my head pounds.
thoughts drifting in and out,
forcing themselves upon me,
toying with my emotions
until i imagine things that aren't there,
poisoning my mind
with what ifs -
questions i can never hope of answering.
a torrent,
unceasing barrage against me,
beating and pushing me,
down, down again,
threatening to bury me,
secret me away from the reality,
and i'm tempted to let it win,
stop fighting upstream,
and be carried away to places i have never been....

and the still small voice whispers, "trust."

and the raging waters subside again.

I watched the sky bleed red last night,
It was a beautiful sight,
Maybe God cut the sunset with a knife,
Left it to die, or maybe
Bleeding is a new way of life?
Under a guise that maybe
Daytime isn't what I'm supposed to like,
And the devil's filled with spite
So he takes away the light, like,
"My shadow... touches"

Darkness, creeps, over, me,
Why, am I, scared?
Darkness, creeps, over, me,
God told me, to be-ware
I, didn't, listen
Devil pulls me, by the, hair

He said

You know your idolized reality?
It's a lie, my disciple
Can't hide your broken mentality,
You can write these peace cyphers
But what does it change, in actuality ?
Not a **** thing, young writer
Let's skip the formalities and say that
At night, I creep up in ya head like,
"I'm here, start running"


Darkness, creeps, over, me,
Why, am I, scared?
Turning, to the, word, but
God, wasn't, there,
I, should've, listened, but I
didn't, really, care,

Last night, the devil crawled in my bed like,
"Make space, we're sharing."

When I see you I want to *****,
When I'm without you I simply cry
I can't solve these issues in a sonnet,
You've moved on... why can't I?

They all say that a white boy can't rap,
So I gotta fire back,
I gotta bat and two straps in my back pack,
Did you get all that?
I'm coming in your battle swingin for your ball caps,
You better fall back, you better fall back,
Spit a verse at a camel and I broke his straw back
Cause he can't hack it, he won't have it
Run from the truth, like a pale face from a savage
I'm above average, Gimme a track to ravage
I can make a holy day black,
You might call me sabbath,
Imma take a car and imma crash it
Dying as I feel alive surrounded by these glass bits
I read a passage,
About not giving into sadness,
So I'll tear it up like some fabric,
Destroying rappers' become a bad habit

I walk down these halls,
I speed past these walls.
This place I've been in for three years,
this place in which I've laughed and shed tears.
This place I've made enemies and friends,
this place I've traveled to journey's end.
I'll never forget this place,
I'll never let it wander in empty space.
It holds three years of memories,
Some that I'll forget when I'm old and some that I'll never fail to see.
I walk down these halls,
I speed past these walls.
And I reminisce,
about how much of this place I'll miss.
All of the faces that have come to be familiar,
all of the people I used to think were peculiar.
The friends that I've made,
the relationships that have caved.
The failed tests,
and educational quests,
that I've encountered in these halls
and inside these walls.

And so
She finds
Beauty
In the sins
She keeps
Beneath
Her sleeves

I wonder if they thought I would ever care
Sometimes emotionally dormant,
I live my life like a mannequin
Still in every way...
I wonder if he thought of me or only himself
I wonder if she knew how I would feel
I've made my mistakes and now I'll make a few more...
Try to be okay
Try to be okay
I deserve myself, I served me well
I miss my friends, the ones I would die for
I desire no revenge, I'll dig no graves
All is fair in love and war and
Try to be okay
...so the mind was made for torture
Back track. Remember. Stop. Time pass quickly.
Tears run down the cheeks of the sky,
Grazed by the anguish of the sun
If I could go back in time I wouldn't change you,
I'd change my mind.

I'm weak and can't love what has ruined me
...and can't hate what has all but made me
My mind is sick I made it so
Through lies and misplaced trust I have lost myself
I miss myself, how I used to be
The ones I care for just don't see
I found a love I can not keep
When you realise what I am
You might begin to understand
I'm lonely and sad in the company of the man I think I am
The ability to make people feel how you want dies with time the more you use it
When your emotions fade and you no longer believe in what you say
They see straight through you
People see lies as much as hear them
I am my own worst enemy
I hate myself for my strengths as well as my weaknesses
None of you feel like friends right now
Some of you betrayed me
Even let me down... You could've put your **** in anything.
Yet twice you you took a piece of my puzzle
Singed the edges and deformed its curves
And now it can never be complete
I think that's my fault
Somewhere down the line I let someone down again