Depression is the quietest burglar,
you don't ever hear him breaking in.
We've become so acquainted
He comes over and rings the bell
& ironically I happily let him in.

After graduation i started thinking
about how they're still drinking, anything we wear they're probably still squinting
I guess when all those jokes surfaced, pain was pushed down
my hometown is populated by expired clowns,
they're sinking
Should I feel pain for watching them drown?
Should I jump in?
Rather not ruin my cap & gown.
Apologies Lord, I hate those that talk down on the less fortunate
Life is the ultimate game, they almost made me forfeit.
Self esteem broken, faith shook.
Hated my look, should i turn crook?
Jack in the water, I couldn't get on board luckily God sent me four books.
Scholarship got me in the door, work ethic got me in the room.
I'll come home, just so you squint at me again, I assume.
Look at this foreign car, this suit came with no lint.
Squint at my teeth, they're so clean I could drink water from flint.
Bullying, is evil. What else can we call it?
Luckily prayer is more powerful than the wallet.
8th grade you called me lame, I bet you're still a partier a?
They called me names, I bought my mom Cartier rings today.
We all have monsters within,
They were monsters from the root.
Congrats to me? No congrats to you,
That's great, I always heard the Devil had workers too.
To chastise is a cold dish, this is not how I'm supposed to be.
But when tables turn, somebody's gotta eat.
I'll take the ****** sentence, for what I'm passionate about.
Life is like sending out mislabeled mail, you get back what you sent out.

My friends always come to me, I'm so often playing therapist.
It's life, we all have em, no problem should ever be embarrassing.
So you'll have to forgive me I might be single until I'm 50.
If I get depressed so many people miss me so I don't have the time to waste with someone acting iffy.
Talking about internships and aspirations with friends I'd give a kidney
Seeing the good ones some of you cheat on, you people have to be kidding.
Loyalty's no longer a discussion.
With my generation I'm digusted.
Every month I gain an enemy and lose a cousin.
People treat me differently ever since I became something.
& on top of that how am I ever supposed to look at my lady? And say "baby lets have a baby" when black babies are dropping dead in my cities, this life is crazy.
I don't know if talking about it helps.
This the stuff that's on my mind, I usually just keep it to myself.

Last night I heard the Devil talking in my head.

He said it's an emergency.
Said he had some words for me.
He told me when the wicked speak, it's his breath that projects their frosty voices.
That everytime I've lost someone, he was the advisory behind their fatal choices.
He told me he generously opens wallets, doors, legs, we shouldn't go through.
That we do exactly what he desires us to do.
& Everytime we set that fire to our souls,
He gets high off the smoke.
Maybe you don't believe in God & you're reading this thinking, man he's so dumb.
& although I respect anyone's beliefs, can you just answer me this, where else would the evil come from?
A child doesn't seek to cause pain, to deceive, lie, or steal, they learn it from us after awhile.
& if there's no Devil, no origin of evil, how'd it get here? Who taught the first child?
These questions deteriate my mind. So maybe it's me, Being a good person is out of style, I'm the only one that seems to have the nerve.
Funny, we say we Love God but we lie more than truth. Hurt more than heal. Steal more than give. If we're doing all the things the Devil wants us to do, then who do we really serve?

My cousin has threw his life away, I whept heavily because maybe it's partly my fault, & although I said for him to do better, my voice was soft as powder.

The Devil doesn't whisper, he doesn't stop speaking, & we must yell our love to the ones we love because right now he's talking louder.

