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will you still love me
if I don't smile today?
if my tears fall like raindrops
and my world tears at the seams?
if my voice breaks when I talk
and I seek the comfort of dreams?

will you still love me
if I don't cheer up today?
if I sit rigid in silence
and spend the whole day in bed?
if I find solace in cigarettes
and don't keep myself fed?

will you still love me
if I don't laugh today?
if I keep my thoughts hidden
and don't say what I mean?
if I curl up in darkness
and stare at a screen?

will you still love me
if I don't calm down today?
if my patience wears thin
and snaps like a thread?
if my eyes no longer sparkle
and are absent instead?

will you still love me
if I don't smile today?
Aaron Beedle Apr 12
You'll love me as long as I say
the things you want me to say.
And if I don't tell you you're lovely,
your love seems to fade away.

But you'll love me if I know the way,
the way that I've learnt to convey,
to speak in the way that you taught me,
so your love isn't taken away.

And it's making me feel quite lonely,
all these words that you're making me say.
I don't even think that you'd know me,
if we spoke when you couldn't see my face.
This one is a memory.
Aaron Beedle Apr 10
Why does the angel
relent their raise
of perturbed pupils
to better ways?
About: Is a good person a good person if they make no effort to demonstrate the value of their goodness? To share it? How much effort is enough to help others see the right way?
Aaron Beedle Apr 9
The news is a c#%&
That son of a b@#$!
They don't give a f$%!
about talking s&#@
That girl is a s!@$
and that dude's a d!@&
But I blame this boll@&$s
On tabloid pr!@&s
I hate the news. I didn't put much effort into this one, I just wanted to give it a try. I'm pretty sleep deprived today due to drinking tea too late and having to get up to *** 3 times in the night.

Why does my body retain so much tea?

Why does it burn so intensely?

I must eat biscuits to cope with the unpredictable nature of tea.
Aaron Beedle Apr 4
We are children of stars, all of us each,
if you look way back far beyond memory's reach.
Past fire and lightning, spirit and beast,
our atoms return, and stars we complete.
This is a small section from one of my favourite poems I wrote, called Ozone. I'm posting this as an experiment, as I'm noticing the shortest poems get significantly more attention and engagement than ones over roughly 60 words or so.

It's interesting thinking about the parallels between social media and this website. I came here thinking engagement would be more evenly spread, however it seems there are very dominant trends; poems about love and sorrow seem more popular. Anything taking more than 15 seconds to digest seems to engage fewer people. Poems that people can comment on and share relatable experiences seem to do much better, while those sharing less common perspectives seem to more often go unnoticed.

Still, I shall press on! Lack of popularity is no more a sign of inadequacy than being willing to easily give up on something. I'm enjoying writing and sharing my poems for now.
Aaron Beedle Apr 2
The greatest poem I ever wrote
was the note I left to a future friend,
a wish, I hoped, that would project
my hopeful mind, and sense of depth.

The greatest thought I ever spared
a future in a dream I'd shared.
A piece within a scene complete,
the place where mind and spirit meet.

The greatest step I ever took,
to take the time enough to look,
to raid my thoughts and scour my mind,
and on my trail my friend I find.

The greatest friend I ever knew.
The friend a thousand times consumed.
By glowing screen and jingling bell.
My friend, I wish, would be myself.
About: Being good to yourself, to your mind and body, and not drowning your nature in distractions and consumption.
Aaron Beedle Mar 26
To me it's strange, the way they speak.
The poets of the ivory peaks.
The ivory's gone, but it's some other thing
I can't afford. That luck won't bring.

Their words are nonsense, their tales obscure,
and I endure
strange sentences and structures
to be a part, and perhaps procure
an understanding of the
heavy handed
application of articulation.
The inebriation of contemplation
of words and rhymes.
Perhaps it will come to me in time.

It is the story of my life.
An unavoidable,
like pain, like light.
The door is open, the hands invite
but the hearts are frozen, with hands that write
about love and romance, pain and longing
where is the tale of the brothers belonging
and sisters working the marathon strings
of shifts to pay to raise a child.
The horrors of a society gone wild.

Where is the working class writer of poems
the wordsmith trained on the limited knowing
where is the voice of those rarely heard?
Where are their stories? Where are their words?
About: So much art is dominanted by the middle/upper class. What barriers do poorer people face in getting their art into the world? Why might exposure be significantly easier for middle class people?

I grew in a poor-ish area of Birmingham and there was essentially no support for art. I drew and wrote a lot, but I never received any support from teachers, I was encouraged not to pick these subjects, and there weren't any resources available. By the time I was a teenager, I'd completely dropped the idea of writing. It took until the age of around 27 before covid lockdown accidentally facilitated my artistic growth and I was able to pursue a creative career. Prior to that, there was nothing.
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