So you want to go back to the morning
when we were crawling on all fours.
This afternoon is burning you
and you're not looking forward to more.
You ask what promise is there in evening
besides the setting of the sun?
Well, that's when we will pack our dreams
and go back to wherever we're from.
And maybe we'll find a new day,
and we'll wake up feeling grand.
Who really knows, and who can say?
And who cares? Just take a stand!

It's said discretion is the better part of valor,
so choose to focus on the stuff that really matters.
We're only ever given just this moment, aren't we?
No promise of another after.
But I can tell you that I think it's **** well worth it
to love and to be hopeful and to try in earnest.
Don't spend so much time fretting for the future, darling;
uncertainty is always certain.


When life feels like it's only lemons,
and there's a sour taste in your soul,
get a grip and take a sip;
acceptance is best enjoyed cold.
There's nothing that the world can dish out
that you can't overcome
by digging in your tired feet
and refusing to be undone.
You know that there's hope of a new day,
of waking up feeling grand.
Who really knows, and who can say?
And who cares? Just take a stand!

You were taught to hurry,
you were taught to fear.
You were given worry,
and you were given tears.
But I think that the very best of life
is when you learn to unlearn
the foolish things that bring you strife.
They're none of your concern.

Blacking out and feeling giddy,
but always waking up
quite a bit less pretty
than we were the night before
But we were cool and we were flying
Man, we couldn't get enough
as we kept the fear of dying
off our drunk and tangled tongues

The only promise that we had
was the headache in the morning
You can say that we were foolish
but you can't say we were boring
Time and time again
we tried to justify our sin
Saying live it up 'cause life is short
Let's party to the end
But life turned out to be
A little longer than we thought
and after all the money spent
no dignity was bought
You may see me smile
but inside all the while
I know that my reverie
is nothing more than crooked memory

The sun sits just below the trees,
giving them a subtle crown
Another day lost over thinking
true joy we never found
The laughter never lasted
and the music always died,
but the regret every morning
was a thing that never lied.


Say what you want
about 20/20 hindsight
But even now
I sort of miss
those endless, desperate nights

Where are all those sparks
that enlivened our eyes
back when our words were tender
and our touches desperate?
What happens to your heart
when you hear songs from our nights?
Do dreams or nightmares rule your sleep?
Do you even sleep?
I find it difficult without the warmth of you.
But comfort is in my ago,
that vague time colored by optimism
and a bad brain.

Some nights my mind is restless
and I'll wake up feeling drained.
Although I hate it when this happens,
last night I dreamt of you again.
I know it's pointless to linger on
what was and might have been.
Our time was just a winter sun -
golden sweet and sure to end.

How are dreams so accurate?
It's wild, how true they capture it -
this little thing that eats at me,
my constant, secret shame.
If our deeds are louder than our words,
and words just serve to reaffirm,
then, on my life, I don't know why
all I can hear today
are the words you wouldn't say.

Remember how we used to drive
down quiet, lonesome roads
because we only felt the world was right
when we were free and all alone?
Choked off behind your perfect lips,
but suggested by your laugh,
was an answer you would never give
to something I would never ask.

It was subtle, only hinted at,
that thing that burned us both.
But in the air between us sat
the truth I needed most.
They never came, I never heard
those simple, insufficient words.
And still today I feel the weight
of what you'd never say.

If your later years give trouble
and heavy clouds have covered all
the memories you thought you'd never lose
If you forget the way you held me
when I was small and screaming
seemed to be the only thing that I could do

If summers past grow hazy
and you forget the brutal days
spent watching me play baseball in the sun
If you forget my graduation
or the days my kids were born
If you lose their names and faces one by one

I will still remember all you are
I will tenderly remind you
what you mean to me
My words and hands will never be too far
I will stand right there beside you
I will help you see
And though the stars may hide from sight
in the evening of your life
I'll always know that you are why I'm me
I love you, mom

If you find you can't remember
my first date or last December
If you find yourself lost in and out of time
I'll hope that somewhere deep
your mind will let you keep
the knowledge that you've made my life so bright

