I'm really not all that nice
I just have an extremely dense
Filter
Some
Often call me a *****
But without that filter
They'd call me the definition
Of a living hell.

I find it odd that people think I
Don't understand what they
Say
Just
Because I'm not actively
Listening to what you say
Doesn't mean I don't hear
And acknowledge the words

And as I go through the day
Attempting to look on the bright
Side
I
Realize that, despite telling myself
It'll get better in time
That I may not have much of that
Time I speak of to begin with

So maybe I should go a day
Without persisting in being so
Fake
And maybe I should try
Just for one day to remove the
Filter
But first I have to brave the fear
Of the freedom that comes with
Uninhibited thought

I laugh at all your jokes
Am I obvious yet?
I smile whenever you appear
Am I obvious yet?
I make you breakfast, lunch, and desserts
Am I obvious yet?
I you want it, I'll buy it
Am I obvious yet?
I'm never satisfied until I've made you smile
Am I obvious yet?
I'm always on your side
Am I obvious yet?
There's nothing more beautifully heartbreaking than when you cry
Am I obvious yet?
When you're offended, I fight
Am I obvious yet?
When you need company, I talk to you all night
Am I obvious yet

If not, please explain
How I can be more plain
With the way I express emotion
To give you some notion
Of the answer for everything I do
Which, somehow, you still have no clue
Which forces me to convey what I've always knew
*Look, I really like you!

That long hair that flows
Right down her back
A rich chocolate brown
Following wherever she goes

Those little coral slips
Just above her chin
Shaped like a heart
Stretched tight when she grins

Those indescribable orbs
Are they brown, blue, green?
But no, it's an amalgamation
That falls somewhere in between

A laugh so bright and contagious
That I join it no matter my mood
So genuine and lovely that when
It's fading I give pursuit

A smile I can't help but mimic
As it's forms around the words
That tickle me to teary laughter
No matter how absurd

And she is my friend
She means the world to me
She's my current standard
My definition of beauty

Oh no!
What have I done?
This is madness,
And it's only just begun.
Quick, abort the mission!
Before it's far too late!
How could I end up liking,
A girl that's obviously straight?
She's not homophobic
But she wouldn't accept me
Oh no, oh no, oh no
I've got to set myself free!
Even if I have to lie to my brain
I've got to pull back these reins!

She's not pretty!
Oh yes she is
She's not nice!
Is that what you're trying to fool me with?
She's chubby!
So are you sweetie, and we both know she's not
She's a real ****!
That arguments' already been shot
She's short!
You don't seem to care
She's not my type!
Now, who are you trying to fool here?
Her hair's too long!
Now you're just grasping at straws
Her morals are all wrong!
Aren't those your flaws?

I've tried my best
But I know it's not true
My brain is quite smart
Aw, sweetie, thank you
I'm not going to get rid of this
The way I normally do
It seems this crush is a bit stuck
This isn't just a crush dear, get a clue
So I suppose I may panic,
Because this situation blows.
And in case I've not said it enough-
Oh no, oh no, oh no!

She's not done anything to me
And yet I'm as jealous as jealous can be

He's never said a word out of place
He's completely undeserving of this hate

They've never laughed at my hair
Or giggled at the clothes I wear

So why am I mad?
Running with wounds new and raw
It's time to see the truth
And shake it off

Shake off the funk
And years of gunk

Shake it off

Get rid of the ***** laundry
It's time to stop wandering

Shake it off

This is a new life
Smile and wave

This is your right, hold it close
The smile on your face

The joy in your eyes

The peace in your mind

It's all yours
So gather up the bad
And shake it off

I don't need a miracle
To make me smile
I don't need a comedian
To make me laugh awhile

I don't require much at all
To see the little things
That make life worth living
That make gifts worth giving

I don't need money to ride a plane
And at the world, take a look.
Because with a book, I can fly
And see every cranny and nook

I don't need fame to feel love
I don't need Twitter followers or Facebook
Because when I'm with my friends
I've got more than enough

So go on and have your
Superficial wants, but when you're finally ready
Come over to where I live
Where life is true, fun, and steady

Where the sun is shining
So we go outside
And horses are lovely
So we take a ride

