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Oct 2015 · 617
Bothersome
Nobody Oct 2015
Bothersome
I can't stand this world.

It's a place filled with lies, a world filled with sorrows
A place of violent madness and pitiful tomorrows.

Truth is ineffable, saddening, and out of grasp
and some days I just can't take it,
because the sum of all we are is something that just can't last.

And I promise all these tomorrows will be sunnier day's,
Yet the sun is sinking, sulking and withering away.

My mind just won't stay quiet, it's running and spinning'
and dizzying in shades of grey.

If I could find a point, a purpose, or a meaningful way
I'd trade all my treasure, my pleasure and call it a day.
#depressing #sad #existential #angry
Continue reading...
Sep 2014 · 582
What comes in the midnight hour?
Nobody Sep 2014
What comes in the midnight hour?
What comes in the midnight hour calling me across the lake?
An ethereal siren song of a maiden from another shore.
A song that makes my heart quiver with the thought that im very far from home.

The fire in my mind spreads like a disease to every sense,
light is darkened, sound is muted, taste is rotten, smell is of gasoline and rotting corpses.

What aches is not only that my own heart is empty, but rather
That all the hearts mine call out to are equally broken, and empty.

I've nothing left to offer this world, for this world has already broken me,
beaten me, and left me without a soul, or even a sense of home.

I feel I no longer belong on this shore. Like a man out of time.
All that's left is my silhouette. A burnt out husk.

In a perfect world, we would live in unity. There would be perfect sanity
enough that our minds could fully receive each other
and share our ourselves, share our love, share our knowledge, wisdom and our pains,
without ever harming another, nor ourselves.

We would no longer need words, because our hearts would be one.
We would be united, no longer in selfishness, and greed, but in joy and love and kindness.

I don't belong here anymore, because I'm incapable of living in such a world.
Yet it's all I want, and the furthest from what I am.

I am a monster.
#suicide #depression #madness
Continue reading...
Aug 2014 · 1.4k
Monsters
Nobody Aug 2014
Monsters
One day it will all end,
be it in a sea of fire, a radioactive wasteland
a barren place with no tree's or signs of life
and we'll still be fighting over what's left.

We are disgusting.
Once nothing is left, We'll still be fighting.
Fighting over our ideas and ideologies.

We are disgusting.
Just maybe we don't deserve to survive.
We can't even face how terrible we really are.
We are monsters, and we hide it from even ourselves.

Don't look in the mirror unless you really want to know
just what you are.

Once you see it, you just might think.
Maybe we don't deserve to survive.
Continue reading...
Jul 2014 · 523
My Gift; My Curse
Nobody Jul 2014
My Gift; My Curse
Why do I even have to ask such questions?
When the answers float in front of me,

What makes life a gift, or a curse? Is it circumstance?
Is there a choice in the matter at all? Or has this moment simply
been waiting to be since the beginning.

As haphazard as I am, even I find good days,
Even on the days I'm withering away inside.

I ponder my circumstances with the vigilance of a soldier
waiting for a stray bullet to pass by his head.

What a way to live, what a way to write poetry.
Let me tell you, poetry is about as good as ash
tossed in the sea.

It serves as a fossil, a reminder of the past, but through
the binoculars of a different person.

It doesn't explain a thing either, it's just text, an empty shell
Once the shell falls away, what remains is what we sough after, but never wanted.

Let me tell you, When pleasure is followed by pain
there's nothing but destruction
but when pain is followed by understanding,
well, maybe, just maybe.
Continue reading...
May 2014 · 462
Ashes
Nobody May 2014
Ashes
Life is absurd

Most of it beyond belief, and it's really just a figment
a solidified dream, one that leaves me feeling empty
because I can dream so much more, and all those dreams;
don't mean a thing, and my journey has grown tired,
and stale, and It will never shine again, because
at every turn, I'm reminded of how foolish I am.
There is no magic anymore, my worlds grown hollow
and every belief, is like a song that ends too soon.
If you take a hammer, and smash the world to pieces
it's beautiful, but as the ashes of the world settle
and solidify, you never know how your mind will end up
I like the world in ashes, thrown into the air
because that's the only place where everything is beautiful.
#beauty #reality #creativity
Continue reading...
May 2014 · 1.6k
Hate
Nobody May 2014
Hate
This is