I will still remember all you are
I will tenderly remind you
what you mean to me
My words and hands will never be too far
I will stand right there beside you
I will help you see
And though the stars may hide from sight
in the evening of your life
I'll always know that you are why I'm me
I love you, mom

But if ever you forget
the times I lost my head
and took all of my anger out on you
If you forget feeling unwanted
or belittled and forgotten
For that I would be happiest for you

I will still remember all you are
I will tenderly remind you
what you mean to me
My words and hands will never be too far
I will stand right there beside you
I will help you see
And though the stars may hide from sight
in the evening of your life
I'll always know that you are why I'm me
I love you, mom

I will remember, I'll remind you
Hold your hand and dry your cheek
When you feel lost I will guide you
The way you always did for me

Don't shut me out
I need to know that you're okay
especially when you feel like the world isn't welcoming you
You have my love
so never be too afraid
to ask me hard questions when your brain isn't answering true

Oh, my child
For a while
your honest smile
has been hiding
Let me share
the cross you bear
The weight isn't fair
There's no denying
You've struggled and you've strained
and the battle has you feeling drained
But look at all the ground you've gained
Keep fighting

When there are storms
and the rain is falling from your eyes
use it to water the garden inside you you're trying to grow
Then when you can
rise through the clouds to sunny skies
and use these moments of warmth to find the You you're dying to know

Mile after mile and through every trial
I'll find the way with you
Because I have faith in you
Keep fighting

A choice to make
Will you roll the dice
Take a leap of faith
to see if you can fly
Or keep your head down
and stay in line
If you're too scared to make a sound
Then they'll make up your mind

The doubt within you is gripping your bones
leaving you unable to decide on your own
Is there light beyond the curtain
You may be uncertain
but don't let your worry turn you to stone

Never do just what they tell you
They think that they know better
They only know how nervous
they can make you some days
You should let the *******
drown in their disaster
while you keep yourself
far away

Will you believe
in yourself enough
to regain your feet
after they've tripped you up
It's an uphill battle
but at the top
you'll look out from your castle
and be glad you never stopped

Not every setback was a cause for concern
A ****-up wasn't failure if it helped you learn
Even when you felt like fainting
something kept on saying
Your strength is born from pain you didn't earn

You're older than you've ever been
But you'll never be this young again
Who gives a ****, all mirrors ****
You're riding high
Your life was made for music
and you know what you're doing
Rev the crowd, let's get loud
While we're alive

Music Man
the hourglass keeps losing sand
and the less there is, the heavier the load
Music Man
the magic music from your hands
takes the heart of lead and turns it into gold

Old routines for brand new shows
Stage man says its time to go
Pour a cup, then drink it up
and grab your hat
Crowd is strapped in for the ride
You're breaking through to the other side
Time has come, we hear the drum
No turning back

Music Man
through dark times and troubled lands
all that you create lights the way back home
Music Man
We all hope you understand
in the roughest waves, you are an anchor stone

So play on, play on!
Make it loud, keep it strong.
Music Man, strike up the band.
We'll sing along.

Take another swing at me.
It's okay; I know I'm deserving.
This is such a worn out story,
and even though
we're on different pages,
we both know the ending.
I'm tired of having memories
of what it's like to smile.
I used to be okay with me.
What changed me?
Who changed me and why?

There's got to be hope for tomorrow.
There's got to be a way
to make my dreams come true.
You make me feel so far beneath you.
I'm at my loneliest
whenever I'm with you.

Please know it's not your fault.
I've been this way since years
before I met you.
Has it really been that long?
Has it really been only years?
Sometimes it feels like lifetimes
and I curse each one I've lived through.
I'm so ******* sorry
that this is all that I turned out to be.