**I hear him.

When i look at you i still envision the rest of my life.
& nothing has changed because of the pain i feel at night.
i won’t say mean things, i won’t leave, i don’t ever want to cause you pain.
I’m so scared if i ever hurt you in any way, you’ll never look at me the same.
i want to spend all my time with you when my weeks end, I’ll drive 4 hours back and forth any weekend, this is a test that will make us stronger, we will prevail and relinquish the weak ends.
When i look at the spaces in my hand i know your fingers belong there.
Anything said bad about you, to me, is a voice aimed toward the wrong ears.
i pray the Lord blesses us with many long years.
Scrolling through Chris brown’s album and you come to mind during all the songs here.
i won’t give up on you, if you don’t give up on me cause I️m hurting, Images in my head make me cry sometimes, & i feel so insecure now.
i feel alone, i can’t talk to my friends about I­t­ so my heart feels so unsure right now.
i don’t want them to judge you, i don’t want them to choose not to love you some day.
i love your friends like my own because they’re the ones that keep you happy when im away.
i guess In the end all that matters is i want Ali, i want to be with you.
My father always told me a great quote, “the only way out, is the way through.”

Either way, I’m happy I­t­ became us, “them”, we.
You are without a doubt one of the best things to ever happen to me.

Suns descend, Moons rise & the moment my chamber becomes dark I'm again trapped in this puzzling, and tormenting box.
My wrists hand cuffed and bound by my insecurities & questions I won't accept the answer to, unable to sleep at night I'm always policed by my own thoughts.
Statements that once seemed so true are interrogated by my lack of trust & begin to sweat drops of lies and betrayal.
My goals are set in the horizon of a seemingly endless hallway and I find myself kneeling, sheltering my ears from the terrorising sounds of people hoping for me to fail.
A raging tycoon sweeps through my mental hamlet & I always just want you to hear the storm, for you to know your own storms are not uncommon, that you can trust me, or you should.
But you don't care to listen to me let alone trust me enough to let me comfort you with your own aches and Demons whisper me to me "you're unworthy, for her you're just no good."
I would love to go to sleep imagining perfection, A fairytale world where my goals aren't far away, & we have conversations where trust and comfort is abundant to where there aren't any problems to be relevant.
But sadly, my mind doesn't operate that way. Doubts in my mind tell me I'm not good enough, I'm not close enough, doubts enforced by my own logic & I seem doomed to serve a life sentence in a dungeon composed of my own thoughts, a prisoner of my own intelligence.

I use to ponder why so much pain for me Lord?
Now, today, I think I finally comprehend.
My band aids are symbols of survival.
My pain silences cries of Death & plays a cheerful symphony with the essence of revival.
Look in my soul and see my pain.
See my retries & see my faith. Find the sunshine In my rains.
You can either use your distress, or waste it.

Recycled tears -Dash Pinder

Far too often they tell us we need to learn to be alone.
As if we haven't spent countless hours haunted by our own thoughts in motionless homes.
We know how to be & if we need to we can.
But there are things in life that are simply better when you're holding a hand.
Yes, the movie is good either way but it's amplified seeing their reaction next to yours.
The recipe doesn't change because they're there but the food somehow tastes better hearing their fork.
At first it was all selfish but we pray for them too so now we never forget to drop to our knees.
It was a good workout alone but with them you burned a few extra calories.
Yes we know how to be alone but we'll choose to hold a hand any day.
& honestly, God is always with us, we can never truly be alone any way.

Bright ideas but I like my room dark, So when I start thinking I disturb my own comfort zone.

Do your emotions party? Like days they just decide to all meet up in your mind to dance?

This might end up being One of the expressions of my puzzled soul that comes off quite hard to understand

But then again, Life' s hard to understand. Simply amazing reflecting on the things I've been able to With stand.

To repeatedly flicker off the rains I stand under without anyone to stand with & keep faith that it's all part of a plan.

On any evening without invite, my emotions show up and dance. They slide and prance, & the ruckus from their foxtrot transforms to words that escape through my hands.

Words to script & they proceed to dance, and maybe one day I'll be dancing with them if I'm ever gifted the chance.

If not, it's okay, there has to be more to life than Romance, right?

Things that are more captivating than a bewitching glance, exceeding the rush of pulling down pants, some alternate force that can also add a bounce to my stance at night.