Where instinct is action
And plans are no more
Where we laugh and play
'Till we can't anymore

Join me here in this world
Join me in a land of sun
Where we're all filled with love
And never judge anyone

Because I'm sick of deep
Bored of emotional
And the 'touching' poems put me to sleep
I'm tired of the tearjerkers
That used to make me cry
Exhausted all the fast workers
That made it hard to sleep at night

So if you're looking for something deep
For an endless well of wisdom
You won't get it from me
I've made my share of those and then some
I'm retiring from the business
Of poems that hit the heart
Because my heart's a bit black and blue
So I'll find another art

Perhaps I'll make you laugh
With silly little tales
Perhaps I'll make you mad
Until you rant and rail
On how bad a writer I am
But at least you'll soon see
That no matter what I do
You get no tearjerkers from me

You want to ponder yourself?
So be it!
Do so when I'm not around
Because when you start spouting philosophy
I'll be the first to skip town
So if you're just as sick as me
Of all the contemplating frowns
Pick up the happy script
And put those sad poems down

I blamed you before, but not anymore
I'll cry out my pain, stop beating the horse slain
I'll move past the lies, stand up tall and try
I swear I'll be great, when I'm given my clean slate

I won't forgive him, no, I won't hate him though
He did me wrong, yes, but it's time to move on
I'll put down my knives, maybe have one last cry
I'll suit up for hardships, stop running from relationships

I'll fix myself up, take risks and try my luck
I won't be scared of everything, I'll live for the next spring
I won't hang myself anymore, I know fixing me up was a chore
And you won't have to worry, because this time I'm sorry

You'll never have to hurry home, wondering what I've done
Never have to cry, thinking, once again, I've tried to die
I'll start looking for love, maybe give someone my trust
I won't fester in my hurt, I'll actually do my work

I'll be better, I promise
I'll be better, I swear
I'll be better, in time
I'll be better this year

I'll find the people who love me
For being only who I am
I'll find those people and you'll see
I'm no longer the sacrificial lamb

And yes, this is my revenge
Living the best I can
And I'll live to show him I'm better
I'll be better than that man

I'll learn from his mistakes
I'll treat my children right
I know I've what it takes
I'll make it through these nights

So just wait for me
If you think I'm worth the time
I'll fix myself
And take the life that's mine

When you've walked the ground you do not know
When you've sewn the seeds you saw fit to sow
When you've run so fast you must go slow
When you've had many highs and just as many lows

I'll be wishing you home cross the land and sea
I'll be wishing you back to where you first left me
I'll be wishing you home to where we'll both be happy
I'll be wishing you home to me

When you've see all those people you dreamed to meet
When you've made all the money to live a life sweet
When you've cried all the tears and soaked the bed sheets
When you're to sad to cry and too tired to sleep

I'll be wishing you home, calling you loud and clear
I'll be wishing you back to my love and cheer
I'll be sending my love to bring you back here
I'll be wishing you home, my dear

When you've smiled all the smiles that will ever grace your face
When you've lived all the lives  that were given the human race
When you've grown sick of genuine and even sicker of fake
When you given all you can give and taken all you can take

I'll be wishing you back here, wishing you home
I'll be wishing to see how much you've grown
I'll be wishing to hear of the places you roamed
I'll be wishing you, wishing you home.

Drown me in a sea
Of your affection
Raise me on a cloud
And send me in any direction

Hold me in your arms
Chase away the nightmares
Release me into joy
In a land of light with no fear

And I'll hold you
I'll love you more than I thought I could
I'll see this relationship through
I'll love you just the way I should
I'll keep you closer
Than I ever thought you'd be
And we'll stay this way
For blissful eternity

Show me all the little things
That I would never notice alone
Present me to the outdoors
Then take me back home

Fly me to ethereal realities
And watch me explore them like a child
Take me where you wish me to be
Reveal my true self: free and wild

And I'll hold you
I'll love you more than I thought I could
I'll see this relationship through
I'll love you just the way I should
I'll keep you closer
Than I ever thought you'd be
And we'll stay this way
For blissful eternity

And we'll stay this way
For blissful eternity...