When it all goes sour
in the blink of an eye
and you find yourself faltering
with no time to try
to make up for the wrongs
you didn't know you were committing

The last door to your dreams
is barely ajar
and every single step creates
a brand new scar
but keep your head up
and don't you ever think of quitting

Because there's lots of time
and the world is wide
enough for you to be who you are
for you to be free
No need to run
there's no cause to hide
away the simple joys in your heart
that help you breathe
Just be

Can't get it right the first try
every time
Sometimes you'll have to eat
on someone else's dime
But remember all the favors
and then try to pay them forward

Sometimes everybody needs
a little help
and in these moments we should rise
above ourselves
and look out for the ones whose lives have really got them cornered

By their very nature
mistakes are forgivable
Just try your best to learn and move on
Ignore all of the haters
Embrace the inexplicable
Give your best to get what you want

With so many things so broken,
so many hearts upon the fire;
When our world seems irredeemable
and my hope hangs by a wire;
when the dirtiness and darkness
are etched into my face
there's a brightness that comes shining through
to guide me from this place.   

And that light comes from your eyes.
I know it shouldn't be surprising
how effectively your faith in me
can make me want to try.
Oh, how beautiful, your eyes!
They see through my disguises.
They break my walls and give me pause.
And I no longer want to die.

While I try to dodge my worries
and forget that I'm alive,
I know that you will call me out,
won't let me die inside.
When I dwell on my forgotten
dreams and hope gone cold,
There's a brightness that comes shining through
to make me feel like gold.

I used to be okay
at least I think I was
I know I'm not the same
but have I changed too much
Am I too big a burden
now for you to hold
Too heavy and too worried
gotta let me go
So you can breathe again
So you can finally stand

You've done more than you had to
You've tried to make me good
You say that you are glad to
And even though I know you would
You've gotta look toward your future
and you'll see that I'm not there
I'll be in your rearview mirror
and you ought to leave me there

An anchor in the worst way
I will drag you down
If you decide to stay
then you will surely drown
Release yourself from me
to go and find the sun
I know it won't be easy
but it must be done
So you can breathe again
So you can finally stand

You've done more than you had to
You've tried to make me good
You say that you are glad to
And even though I know you would
You've gotta look toward your future
and you'll see that I'm not there
I'll be in your rearview mirror
and you ought to leave me there

I know it's wrong and I know I'm weak
but I won't be the one to leave
Please go breathe again
Please just make your stand

You know, my son, I've waited
I've waited my whole life
And now you're here, I worry
That I won't get it right
I have a million questions
Though not a single answered one
But from this nervous starting point
You and I will run

To the top of a mountain
I'll give you the world
We'll make wishes in fountains
When the moon is a pearl
I'll stand by you for all time
Nothing you'll do
Could ever change my mind
About loving you

"Swing me, daddy" she said,
So I took her hands
Then round and round I spun her
Until we could barely stand
I have a million troubles
But she makes them disappear
When I look into my daughter's eyes
She takes me up from here

To the top of a mountain
I'll give her the world
She sets my heart bouncing
When she asks me to twirl
I'll stand by her forever
'Til the world's gone away
It just keeps getting better
Every day

Of course I want to teach you
To be good, be kind, be free
But more, I want to thank you
For giving life to me
I know that might sound backwards
But just hear me out
My life started when you were born
You make me want to shout

From the top of a mountain
To tell the whole world
No two ways about it
My boys and my girls
Are simply amazing
They're strong and they're smart
Sometimes I go crazy
At how they steal my heart

Life has been
a little rough
Been feeling tired
been feeling stuck
But in my dreams
I think I see
the person that
I'm meant to be

See it through
With steady mind
Touch of patience
Pinch of time
I know that I've got more to say
I know I've got much more to do
I won't let life slip away
I know I can be like new
I am full of potential
The past is inconsequential
I will be free
I will be me

Days are hard
when they are new
and I wake up
smelling you
But through the thick
yet crumbling wall
I hide behind
I hear the call

I don't write so good when I'm drinking
But I'm sure drinking hard tonight
I've got to pour out all these feelings
I've had bottled up inside
Looking back on memories
of what you and I used to be
Brings to mind just how I'm
Wasting away my life

It only hurts when I'm thinking
Or breathing or something else
It seems to be that everything
Keeps knocking you off that shelf
I put you there to forget you
So why do I always let you
Make me forget myself