They tell us soul mates aren't fiction, that some day we'll all say "I do" & drown out cheering applause while we grasp that mate on marble floors doing the salsa.

Laughable, there couldn't be anything falser.

**I know I'll be dancing alone.

I wonder is thinking about my past obsession my new obsession.
Have you ever wanted to eternally hold someone down, hold them down, stay down, like some type of romantic oppression.
My expressions, she Questions, Lectures me about moving faster than the class, seems loving someone too soon is today's lesson.
See I was just trying to appreciate a blessing, Appreciated it so heavily in fact, i began stressing.
Have you ever gotten something so good, the day it arrived you had already began dreading the day it would leave?
It's like getting the throne and not appreciating the throne, just resenting the fact one day there has to be another Queen.
You can treat good things to well when you're used to washing in pain, shampooing in secrets, and using tears as a rinse.
I think this is the reason why in my Heart she had the throne, she was my Queen before I was even her prince.
Lose your Queen and you're just a Jack, with no way to become a King, no way to ascend, no way to bridge that gap.
So I try fill the space with Jokers, 9s, and 10s even but beauty doesn't Equate strength, & every time I walk a bridge composed of attraction and pleasure my path is sure to collapse.
I'm on a Plane to Oregon & as I wait I realized I was becoming anxious, I'm headed toward a dream, and I'm impatient, rushing the moment rather than taking it all in.
This is when it finally dawned on me that no matter how big a lead i have, I will always have to wait until the fourth quarter to see who truly wins.
Sometimes when you're blessed with someone you have to be patient enough to let the buzzer sound, for your blessing to realize that you yourself are a blessing too.
The most Amazing and beautiful things in life are so fragile because they are life themselves, Admire but don't obsess, touch but don't capture, stand close but not too close, even a fish needs breathing room.

"Premises of a Loss" -Tadashi Pinder

Faith. Hope. Life. Joy. Simple.
All of the things that claim in the Lord's temple.
Rather than excitement, I'm consumed by speculation as I walk through these church doors.
Maybe big time temples get away from the main point, from what's right? Strange that the most famous person here is not the Lord.

Motivation & ambition will lead you to ascend to levels where you're put around guys that are handed things you earn & the women are far to pretentious.

False salvation, better circumstances often lead to worse people, more obstacles, & being enveloped by spirits heavily tainted by blood of the innocent & the witness.

Oil simply doesn't mix with water, in this same concept genuine and artificial will never blend.

So your mind don't lose, everyone hates to lose, but it's a disguised victory if you ever lose a pretend friend with impertinent ends.

Tell the young boys flaws equate to reality & organic Love. Beware the Barbie dolls with perfect smiles that aquire happiness by spitting on and walking over the less fortunate.

But who am I to stop them from seeing for themselves? Who am I to stop them from seeing these girls on TV, working hard to get here, to get them, & realize their values you just can't override & soon your unconsciously forcing it

Perfection by definition is irrational to exist in the flesh but yet that's what she fancies herself, from physical appearance, intellect, to how she Loves.

All these "perfections" glamorized to hide the flaws she knows exist. Ms. Perfect Is that perfect Trust?

Tell me Ms. Perfect, Ms. Mommy's money, how are you so much better than us?

The value of a person runs much deeper than attractions, far beyond the material things, & I feel by now you've seen this, your last man cheated on you, probably with someone who embraces their imperfections, guess you weren't  "perfect" enough.

Ouch, I know you felt that just now. Low blow I know & you have the audacity to ask "why?"

In your mind someone like myself is so below you, it's kind of impossible for me to hit you up high.

When life gives you Lemons be thankful because nobody in life is going to give you anything, not even lemons.

I couldn't point to the reason that you consume my thoughts when the sun goes down.

So mysterious is my desire to have your time, regardless if it's genuine return of interest or just the run around.

Your smile, that smile, precisely resembles the overwhelment of staring at waters so crystal clear the blurriest of views shutter no longer.