We live in everyday
Where beauty is a must
To garner respect
And kindness is all but non-existent
And character is expected to be genuinely fake
Where one must subtly give less than they take
Where all is fair if you're not caught
And the bad ones are good
And the good ones are not
And the people live in fear
Yet they aren't aware
Where the children dream of bells
Trudge to the next class
Until someone rebels
Fire, smoke, then ash
And we live here daily
And we search to be happy
Yet how can we be
If this wasteland is our home?
Happiness is a state of mind
That the mind itself rarely recognizes
And so we'll search for what we've already got
And find it we will?
No, find it we'll not.

I'll climb the highest mountain
To prove my worth
And yet and still
I am inadequate

I'll walk across lava
As testament to my bravery
And yet and still
I am incompetent

I'd do many things
So foolish just to please
Just to be judged
And not found wanting

And you'll judge me
Knowing you too will be judged
And yet and still
You find me lacking

And I am lacking
I am not unique
You won't see me in the window
With all the timeless antiques

You won't catch me and feel proud
Because I'm not short of supply
And I'm not high in demand
As I do not satisfy

I am but the inadequate
As quantifull as air
As unique as dirt
Nothing special by any means

I don't make the quota
I'm not significant or memorable
I'm not the one
I'm not an exclusive individual

I'm not much at all
There's nothing to see
Don't look for diamonds
In this rough of inadequacy.

Click, click, click, click
Precise and unhurried steps.
Standing tall and straight.
Always knowing where you'll step next.

Click, click, click, click
Whether in pants or a dress
Step with confidence and elegance
Remember you're the best of the best

Click, click, click, click
Now subtly sway those hips
Walk briskly but leisurely
Coy smile high on your lips

Click, click, click, click*
You're now walking the walk
Sophistication in every step
Next is to learn the talk

I'll cut out my bad habits
It's time to be classy
Sit straight
Be polite
No anger

Be classy

Small smiles
Small laughs
Genuine
Dressed to the nines
At all times

Be classy

Heels
Scarves
Sunglasses
And gloves
Unique and stylish

Be classy

A right socialite
A Queen who plays the part
A Goddess of a lady
Love, Class is an art.

Some days, I wish I was deaf
I wish I couldn't hear
So that people could make their routine sounds
And my mind would stay clear

'Misophonia' they call it
It's driving me insane
A hum, a chew, a noise
Replaying in my brain

I can't abide people
Because they'll make a sound
And just like that my good mood
Crashes to the ground

Misophonia, they call it
Misophonia, I hate my ears
They pick up every single noise
I wish I couldn't hear

*Misophonia, literally “hatred of sound”, is a form of decreased sound tolerance. It is believed[1] to be a neurological disorder characterized by negative experiences resulting only from specific sounds, whether loud or soft.

Tick* goes the clock
I think a thousand thoughts
Before it can chime tock

Don't smoke, I thought you stopped
Don't be sad, I know you're not
Don't cut , or at least, not a lot

Tick says the clock.

Three seconds have gone by
"Is the day over?" I sigh
I can't last but I'll try
Eight cuts on my thigh

tock chimes the clock

My lungs, they burn
My brain begins to yearn
I won't give in, I'll live and learn

TICK yells the clock

Time is so loud and slow
I can't take much more
I need help but you'll never know

TOCK! The clock screams

It's in my brain
I can't shake it loose
I'm losing my rhyme
My speech becomes uncouth

TICK

There are voices in the background
I cannot abide them
I hate it, I hate sounds

TOCK

Just one cut
Won't be too much
Right? Right!?

tick...

And the vertigo recedes
Suddenly, I can think
And time doesn't pass slowly

tock...

Perhaps I shall smoke
Until I die
And at my funeral, no one will cry

Tick...

The day's almost over
I've done pitiful little
Yet my nerves are run brittle

Tock

"Not again!" I beg
I can't take this
And, looking at my knife,
I am hopeless

tick-tock Tick-Tock TICK-TOCK *TICK-TOCK!

This is my box
Stay far away
You don't fit in here

You look different
You speak different
You don't fear what we fear.

Find another box
One that fits you
A box with people like you

I have friends in other boxes
Please don't tell
They're different, and they're weird too

I like them anyway
But I can't really get close
Because their boxes aren't near.