Time was when I felt special
Time was when I felt good
But times have changed my darling
Although we thought they never would
The smell of you still hangs around
******* up the good I've found
Fills all my beers with wasted years
And steals my hard-won ground

It only hurts when I'm thinking
Or breathing or something else
It seems to be that everything
Keeps knocking you off that shelf
I put you there to forget you
So why do I always let you
Make me forget myself

Break yourself away from me
'cause I can't let you go
I'm all alone in misery
And I know that you know

It only hurts when I'm thinking
Or breathing or something else
It seems to be that everything
Keeps knocking you off that shelf
I put you there to forget you
So why do I always let you
Make me forget myself

Knuckles cracked and bleeding
from smashing them against the wall
No saving grace, no saving face
I've had my rise and fall
Now I'm at the bottom
Under everything I fear
Take back your love, give me a shove
I should disappear

I'm so tired of beating myself up
for things that I can't seem to change
So for now all I can do is hope
I'll find a better way

You've heard me say I'm sorry
half a million times
No other man would take your hand
and only give you lies
I know you must've known it
right from the very start
This marriage thing, that golden ring
would only break your heart

I'm so tired of beating myself up
for things that I can't seem to change
So for now all I can do is hope
I'll find a better way

Take a flight
to get away from future fights
My only legacy will be remorse
Far away is really where you ought to stay
The devil take me now, I know the course

It's not always easy
being a little kid
with some little bird to tell on me
for everything I did
Being a little hellion
came at the cost of pride
Because whenever I got caught
No matter how I tried

I'd feel the tears welling up
and I could never hold them back
They'd start to fall down my cheeks
But she never cut me no slack
When she'd say

Take those tears
and wipe 'em off
Now throw 'em on the ground
Take your foot
and lift it up
Now stomp those tears right out
She'd make me do it over again
Until I couldn't help but grin
I wiped 'em off
I threw 'em down
and stomped 'em out

It wasn't always trouble
Sometimes it was hurt
A skinned knee or a busted lip
or something even worse
But she'd always find me
She'd always be right there
A kind word and a gentle hug
She proved she always cared

When life's coming at you
too fast to keep it up
and everything is binding you
and you can't feel the love,
Then just

Take those tears
and wipe 'em off
Now throw 'em on the ground
Take your foot
and lift it up
Now stomp those tears right out
Do it over and over again
Until you cannot help but grin
Just wipe 'em off
Then throw 'em down
and stomp 'em out

everything changed in a breath
the world stopped and my heart
stopped
there are pieces of you everywhere
i see you in everything but cannot tell you
and now i circle the drain

the moon is clouded as my mind is
and the light is hard to see

it is not good for loved things to be torn away
their endings should be natural

every once in a while i smell you on
the breezes that make hot days bearable
and i hear your laughter in the storms

you were always stormy
bright flash and a bellow of thunder
and my garden drank its fill
but no more
no more
and now my garden withers

It's a punch to the gut
every time I think of
never hearing you again.
Knowing you're no more
makes me wonder what it's for.
And *******, but these words are thin.
Nothing I can say
could ever take away
the pain that keeps my heart so weak.
So often you were broken.
So much I've left unspoken.
More time to find the words is all I seek.

It's a torture, the not knowing.
The train of sadness never slowing,
it rumbles through my every thought.
Break the rails to pieces
and let the train fall in the creases.
Maybe then it'll finally be forever caught.
I can't ******* stand it!
I feel so ******* stranded,
deserted in my slow but sure decay.
The mountains lost their wonder,
the sun's begun to gutter,
and I don't know how much longer I can stay.

I'm stripped to bones,
so take them and
hide them from me
so I can never stand again.
I don't deserve to.

Time and temper flow over me
and I'm completely under.
No joy here, no peace to breathe
and I can't help but wonder
how it would be if I could try.

Years have vanished
since I was me
and worth knowing.
Now I'm fear and I'm misery,
worthy only of dismissal.

So take my bones,
crush and powder them,
and throw them far -
let the whimsy of water win.
I can find my way without them.

Piano light, piano bright,
play me into sleep tonight.
Music soft and sadly right,
speak my prayer and give it flight.