Your laugh, your voice, so tranquil my legs lose their brawn, my voice cowards behind my amazement & I feel my joy flourish stronger

I just thought you should know that you amaze me. That my eyes become frustratingly fatigue when I try to see the flaws you claim to have, those absent flaws no one else can see.

I just thought you should know, friend, or more. Whether we're sharing laughs or beds. Your uniqueness is eternal, your beauty goes unparalleled, and no matter what we ever are, you're surely a blessing to me.

Everyone should have a friend as prodigious as you atleast once in their lifetime, & I can see the pain you hold back from those who let you go unknowingly discharging a gift.

When ever you need a chest made pillow, a patient hand to dry tears, or just ears that don't judge and understand the language of scars; I will be ready to use the strength you give me to give your spirits a lift.

Sins stack to compose the guest list.

Constantly attending Numbed parties because mistakes, tears, and guilt, aren't easy things to rest with.

Demons

Mysteries of life, like the desire to be Prince Charming, like that princess that wants to be his perfect woman.

What we desire to be can never be realized, Perfection can never be paralleled, How do you not hurt yourself or them but still be human?

Demons with me

We all Lock skeletons away, is to hide our past & our mistakes deceit? Haunted by the past, when I do right I hear them laughing.

I am now what you deserve. The chamber to my past never open or you'll bare witness to pain, selfishness, & highs that are never lasting. A ball room drenched in regret  & we farce carelessly laughing.

Demons with me Dancing

I can never say that I picture us, does a picture really say a thousand things?

If so I'll dip a paint brush into the depths of my heart and paint a scene.

An alluring scene with a blank inspiring sky and tall firm translucent trees.

A picture showing the one thousand words I can't gather the courage to say and hope you look at this blank print & somehow know what I mean.

The best meals take awhile, so here I wait, & when the tables turn I will have earned my seat & my plate. Wow, ain't fate great. Just, wait.

My phone memory is exhausted, the database is so full yet it's so empty.
Maturity turns more to less & loneliness stems from plenty.
You'll count up to two, eight, fourteen, twenty.
Then you look up to a crowded room of meaningless people & see no one, lord where have you sent me?
A path of numerals is not a pleasant walk.
All these texts, all these calls & conversations but lack of substance equates deafness, I can no longer hear them talk.
Gosh, I can't erase this chalk.
How I wish to throw water on my blackboard and fast forward, I must repel & balk.

The warmth is coming, the chills are leaving.

Summer, summer on the way, this has always been my glorified season.

& although times can be deceiving, there are few things I ever feel I'm needing but that season is undoubtedly why my heart is beating.

With the months of June, July, and August I've made mistakes, had bad days, and on some of those warm days I've been completely bested.

But trials make for success, mistakes generate growth, and you can't expect to get a good grade without first being tested.

Class is out, and summer is session, I've passed the finals and greatly cherish the lessons, seems like I've been in winter my whole life, summer is my blessing.

Other seasons come along. Spring and fall but I feel no joy in the duration of them all, if it's not summer I find myself feeling sad still.

Like in March I still have that bad feel,  in April it's like I'm at a stand still, headaches three quarters of the year, Summer's my only Advil.

Life is full of lessons, full of struggles, obstacles, pains, and occurrences for which we sometimes never discover the true reason.

One day in my dream my Dad said "see son, see the sun" and I fell in love with a season.

The hate I have for my past and what she did occupies that space and erases chances.
After pain we're approached by chances and opportunities but our old tears drown out advances.
I know, you don't want to be stagnant, you don't want to settle but you can't spend life's precious days running.
It's supposed to be there. Your past, it's supposed to be there & you won't ever let go until you grab onto something.
A career? A sport, hobby, child? A divine power from up above?
I don't know, but you just have to find something else to love because you were meant to love.
A romantic heart can never truly be empty, it will either be occupied by unwelcomed pain or optimistic happiness depending on what you stand for.
The good news is you choose, no matter who hurts you, you choose to be happy or let the pain stay, you're your heart's own land lord.