I wish I could leave
My box sometimes
But I can't break the fear

Little sticks
So deadly
Grey in the air
So pure
Mind so focused
Unfocused
Little sticks
Of death
I'm flying
Orange stick
I crash
Red tipped
I inhale
Little sticks of death

Twisting my words
Though I know you heard
Exactly what I said
That's not what I meant

Around in circles
We can't understand
You heard what I said
And that's not what I meant

I don't philosophy
You heard what I said
What don't you get?
I said exactly what I meant

Daddy Dearest
With your fingers 'round my neck
Daddy Dearest
The definition of a wreck
Daddy Dearest

Daddy, Daddy
Did you know I want you dead?
Daddy, Daddy
Did you know I've tried to **** myself?
Daddy, Daddy

Daddy Dearest
It's my turn to beat you up
Daddy Dearest
Isn't that how you show 'love'?
Daddy Dearest

Daddy, Daddy
It's my turn to fling you down the stairs
Daddy, Daddy
We've got to play this game fair
Daddy, Daddy

Daddy Dearest
It's your turn to slice your veins
Daddy Dearest
It's your turn to go insane
Daddy Dearest

Daddy, Daddy
It's my turn to tell you you're worthless
Daddy, Daddy
It's my turn to tell you you're useless
Daddy, Daddy

Daddy Dearest
It's my turn to tell you how much I hate you
Daddy Dearest
It's my turn to put down what you look up to
Daddy Dearest

Daddy, Daddy
It's my turn to **** your cat
Daddy, Daddy
It's my turn to watch you cry whilst I laugh
Daddy, Daddy

Daddy Dearest
Do you see what you've done?
Daddy Dearest
The monster has always won
Daddy Dearest

I'm an emotional roller-coaster
But you'd never be able to tell
Underneath the calm exterior
I'm in a living Hell

Where up is down
And down is downer
Where high is low
And low is lower

The cup's half-empty
Or is it half-full?
Is life pushing me low
Or is that death's pull?

'Smile' they told me
Smile I did
'Laugh' they commanded
I've been laughing ever since

Does this smile make you happy?
Am I good enough yet?
Is my laugh contagious?
Can you see my regrets?

I smile when I'm up
I smile when I'm down
It's a sure symptom
Of someone easily pushed around

I'm up, I'm happy
(I'm not, I'm not)
I'm down, I'm happy
(I hope you all rot)

In the loud silence
There is a fine mess
Where a girl, a little pregnant
Is trying to act naturally

She an adult child
Absolutely unsure of what she's done
For an advanced beginner in parenthood
She's doing awfully good

Anxiously she patiently waits
As the amateur expert checks
Is she almost safe
Or is she almost pregnant?

I wish someone would put me down to my face
So I could run and cry while someone stood up in my place
I wish they'd stand tall and tell that person that really, I'm quite great
I wish, I wish, I wish, but no one will stand for this face

I wish they'd say "she's just hurting"
That it's fake, the smile on my face
I wish they'd say "she just needs to do some crying"
That I don't have confidence, just self-hate

And I wish the person who insulted me
Would then comprehend
Everything I try to be
Versus who I really am

I wish they'd change their ways
And love me like I always craved but never had
I wish they'd dig past the craze
And see that I'm not all that bad

I wish they'd laugh at my jokes
I wish they'd see when I'm hurt
And never succumb to the pity I evoke
I wish they'd see how hard I work

I wish they'd see the knife in my hand
And kiss away my tears until I let it go
I wish they'd see the noose round my neck
And tell me "No, no, no"

I wish, I really do
That someone would get me
That someone could see
The frown behind the smile of a clown

But no one ever does
I've too much pride to tell them myself
So I'll let the bitterness fester
And live in my self-made Hell.

I wish, I hope
But bitterness is an acidic dish
So even though it won't do any good
God, how I wish

Mondays
When I oversleep
Forget to eat
And fall out of seats

Mondays
When they hate on gays
"What *******" they say
And reject all change

Mondays
When the people are biased
And no one's ever quiet
And the children rebel and riot

Mondays
When people are killed
For someone else's thrills
Against loved one's wills

Mondays
I say
But, in truth,
It's everyday.

