable

I waited

various staff
walked by
without
looking up
without
looking around

some folks
passed each other
without
acknowledging
one another

I waited

I took note
of the furniture
took note
of the decor

I waited

in an office
in a building

much
nicer than
the people
in them

intersecting
lines of sight

crossing
the
midnight boundary

two trains
passing

now
it’s only
history

I awoke in the morning
slid out of bed
and went through
my usual routine of
staring through my
office window
watching the deer
and other wild life
as I devoured a
*** of coffee

the sun was out

afternoon rolled around
and so did the clouds:
big
dark
grey
******* of clouds

I was sitting at my
desk in my office
jotting down thoughts
to begin work on my
next set of poems

I can burn many
hours brainstorming
and writing

and I did

evening fell
and finally so
did the rain:
heavy
chunky
drops
of rain

pounding the roof
and the windows

there was thunder
and lightning
and my desk lamp
flickered a time or two

then
a bright flash
of lightning
and a loud
crack of thunder

and the
power went out
in the house

I hadn’t done much
of anything
so while waiting
for the power to
come back
I thought
that I should
get off my ***
and do something

and I did

just long enough
to find a flashlight
and uncork a
bottle of wine

and then
I went back
to writing

when you give up on something
you start it
without finishing it

nothing bothers me
more than
an unfinished something

you can’t give up
on something
you haven’t started

therefore
I’m never going to
start
anything

that way
I’ll never
give up
and
nothing
will ever
be
unfinished

in this town, they say,
love is just
a
heartbeat
away

yet
for many
good men
the pain of
abandonment
is the
same
heartbeat
away

in this town
the sun falls
and
the moon rises
where
for many
good men
tombstones
mark the graves
of
hope
happiness
and desire -
of which
all
died
of
a
premature
death