I have faith even if I never hear a voice.
I know he controls my life because my life is controlled by things that weren't my choice.
I didn't pick this skin but I'm in it.
Life is a game & to win it?
I have to walk by the father & bleed until I'm superior, until my mind is sharper.
God sought to challenge me by making my skin darker.
How can you look at me and hate me because I'm a darker shade?
It's like fussing at your date for your food being wrong when they had nothing to do with how things were made.
Take that hate up with my lord.
I'll still love & pray for you because eternity isn't something I can afford.

When I write I like music with the voice soft
A dark room where only my thoughts are bright
A pen composed of memories & ache
A notepad with endless opportunity
I poor my emotions onto a poetic canvas & anyone who reads always ponders "how did he sculpt this type of art with the lights off?"

God told me that I had to change.
I promised them I would stay the same & I didn't.
It used to be Love now to my name they send spit.
I Apologize but I'm no longer that negative person you were such good friends with.

The scripture said I had to change.
I promised them that I would stay the same,
I didn't.
A sherif on my own life's road.
Trying to keep myself from routes I've already drove.
Sometimes finding a hand to hold opposite the steering wheel seems like my only hope.
Just trying to find a way to show all the things that I know.
I've been trying to lighten up the load, tighten up control.
These missing things I'm asking for, prayer is like ointment to the sores, I just need to know you.
The Devil uses my success to open doors that I shouldn't go through.
You were the air I breathe you walked away & forced me to choke.
If I set fire to my soul, will you even see the smoke?

Emotions are like children.
If you keep them prisoner inside, They will find their own way out.
You can ground them but they'll sneak out.
Or you'll keep them inside so long they'll grow so old that you have no choice but to watch them leave the nest unprepared for the world.
So, might as well let them be free.

looking for revenge.
Seems revenge found me.
All this punishment I gave out.
Then something came to ground me.
an eye for an eye leaves an even picture.
On one side cuts the other side stabs.
In life we're waiters and customers.
Give out the order and you'll pay the tab.

I lay, in beds made for me by the Lord
I pray, when all the dreams are gone & the ship has sailed all my friends are on board.
I go, to graveyards & feel alive rather than sad.
I know, I'm living because God has my Dad.
White girls, fall in Love with my black soul.
The world, previously falsely convinced her my skin was cold.
A lie, it's burning as I put on vivid displays of word play.
I buy, a switch blade with a little switch to switch blades and switch from a six to a sixteen inch blade.
The best poet alive killed himself today.

One day you'll escape gravity
You know, when you jump that thing that snatches you back rapidly?
But be careful when you're in the air
You'll hate what you find there
"Yes, of course, your house? Yeah."
Things they whisper in my ear.
Get yours & get gone.
That's nice & she's fine, so what's wrong?
Money brings troubles & they won't leave me alone.  
During *** you'll feel alone,
You'll realize you've grown when it dawns on you her beauty can't turn a house to a home.
Evenings turned to Hennights
It's been a while since I was denied.
Went to sleep alive, just to wake up in my dreams have me & all my friends died?
Oh Lord how I've arrived.
The sky's the limit but achievements cause cavities.
Privilege isn't power, it's the absence of gravity.
Nothing holding you down.
But when you're floating, when everything is floating, it's easy to lose your crown.
I took my ego & drowned it.
Gravity holds you back but it also keeps you grounded.

Souls that don't ache are always advising that we simply "open up more."
There's not a single band-aid on your body, how could you know what's it's like to fear love sores?
I do, so I cower in my shell, well my eyes shut, and slam, lock, blockade all doors.
But of course, it never really helps. New love sneaks in through the window cracks & the tears ooze their way out through my skin's pores.

Today I heard the Devil talking in my head, he said it's an emergency.
Said he had some words for me.