I hate it
I hate you
I hate it there

The people
Their talking
Their ways

I hate it all
I hate you all
Abhor, loathe, despise

I hate it there
But you make me go
And I hate you for that

I know I smile
At you when you speak
But you actually annoy me
More than I let on

I know I'm too serious
Whenever you see me
But I really like you
More than I let on

I know I'm too stoic
When you show me you care
But I need your sympathy
More than I let on

I know I'm too happy
When you try to be serious
But I need your respect
More than I let on

I won't always show
What I feel on my face
But sometimes it's hard
To give you a way

To see what I'm feeling
To make me vulnerable
But I wish I could show you
More than I let on

Shhh...
Don't speak
Respect those who are gone

Hush, hush
They weren't weak
For all it's worth they were strong

Don't speak! Don't talk!
This is it
The silence they had

Be quiet.
This day is sacred
For those who died sad

You can be quiet
If only for a day
An act of kindness

We're together in this
Please be quiet
Honor the Day of Silence

Legs, arms, feet
Not quite in one piece
No on can believe what they see
Flying legs, and arms, and feet.

Who dun' it? Who dun' it?
Why'd they do it to them?
Someone confess it, admit it!
And we'll get revenge!

BOOM BOOM
They'll hear it in their dreams
The booming of explosions
Tearing them apart at the seams.

Legs, arms, feet
Not quite in one piece
No on can believe what they see
Flying legs, and arms, and feet.

I don't want to accept
That one day you won't be here
That I won't always see you
That you might not last the year

And I'll mourn you
I'll cry
I'll weep, I swear
But to me you'll never die

Whatever the case
I'll remember your face
I'll remember your words
I'll remember your place

I'll remember your smile
I'll remember your song
I'll remember the way we got along
I swear to God, I'll remember you when you're gone.

We won't talk much in the future
As we've got other places to be
I no longer crave you
You no longer need me
And deep down I'm disappointed
Because I thought we 'clicked'
In truth, you needed the comfort
And I needed the risk
And so we won't talk much in the future
As time passes we've less to say
And soon there'll be no words at all
At least, I don't think so, anyway

And to you, unlike the one above
We'll talk to each other for a long time
But we'll never mention 'love'
And we'll both regret it someday
I need you most times
And you need me the same
We 'clicked' so fast it could be a crime
And we're both stopping what could be great
I'll move away someday
And our chance will be lost
Three months can't be all we've got
At least, I don't think so, anyway

For you, whom acts just like me
My doppelgänger in the best of ways
I wish we could know each other better
I wish we had more days
We both crave greatness
But to rely on each other won't do
We must make our own success
And then we'll relearn the us we knew
I believe we'll still talk after some years
I don't think our friendship will decay
I know moving won't change much
At least, I don't think so, anyway

And for you who shares my brain
Who holds my soul, my smiles, my thoughts
I don't believe what we have
Will ever begin to rot
No matter where I go
No matter where you are
I love you with every atom I contain
W hen I'm lost you are the North Star
So don't shed a single tear
Keep me near your heart
What we have is permanent
'Till the end and since the start

He looked at me
Shook his head
Disappointed
I'd tried so long
Worked so hard
And reaped nothing
He turned form me
He walked away
So sadly
I put down my pride
And held to his legs
He shook me off
And patted my head
Resigned to the fact
I could not fetch

I'll walk down the road of eternity
My partner hand-in-hand beside me
I'll ask of his name
And he replies "Death" to me
And we continue our merry gait

As we walk slowly, I ask where he's from
He replies, "Where they all go when their time is done"
And though I know not who they are
To listen is fun
As we travel afar

Death looks at me
As he smiles quietly
He murmurs a inquiry
Asks if I had a reply
As to why walked with me
.
Confused I replied
Something of friendship
Death chuckled and shoved me down
Fear bloomed in my belly
For Death's feet did not touch the ground

It was only then
I knew my friend
Was truly the master
Of when one's time ends

And in fear I stopped
And Death smiled at me
And before I could turn back
He closed the door to reality

I'm a fair fighter
I fight to the death
I throw the carcasses
Down on my left
I always allow
My enemy to regroup
Then I defeat them
And collect my coup
They regroup slowly
I beat them fast
It's an epic battle
That never seems to last
More than a minute
For those who are tough
But there never a time
When they say enough's enough
So I ready myself
Flex my abs
Crook my finger
And pick the scab

You asked a question
And I gave a response
Not complicated at all
Yet you took so long

You came back again
Almost passed by
And asked me again
Just to "clarify"

I'm sick of waiting
I'm ready to leave
But you bring my reward
So I keep my peace

Until I realize
What's in front of me
I am more than furious
I ordered a number three.