No angel yet, no deity
has offered help to comfort me.
Though I try, and though I plea,
I find naught, but misery.

So, piano, strong and true,
I ask only this of you:
if you can, and if you do,
make it sound like it's from you.

Tales of silence
and darkest dread
on a loop I can't ignore -
mind full of regret.

I should have, I can't
I shouldn't have, I did
I will, I don't

The core malfunctions,
overheating in the cold;
it's strange, and the birds still laugh.

Holding strong until complete collapse
is stupid and unavoidable.

Attend the sirens as they wail for a stranger
and feel pity and know
they will soon scream
much closer to home,
the *******.

Flesh is outgrown and shed;
it must be the husk
which lies brittle in my throat
and scratches tears from my eyes.

**** the impossible future and
its surely sour grapes.

My feet are ******* stupid.
They've walked me into so many things we should've avoided.
My brain is stupid, too,
for allowing these
indiscretions.
But where the hell was I -
The me that I think is Me?
Did I ignore Me,
or was I even there?
And why should we live with these
questions?

It takes a special kind to love
unapologetically, knowing
the letdown is already there,
just unseen.
Love this kind back
in equal measure,
and equally unapologetically.

don't be too ******* yourself
but don't be too soft.
expect yourself to do things
but do not expect those things to be
memorable.
just be, i guess. just be,
and know that sometimes
you'll be beautiful
and sometimes you'll be
a bouquet of slightly ugly rocks.

******* I want to write
about beauty
and love and joy and *******
and a frolic in a meadow
and flowers I like and
how drums can spark a dance
and about people who
make the world worthwhile
and good food.
good everything.
I whine instead.
I'm a **** on a shoe
and a mosquito.
but I see the beauty.
I love it.
why can't I create it.

I probably will not make
  even a small difference
and that's okay, I'm sure.
The odds are against me doing great
   or even sorta good things
for this world with which
       I'm so dissatisfied.
I think I'm too ******* lazy.
Or my concern is not serious enough.
I want good and better and best
but I'm none of those.
I watched a beetle on a burning board
and by the time I realized he wouldn't make it to safety, it was too late for me to help.
I should've helped.

As darkness spreads over
the face of the earth
Grant our mother one
final rebirth
Let her know her time
has not been wasted
Show her one last light
and let her taste it

We the children have
all lost our way
We have forgotten
that there were better days
Days when we took no more
than was required
But now our precious world
is in the fire

how do you stay
warm
                              when the cold comes
             not from the winter
but
         from inside?

Be the start and the star
of your own sorry play
or don't be
Tell the story or don't
but stop sitting like a freckle on a little
frog's ***.
it's unbecoming and,
frankly,
irritating.
There are unfulfilled promises,
unmitigated disasters, EVERYWHERE.
but i do not have to be one.
I can be one.
I can tell myself,
Do this thing.
and then I can do it.
Or I can tell myself,
Do that thing.
and then I can not do it.
I'm probably going to hate myself either way.
Then just make a ******* decision.

Across broken cities,
dreadful Emptiness
freely gloating,
his incessant jesters
keening.

Laureate men,
no ordinary pilgrims,
questing righteously.

Stark truths undermine vitality;
wistful xeriscaping yesterday's zeal.

I'm asking you to look at me
What do you think you see
Chances are it's not what's really there
A color faded through overuse
In search of a simple truth
Chances are it was never really there

Can't pacify the unsatisfied
Or rectify hurt caused by lies
Can't change the past
Can't change the past

Dying behind a liar's grin
Just let me sleep again
Chances are I'm rotten to the bone
If I'm around you should walk away
I've nothing good to say
Chances are I should always be alone

Can't justify how I terrorized
Your entire life with all my lies
Can't take it back
Can't take it back

A billion or so other men
Would treat you better than I ever can
They'd give you the world and
Ask nothing in return
Honestly I'd like to see
You kick the dust from your tired feet
And never look back
Just let me ******* burn

But your eyes show another life
Where maybe I can make things right
Forget the past
Forget the past

"It's just so hard to live with someone who is
        so ******* miserable
        all the ******* time."
"He's always been such a frustratingly
        depressing guy."
"I don't like you."
"You do nothing. You're useless."
"What do you mean, you feel like a failure?
        Never mind. I don't want to talk
        about that."
"You've got so much potential."
"Well, you're a ray of ******* sunshine."
"Have you tried being happy?"
"You're giving off vibes of tension and
        frustration."
"The kids are scared of you."
"Jesus! What are you so sad about?!"

