I am the rising sun,

I am all of the Christmas fun.

I am the flowering seed,

I am the summer breeze.

I woke up this morning wanting to cry,
and when I called him I realised why.
Although he was honest, he spoke with a cold tongue.
I broke down in the courtyard when it came to light,
He broke every promise in the space of one night.
He made me hate this city, immediately.
I thought he was something else,
but as it turns out he was just someone else.

You pull me
                        D
                            O
                               W
                                   N
My mind says no
but my body is agreeing to your ripping claws
poisonous tendrils
nematocysts
I can only see you in the right light
translucency blending in the oceans tide
where I am
                D
                  R
                    O
                     W
                       N
                         I
                          N
                           G
                         I want to be saved
here comes the next wave
I go under again
Down to the bottom to never be
                                                        F
                                                          O
                                                            U
                                                              N
                                                                D
A gurgling bubbling twisted crown
the only tiny remaining

S
  O
    U
      N
         D
As it hits the silent sandy ocean bottom.

Cherie Nolan © 2016

I bow my head.
We sing in memory, songs that he loved.
I look around, everyone's in black.
It's like a big hole swallowing me,
And I can't get out.

I hear ladies sobbing, babies crying,
And faint screams in the distance,
Everything is blurred.

I smell fresh flowers and old women's perfume.
I feel the urge to scream, to scream as loud as I can.
To scream at the top of my lungs,
"Please don't be gone".
But I don't.
I keep it in, repeadtedly resciting it in my head.

I look around again,
Everything's gone.
It's just me, alone at his grave.
It always was, and it always will be.

They say that he talked to Angels,
And maybe I do too.