"The success you've tasted will remain a taste, a tease of the meal you desire.
You failed today & im sending more failures until your soul yearns to retire.
She'll leave you just like the last one & you'll once again slumber in a depression smogged by those burning tires.
You'll stare at your wheels eradicated & let that be to you a learning fire.
That any joy I will ******, I will turn any source of happiness against you with the pleasures of the world.
So don't get to attached to those milestones, never cherish that praise, don't love that girl."

Seems like everything I allow myself to believe is finally something good for me ends up being touched by grim.
Sometimes things I pray for appear & it's terrifying because I can't tell if it's God or him.
See when you're already at your lowest why would the devil bother you in the dirt for?
He uses illusions to lift you up, when you fall from happiness it just hurts more.

I feel like one day I'll be the best Poet Alive.
Strange because the best Poet is never alive.
Why is it we're only appreciate after we've died?

Blessings are blessings but some are just more significant than the others, some we just won't ever deserve.

When I saw her I knew it was one of those blessings, I saw the lord in her eyes & the sight temporarily froze my nerves.

Having her fingers fill the spaces between mine while I drive feels like having my dreams in my palms.

Do you know what is feels like to be scared because you feel safe? Imagine having your heart pounding when you've never been more calm.

I would say I'm going to trip, I'm probably going to fall, but when she lays in my arms it's like I'm on the floor already.

If the day ever comes when you decide to say you're mines just know I'm yours already.

In a generation full of questions and worries it's like striking oil the rarity of finding someone you know deep down you can trust for certain.

Having you in my life has showed me that when you care about someone it's like going to the dog pound, You look forward to showing them better while you hate who ever hurt them.

If you walk in my room you'll see candles, flames burning next bibles.  
An accurate symbolization of my life, destruction so close to survival .
They say that the messiah is coming, will you run to or from at the sight of his arrival?  
Our people have become so obsessed with being out front they've forgotten, to lead you must first be a disciple.

‪I grew up locked up in hell, I found out hard work was the key.
Spent most of life watching the Devil constantly scoring on me.
But now me and God on offense, time for Satan to play the D.
Situations in life can start bad but I like my chances in quarter 3.
Ooo, optimism will always be apart of me.
Can't shake me, can't wash me, I'm a harder flea.
I prayed for one blessing he must've thought I ordered 3.
I'm living life with no umbrella, all this water on me.
College grad, now these women sweating me like I'm a smarter Keith. ‬

I can't cough, I can't blow, the air it just doesn't work in here anymore.
For you I fall and fall and fall which is strange cause my life is usually one of many floors.
Miles feel like inches when I'm coming to see you & flights feel like walks when I have to leave.
My senses are twisted, love is all i taste, music is all I see, beauty is all I hear and I can't breathe.
Please never ache, never crack a frown.
I can't bare to see you cry ever again, in those tears I just drown and drown.
Choking. Choking. Every time you touch me I suffocate, who knew this is what happiness would be like?
You'll know you've found the one when you have to hold your breath for the rest of your life.

I wrote this in Five minutes because I've thought about you long enough to know what I want to say.

You might feel like no one understands but I've felt anquish to, I've seen effort turn invisible to, & I understand why you walk that way.

Skies you intended for sunshine fall victim to games and tearful lies. You find out things that feel like lightening through your heart and that pain has torn you.

Just thought I'd inform you, you're not a lone survivor for I've been in that storm to.

I myself have made it out but if you've ever been in a storm you know it's meaningless to be safe unless you know the people you care for are warm to.

When you make it out remember effort is a prerequisite to be worthy so even though your heart is the greatest gift worthy is the one who takes the initiative to steal it.

So I take my emotions and think of the most powerful actions to reveal it because words are just words until someone else feels it.

The best feelings are the ones that have mystery.
I've become addicted to wondering if you're missing me.
I don't know why you came into my life.
I don't know why you left.
With us anything can happen, any turn can be made.
One day it hurts , one day it feels so good.
But, I just love, Not knowing.