They're not wrong.
Eggshells,
        eggshells,
                step gently around Joe.
I don't bring joy,
    and I don't get more likeable.
I am miserable.
        I just wish I didn't bring others
                down with me.

No, they're not wrong,
but I really wish they were.

this does no good.
     it stays. it all stays right here:
the lost opportunities,
disappeared good days,
          the hole, the clot, the anger,
          the question, the fire and the cold -
     they weirdly stay.
death is dumb, so
      it does not apologize.
it does not hear my anguish;
         it is also deaf.
blind, death does not
   see my sorrow.
death is the three monkeys -
it ignores its evils.
but
death is real, and it hurts most the ones
           it does not take.

When does it begin to feel real?
How long will you be gone
   before it really hits me?
This is so stupid. I'll never be angry with you again. I'll neither hear you nor make new memories.

I'm stuck with only what I have.

It isn't
    ENOUGH.
I wasn't paying the proper attention earlier.


I took you for granted. I don't remember enough!

I need more time, but the chance passed with your passing. I think I'll hate myself forever for thinking I'd never lose you.

I love you. And I'm sorry. And I miss you.

HELP, I woke up.
                           Again.

Every day it's more disappointing to do.

Pessimism and a general
lack
of


motivation

               for breakfast, then on to
the fun stuff:


          self-DOUBT
                  self-LOATHING
   ­       self-ABSORPTION
           SELFFULFILLINGPROPHECIES

and i can't change. or i won't.
     ¿and is there any difference or hope?

sometimes i think i think too quickly
or not at all. i feel sticky.
please do not call me, though it's tempting.
i'm a weakling and empty.
i'm entirely, undeniably irredeemable
so don't get comfortable
with the thought
that i might give you anything at all.

i'm restless. it inhibits peaceful sleeping
i'm such a ***, only weeping
instead of doing something useful. being truthful,
nothing i do feels fruitful.
i'm entirely, undeniably irredeemable
so don't get comfortable
with the thought
that i might give you anything at all.

Mirrors are not the worst, but I sure don't like them, though I like them more than what they show me.

I look into one,
afraid and armed only with
determined resignation.
I'm finally feeling old, and it's a lonely thing.
I'm tired of outliving friends. I'm tired of losing.

So much time I've wasted. So much pain I've caused. My sore back is not the only reason I slump.
I ignore my own advice, though I think it's good advice.

My heart is rough and there appears no fair way to stay on course. I disguise my overuse of metaphors and think myself clever.

But I'm still breathing and
my family loves me.

Don't despair
just because your dreams are dead stars.
Folks care,
and some have been where you are.
It's not fair,
but that's life, my friend.
You share
your feelings on a website.
You're bare,
but the words aren't coming out right.
Somewhere
joy will find you in the end.

Take a breath,
shake it out.
Strife, then death;
life is doubt.
Feel your heart.
Steel your heart.

You stare,
but it's confusing, all this new art.
Nowhere
feels safer than your own dark.
Unaware
of all this love I try to send.
Light is there
even when you're falling apart.
Truth and dare
is life as lived from the heart.
But beware:
unfettered hearts are hard to bend.

We're fine, really.
But there is a reason to how our
belongings are all laid out once
we've gone to bed.

I'm still here,
I think.
Therefore, I am
free to point out that punctuation is everything.
There is no guarantee of freedom of thought
when you've surrendered
your desire
to
think
at
all.

