Aren't we all Hypocrites and Psychos pretending to be Normal?

I keep seeing,
Eleven-eleven,
Will my word turn,
To more than a seven?
I'm just stagnated,
In this still waters,.
Can't flow forward,
Nor fly towards,
But will I get what I deserve,
Dear Eleven-eleven,
Make my life even (100).

I get sleep,
A real one.
But I’m scared to accept it,
Cause I don’t know if I can.
If I deserve it,
While all I do is,
Dilly dallying,
While nothing’s happening.
When I have everything to be happening.

I watched the movie,
The perks of being a wallflower.
It was beautiful, you see,
forty three minutes + an hour.
Charlie, He was a wallflower,
Little did he know he hid his power.
Until he found his friends,
The best of all, anxiety it ends.
You thought but it didn't.
It ate him, every inch of his skin,
Devoured him like a devil.
He kept his sufferings mute.
Why would he do that?
Coward you might ask.
He is Charlie, one of us,
How might we speak up,
When the world doesn't hear.
You might think the same.
But seldom would you speak.
I liked it the movie.

Should I ask the night or the ocean?
For how long should my thoughts be concealed deep in dark sky and blue?
Should I ask the trees or the wind?
For how long should my feelings not be shown on their own and invisible?
Should I lastly ask you and Yes! You?
For why do you keep my dreams in secret and far from my reach?
I ask for answers and not to be left with all the questions I've collected.

I wondered,
How could the great Artists and Writers,
Give in to depression.
Had they not feel their art within,
Or had their art not heal them in?
If only had they blend with the strokes,
Fused themselves with the Prose.
Would they have been here?
Why would they disappear?
I got my answer for it all,
When this poem’s end called.

She's so greedy,
She wants everything to herself.
Thought the sand beneath my feet was mine,
She replied by taking it away with her waves.
The moment I got in she embraced me,
Loved it but she then pushed me back.
Before I turned she took me in,
With another wave again and again.
Tried to get hold of the sea shells in my hand,
She made them go and hide inside the sand.
I then climbed the rocks there,
She didn't even leave me there.
Made me slip and get into the beach.
Is she greedy or does she love me?
I'm not sure I don't think I know,
I only will, when I get to the beach.
Only when I get to the beach again.

I know it's rough,
Living in harsh real world.
But my dear friend, be a plant!
Be a plant,
Absorb only the good from others,
Like O₂ from air, nutrients from soil.
Be a plant,
A reason for someone's smile,
Like a flower shower from up above.
Be a plant,
Support yourself every now and then,
Stay strong and stand firm like the trunk!
Be a plant,
Forgiving and always growing,
Like they keep sprouting from the stump!
Be a plant,
Sleep when it's night,
And glow in the day!
So good night as the day ends,
And be a plant my dear friend!

I want to break free,
Break all the glasses,
Cups and boundaries.
I want to break them into pieces,
Like a hitting a ceramic plate down.
I wish to shout above my lungs,
Tear everything apart,
And heal myself.
I want to break free,
So I can free myself.
I want to break free,
So I can heal myself.

I'd rather become a Titan and hate humans than being the only human in this inhumane world...

These unusual rain drops,
And thy warm tear drops.
I feel them both on my skin,
And that the heart is feelings bin.
Unworthy when hidden,
Betrayed when opened...

You are the only guiding star I have.
The best competitive soulmate I ever have.
Annoying you is what I love to do,
But whatever I do,you don't even move.
When you made me do all the chores mom asked you to,
I figured out that you lacked sense of Justice too.
Those moments when we fought for TV,
And those wonderful times
When you got caught for something I did.
Our maths was poor when it came to sharing food,
Not to mention the case of chocolates though.
I made faces to irritate you,
But I get annoyed with that poker face you do.
You know me way too well,
My favorite icecream flavor I don't tell.
You are the Tanjiro of my life,
Who carries me and my burdens of my life.
You are the Finneas of my music,
Who sets everything right and less chaotic.
You are my Tom while I'm your Jerry
How can our duo be less dramatic.