Starting to believe I wasn't I meant for loving.

Everyone I care for, the emotion ends up being evicted & the population reduced to nothing

I sit the ones that love me on a slide and push until they can't hold on or sit any longer.

I see the ones I love at the bottom of hopeful slides & fall irresponsibly, faster and faster, the feeling getting stronger and stronger.

Now here I am again, loving another, loving you, & you don't want that, another smile I must part ways with.

I sit on a playground, laying in a sand box of my hearts sediments dampened by my tears, can't believe it took me this long to realize Love probably isn't the best thing to play with.

I feel like spring, I feel like that's my life's reason.

You know? Like how they say some people are only in your life for the time being?

I'm a season, I'm clarification for what ever they aren't seeing.

Everybody hates winter but once they've made it to summer they forget to appreciate spring.

Why is it the person who is considered the best ever, is never alive?
We're not truly appreciated until after we've died.

so close in distance.
Hearts so far away.
imperfections & chasing, I miss it.
Stars I wish on begin to shine grey.

Loud cries you'll never hear.
You hate me & I hate your gone.
The Sound dies and you're never here.
I can't fight any longer, you've won.

Whats good news without your cheers & laughter?
Nothing. Just good days with restless nights.
You pray & I pray that I'm allowed to be your prayers answer.
I've lost my essence, a naked spruce that's been snatched of it's Christmas lights.

I always thought you were to amazing to end up with me,

I just hoped still.

But it's not time spilled.

Just a cup half filled.

always send extra prayers to the people engulfed in struggles, people who's status doesn't show that they work so hard.
For I know so well the feeling of faith depleting struggles, pain that makes you interrogate life, & trials that make the weak plead there is no God.
Believe me when I say a life, a person, with more valuable things does not give that life more value than the one you posses.
I've laid in a house with two parents and 7 brothers where there weren't enough beds to rest, over time some died, some left, insurance money gets a bigger house & inside it seems like we have less.
For a home is not appraised by the value of the structure, but the Love inside.
So don't be in a rush to fit in with the rich kids. Not  to say they're all negative spirits but sometimes money can make people forget that true Friendship is the most expensive ride.
For the Bible says if it fails it wasn't Love & the evidence of false Love based on earthly standards is all around us, look at celebrity relationship perhaps.
Celebrities dating celebrities & rarely regular people. It never works because a false love relying on money, fame, and status as its base isn't true and is always sure to collapse.
Guess in life, or At least how I see it, when I'm struggling the people around me are so genuine & the more successful I become the more people want to take and no one wants to give.
In the beginning was flesh and elements, family and fellowship, status was non-existent and Love was the only currency we needed to live.

Father I Love you dearly with all my heart.

Its like I can never stop, everyday is another mistake, another imperfection. Another start.

Forgive me Again.

Hallucinogens ingested to my flesh for reasons I couldn't name & the higher I become the further I feel away from you.

Meaningless flings are selected for evenings one in the same & I dive into eternal fires for pleasures only to hope you'll bring me through.

Forgive me Again.

I couldn't tell you why I make these mistakes but the ones with the heaviest burdens are the ones that bring harm to another temple other than my own.

But then again it is not mines to own. I am yours, & she is yours, they are yours, & I know there's no way to retrieve that pain from the mind of your child once she's hurt and gone.

Forgive me Again.

even through past suffering with tears in my eyes I could see this coming.
These aches on my plate, you can always relate, check the dictionary it's gotta mean something.
Your heart hurts, mine does to, & although many people go through this it seems like it's just us two.
We're both in a position where we can only trust few, looking for the good in people there isn't much to, look in my eyes & tell me is it a just view?
Today the pain didn't get to me as if having a conversation with you was God defending me.
Maybe the Lord cried in that river, there's gotta be something in the water from Tennessee.