I can't tell you how much I'm hurting
To acknowledge my pain is weakness
To share my weakness is pathetic
But I hurt, oh, I hurt

I can't tell you how much I want you to love me
Because to say it would be to jinx it
And to jinx it would be to lose you
But, by god, I wish you loved me

I can't explain how much I depend on you
Because to explain would be to trust you
And to trust you would be to make me vulnerable
But I depend on you. I really do.

I can't tell you all the little things I want you to say
Because to tell you would be to make them unoriginal
And to make them unoriginal would be to make them unsatisfactory
But I wish you would coddle me and tell me those things

I can't tell you how much I want to be yours
Because to tell you would be to give you power over me
And to give you the power would be to give you my leash
But I wish I could, and you would own me.

I can't tell you how twisted I am
Because to tell you would be to make you notice
And to make you notice would be to disgust you
But I wish you'd accept me

I can't tell you
I'm sorry for that
You've given me your trust
But I can't give it back

I can't explain
So I'll apologize
I simply don't want to be
Pathetic in your eyes

I can't confide
And I'll always feel remorse
But if I were to lose you
I'd feel much worse

I can't be who you wish me to be
So I'll keep who I really am
Under lock and key
I'll chain up my personality
So, ideally you'll see
The person you can't help but love

That person that leaves you starstruck

I'll hold back all I am
Because I am not your ideal
And your ideals are above me
So I can't let myself be real

I've shunned who I am
Because of who you are
I am bitter and angry
But you'll never see my scars

I want to let you closer
I want to try my luck
But deep down I know
I'm not who leaves you *starstruck

To you I am the quiet one
I barely say a word
I am unobtrusive and reserved
Never insisting to be heard

To them I am loud
Opinionated and strong
With a laugh loud and boisterous
And a smile that's never gone

To her I am hateful
And though, personally, we've not met
She hates me, can't stand me
The sight of me fills her with upset

To him I am beautiful
To him I am ugly
To him I am mother
How do you see me

I am what you believe
I am what you see
I am that girl who is
All you think me to be

In this marathon, I'll always win
But I'll never claim the prize
As once I have the trophy
It no longer interests my eyes

In this marathon I shouldn't run
Because I won't treasure my success
I'll gain the prize, win first place
And give it to the rest

In this marathon where you are the trophy
And I give unrelenting chase
Until you finally give in and love me
So I can finally walk away

In this marathon I'm running
The prize is not my goal
I simply love the thrill of the chase
And then the passion runs cold

In this marathon I'm running
I'll do anything to win
But once I do it's over
And I'll find a new chase to begin

So please don't take it personally
When I leave after the race
And learn from now on
Not to trust someone so fake

With a smile on her face
She hates
And wishes them all to die

With a tear and a frown
He cries
But truly feels no pain inside

With a chuckle of mirth
She hugs
But the words fester and leave a mark

With a harsh bark and unkind words
He attacks
Just to protect his heart

The faces we wear in public
A lie covering what we feel
The disguises we use to protect ourselves
Never showing what is real

You'll never admit
Just how soft you are inside
How you'll always help those in need
You'll never, never confide

But I don't need your words
To see past your tough facade
As every action you make proves me right
And I'm filled with awe

You are kind beyond words
Sweet beyond needs
Humble beyond shyness
Fair in your deeds

And when you ask why I chuckle
I'll always say
No matter how you hide it
You're such a tsundere

*Tsundere:  character development process that describes a person who is initially cold and even hostile towards another person before gradually showing his or her warm side over time