Happiness,
Thou art I ask for.
All the time,
Hither I stayeth.
For thee  to  cometh,
Into mine arms.

It gazes at me-the blank canvas,
Her look pierces into me,within me.
And I look at her,unable to hold her stare,
I then search for her eyes to gaze into,
But I terribly fail,I kept trying and failing,
So I take those brushes and move my eyes with them,
The paint moves with the brush and so do my eyes,
And then I see those eyes looking at me,
And then I hold her stare at me,
And then I find the canvas that isn't blank like me.
She's smiling and I found a friend for me.

All these days I know I was a cloud,
Moving with the wind was all I knew.
Been going on with no fellow collisions,
Escaping all the mountains that I confront.
Smiling back while the sun smiles at me,
Despite carring the weight inside me.
I wonder, until when should I keep moving,
For me to become one with the river that's flowing.
I hesitate to move with the wind,
I stop and then the rain falls from me.
All the thoughts that weighed me down,
Flow down just to combine into a water body.
But I'm still left with a part of me,
That made me certain of my eternity.

The clouds move faster than usual,
But do they go to where they want to?
Or just follow the wind where it leads to?
I wonder.
And I keep wondering about those clouds...

Why do I feel like I'm a cloud?
Just passing by and living the life as it is.

Am I going there where I want to?
Or am I just spending my days like life leads to?
I wonder.
And I keep wondering about the life that I want...

Nights, Libraries and Exam halls,
White sheets, New books and Sleep.
She loves these all in heap.
Lonely nights console her,
Bundles of books save her,
Paints and rain are what make her,
She is a dandelion and it is her!

Her eyes lie to me,
Shes perplexed in the mess,
That she didn't see.

It pours and I paint...

Dear diary,
I love my life.
Never have I ever thought,
I'd not want to leave hostel.
Never have I ever made friends,
That stay throughout!
Never have I ever had these memories,
Worthy to share and happy to deserve.
Never have I ever felt so well,
It's been more than a week for sure!
Never have I ever loved my life,
That I want to live it alll!
Never have I ever wanted more time,
To spend with the people I cherish!
My heart feels so light,
I squeal with delight.
Dear diary,
I love my life!

My heart pains,
When the fruits rot,
My dear oranges that i love,
Lose their color,
Become so bland,
They look dead,
I feel sorry,
I could devour them,
When they were happy,
And now they're gone,
I just have to bid bye,
Forever and ever,
Their smell that I love,
Fades away,
The perishable scent,
I don't like it.
I only wish that I had eaten,
When their life gave me a chance.
I should've eaten.
They are delicate,
I shouldn't do this again.

I know it hurts,
To hide all your scars,
And pain from your mind wars.
With a fake smile on your face

I know it hurts,
When people ask you why,
Rather than understanding your sighs
And the silence in your blood.

I know it hurts,
To reply how are you?
With fine.
When you know it doesn't rhyme.

I know it hurts,
When people act like they know,
They don't feel a thing though,
But you just ignore it all and so.

I know it hurts,
When you scream in your head,
With those invisible tears you shed,
Thoughts are left unsaid.

I know it hurts
When the world you see is black,
And You can't get yourself back,
That you think your answer lies in red.

I know it hurts,
But please do rely upon your family or friends,
Your life isn't meant to end.
You can make as many amends.

Why all the spiel,
Just to make me mystified?
Your ideas were like hieroglyphs,
Characters that I can't understand.
I sailed away the whole ocean,
To wave you a hiii,
Just to find you sail in another yacht!

It's dark outside,
It's like the silence has died.
I can hear the lightest whisper,
And the flicker of insect's wings.
I hear things so loud,
That I can't hear you.
Have you been saying something?
I don't hear you,
And your unsolicited advice.
But anyways,
Thank you!

New moon,
Dead burnt plaster,
Dried acrylic.

Come out,
Either thee sun or thee rain,
Hiding behind those clouds again.
Weather's humid all over and again.
Stop playing and show thyselves and explain!