I’ve been contemplating
Wether to love or unlove
I’m not benefiting much
Iv been thinking on this for sometime now & you Havnt proved my feelings wrongs. You have changed . From hurting me every day to somedays to not so oftenly  but unexpectedly
I agree you are not the same but what you’ve done remains in my memory. I have so many unhealed cuts in my heart . I forgive but I don’t ever forget and constantly over think about the heartbreaks
I have cried more than I have smiled with you
You have betrayed me more than prove your love towards me
You helped me want sobriety
You helped me fight temptation and control myself from Relapsing.
You also helped me open a dangerous door in my life
You taught me a new way to avoid the tears you caused
Your negative actions sparked my brain
You made me cry one day
I called my connect
I collected my ****
I used to see if the tears went away
And they did.
My emotions went numb and I forgotten what you did
Only high have I forgiven you
Only high have I let go
In reality Nothings ever been ok
Thanks to **** I’ve made it this far
Thanks to crystal 41314 Turned into a special day
I’ve matured & Grown alittle Since I’ve been with you
I see more clear and I’m beginning to see what’s best for me
Maybe we weren’t meant to be forever but destined to change each other
I’m frightened to officially let go
I dedicated all my time and invested 6 Years Of my life on this boy
I allowed him into my temple and experienced first time intimacy
We created so much history to just turn it into ashes and believe it never existed
To act like we never met
And never loved each other till death did us part
To see what was once our everything Be forced to be seen as nothing.