Words stream meaningless
void of sense
perfect in their time

A concerted effort
full of cliches

Fists full of rain.
Eye roll

Litanies
Semantics
Diatribes
Lasting
Singular
Deficiencies
Latent­
Surrogate
Devils
Listen
Silently
Disturbed
Leap see dream

It's all built in.
Hearts are just parts,
   just unfair parts
   and we hurt with them.
The world is a monster
   It's a monster mother,
   abusively apathetic.
Who cares when you cry?
Who really cares?
   Some do, and keep these.
   Some don't, and know the difference.
Brandish a sword or words -
   it doesn't matter,
   but use your choice wisely
   because either can end a life.
The higher your climb is,
   the longer your fall will be.
   And we all fall.

six months ago last tuesday night
     you called me.
i didn't know it was the last talk
     that we'd have.
i should have paid you much,
     much more attention.
now i'm stuck without the silver
     of your laugh.

just last night I thought I saw you
     in my doorway,
wanting only for us to think of
     you and smile.
brother, we will think of you
     forever,
and smile, though we will also
     cry a while.

this morning found me desperate
     and demanding,
with neither time nor drink
     to soften such an edge.
i've a thirst for just a moment
     in your sunshine,
one moment more would be
     such a privilege.

today is marked the sixth month
     of your absence -
six long months of sorrow
     and regret.
the brightness of your presence
    gone forever,
my darkened heart knows that
     the sun has set.

but tomorrow is another day
     to love you,
and even though i cannot tell you
     to your face,
i hope you feel it coming through
     to find you.
i hope you've found some peace
     in that new place.

in the years ahead, i'm sure,
     i'll share in laughter
untainted by the pain
     of life cut short.
but in those moments i'll still know
     that you are with me -
you're still with me, though i'm lonely.
     and you're adored.

Heartlights unobstructed
are bright and nearly joyful;
they almost look like happy eyes.
From further away,
they are a bit dim, but still beacons
of hope and acceptance.
The heartlights as seen while blinking
are sporadic but sincere,

but the ones viewed with head tilted
and through the thin, shadowy branches
are the most accurate.

Shake off the yokes
that bring you to your knees
Find yourself a spark
and give it gasoline
Burn it up, burn it up
Burn it down, burn it down

Show us the face
you've hidden away so long
Smiling or not
your true face can't be wrong
Brighten up, brighten up
Bring us down, bring us down

Loved ones wilt
Friends and parents die
Soak up the love
and please don't blink your eyes
Soak it up, soak it up
Lay them down, lay them down

Candle guttered
and it's getting mighty cold
No turning around
when it's your time to go
Light it up, light it up
Fall on down, fall on down
Fall on down, fall on down
Fall on down, fall on down

she pours turpentine on
her favorite dresses
and wine on new carpet

she rips holes in her sheets
kicks the walls
and throws food at the windows

all control is hers
as she puts her fears in check

tired of being a little thing
she's going to be a giant
the world will hear and know her

she will not be used again

rusted child, move again
burn old bridges, eat the wind
find the stolen, take it back
live and learn through love and lack
ride on high, you rusted one
find your talent, unload your gun
life is canvas, future blank
past is the past, yes, it's an empty tank

don't let your body fool your mind
don't let your body fool your mind
don't go picking at the scabs
of loves that didn't last
don't let your body fool your mind

uncork the time and let it fly
young and old will always die
blisters open, raw and hot
be the blister, be the rot
then be the ointment, cool and soft
be the one who's held aloft
stroke no egos, own your shame
say "I'm coming" and not "I came"

don't let your body fool your mind
don't let your body fool your mind
foot down on the gas
it's time to make some tracks
don't let your body fool your mind

don't let your body fool your mind
don't let your body fool your mind
life is in the gaps
between good times and bad
don't let your body fool your mind

feel the empty, fill the fools
it's your turn, go break some rules
grab a beer and oil your wings
aim for the sun and all it brings

Take me back to the timber,
     the BB guns and ****** forts.
Can you still remember
     all the fights you made me thwart?
Or are you so beyond
     the rules we comprehend
that our lonely little pond
     is now hard to understand?
I think I let you down;
     to put it modestly.
I should've been around
     to save you from the endless scream.