I wake as your  friend                                     You wake as my lover
I speak as your lover                                       You speak as my friend
I act as your possession                                   You are my possesion
I rebel as your cover                                        A means to an end
I hurt for your compassion                             You live for my acceptance
I injure for your respect                                  Though it's never been withheld
I confide for your emotion                              You crave my direction
I give and you collect                                      Never will you rebel

This is madness                                               This is Sparta
This is insanity                                                This is the price of exellence
I can't be everything for you                          I am your everything
You can't be everything for me                     I am magnificence
You treat everyone the same                         I am fair and righteous
As a friend, yet as a lover                              And yet you seek more
And it's a cruel, cruel game                          Dare you grow capricious
From your twisted love, no one recovers     You'll become one I abhor

I am done                                                       You are confused
(I am never done)                                          And I will not calm you
I am sick                                                        As I am amused
(But I'm not tired)                                         As I drop little clues  
I will run                                                        You'l­l never leave me
(I won't run)                                                  But I'll abandon you
Because I love you                                        You'll always need me
(A better word is 'desire')                             And I'll never need you

Let me go!                                                    My grip is vice-like
(But you're not holding me)                       I'm not ready to let you go
Bring me back!                                            If I lose you, 'my dear'
(But I never left)                                          I must find yet another 'beau'
Love me only!                                             And I've not the time to put effort
(But you love equally)                               In little minions like you
Push me away!                                          I've not a care to give for
(Or bridge this rift)                                    You insects I never knew

Please, disappear                                       I am your torture
One day you'll understand                      But I am your salvation
That the twisted way you love                 I am your executioner
Could coax death from any human        And I am your redemption
Please, disappear!                                     You'll wish me dead forever
Though I'll weep when you're gone        You'll wish me dead I know
I know sanity will return                          And you'll wish yourself deader
And I'll eventually move on.                    *When away I finally go.

Your legs are shaking
And yet you stand
And when you fall
You try again
I can't help
This smile on my face
As your small mouth opens
Says my name
"Mommy." You say
The name you've given me
And a small tear falls
I am so happy.

I ****** away
The knife in your hand
And you begin to cry
As I've betrayed you again

"How much longer?"
You'll always ask
"How much longer?"
And I answer, though this won't be the last:

Just a little longer
Maybe one day I won't stop you
Just a little longer
But for now I can't lose you

I turn off the water
Breathe air into your lungs
And your eyes are accusing
Because I've always won

"How much longer?"
You're screaming
"How much longer?"
Tears streaming, and I say

Just a little longer
What if this feeling fades
Just a little longer
And you want to live someday?

Not yet
Not yet
Not yet!

I wasn't there to save you
If you'd waited just a little longer
You'd still be here
And secretly I wish you'd been stronger

She is radiant
Strong and loyal
And I fear for her
Because the good don't last

Chopped down for the 'greater good'
The best of people flicker out of this world
'Please stay' I beg
But she is set
Her will must be done

She is the queen of this palace
And I am but a guard
Dearest Queen, I've felt the lumberjack's axe
And I shiver at the memories
And I lose myself

Why must you put yourself in his path?
Why do you taunt him to chop you down?
He is cold and unfeeling
His axe will swing
And down you will go

Should you fall, I will too
And I will lose myself in the knowledge
That I could not protect you
Because I am a peasant
And you are the Queen
Your will is law

I am scared
I am so scared
It is hard to breathe
As my mind supplies all the ways
Your plan could go wrong

Please, dear Queen
Spare me the knowledge of your plots
Because I am weak
And I am prone to break

Lately I am prone to break
And my mind is not okay
So please spare me
Until I have healed
And I will chuckle at your deviousness
Once again.

the cool pressure of the deep
presses down around her
the fish are her friends
the water is her home
beautiful princess
who lives in the sea
not quite alien
but new to humanity
naive and reckless
she swims so free
may she never be touched
by earth's depravity
innocent and loving
she swims away
and she will return again
every single day
she'll frolic, she'll play
until the sun leads her away
beautiful princess
who lives for the day

Crimson and thick
Down my fingertips
With a coppery smell
Drip, drip

Oops, oops
I cut to deep
Oops, Oops
I bleed

Mommy, go away
I don't need your help; not today
I know I hurt myself
Go away, go away

Oops, Oops
I'm fading, can't see
Oops, Oops
I bleed