The end of a phase
The beginning of an era

Where hope is the villain
and everything bright with dreams
of happy endings

Is perused with intent to ****
I'm not your friend
I'm not your savior

I am the gun
buried in the hate
of everyone who's ever felt
the sting of betrayal, the whip
of hate searing it's name
into the bowels of your heart

I am the beginning, the ending
of everything to come
I am your friend burying the knife
in the back of everything you believe

I am a creature of your makings
Feed me, Keep me
Hate me HATE ME

And just before you forget me,

Remember all that's been done
before its too late and everything you love
becomes forsaken, destroyed
and is left in the wake of everything,
everything you've had me become..
Continue reading...
May 2014 · 671
Transmission
Nobody May 2014
Transmission
The amplitude of all things to come
are born of sound-waves, as they penetrate every fibre
every neuron, the synapse reconfigure
and fire synchronized with the external world

An electromagnetic pulse is born and dances in solitude
condensed solitude.. like a star burning brightly in an empty sky.

Oh to know.. how much we've grown.. we've come so far,
and as we encroach upon the infinite void,
my eyes shalnt lose their wonder..

the spark of a tear sets in motion, an implosion of will
and the sky is set ablaze in ways beyond imagination
a transmission to all those who are able to see.

Oh to know.. how much we've grown.. we've come so far,
and as we encroach upon the infinite void,
my eyes shalnt lose their wonder..

I say to you, open your mind to all things before you,
for within this infinite view, lies a beautiful freedom.
Continue reading...
May 2014 · 460
Heart
Nobody May 2014
Heart
as the petals of time, ever eluding
softly drift where the wind carry them
footprints in the snow scatter the fragile
thoughts of the millions who call this home

I hear them and they cry for me to let them go

..I havent got the heart to tell them...
Continue reading...
May 2014 · 306
Colors
Nobody May 2014
Colors
I'm never ending, just beginning
now im trying as my mind has begun
to fly and all that I feel is colored
everything I mistake, I recreate
Reform and I change,
this constant inspiring lack of self
desires of insanity trapped within
the clouds of my mind-frame
and my mind-frame is that of being all alone
this devoid lacking sense of motivation
is reminiscent of desperation

when we're all alone, there is no-one
left to cry my name and I glide
on winds of thought all alone, as alone
as the universe is all on it's own
always wondering why, can't you tell
that none of us are really alive?
separated from above, everything you've
been is a cleansing lie, save yourself
from yourself, hatred spills from emptiness
like night time skies absorb all reason
with a flash of imagination these times
are rewired, much left to desire
when everything we want is what they
told us we'd die for all along.
Continue reading...
May 2014 · 343
Hey
Nobody May 2014
Hey
All this show is for something I could never be
my love is the only thing saving me
in my heart I feel as one
If not for good then I'll just give what I can
I wish it was absolute but I am just a man
all these voices in my head
appear as mirrors to other sides of grace
as I stare wholeheartedly
your eyes are all I can seem to face

save my soul just to sell it for something more,
just to have held something pure..
and before I go
give my love to all I see, cause,
Theres nothing greater inside of me
Continue reading...
May 2014 · 301
Apathy
Nobody May 2014
Apathy
The whole world is broken,
and all those dreamers who carry on
walk like blindfolded fools to their own demise
you see there really isn't any reason
and if you find one, you've sold yourself a lie
we disguise our disappointment in life with
dreams and chasing happiness that doesn't exist
because really, all that exists is a lonely world
where we can't escape from our solitude
barred from knowing why, but it's just a dream isn't it?
it's whatever you want to tell yourself,
I can't accept the silence, because I hear your voice
and I know right behind it's refusal, is everything
so it's never going to be alright

so disappear into this dream and fool yourself,
for happier tomorrows, but everything you chase
boils down to variations of a simple feeling
one that mask's the pain, so all your struggle
to obtain such a simple thing, is wasted
when you could just as easily manipulate that feeling
with a simple chemical.
Continue reading...
May 2014 · 343
Ashes
Nobody May 2014
Ashes
Life is absurd

Most of it beyond belief, and it's really just a figment
a solidified dream, one that leaves me feeling empty
because I can dream so much more, and all those dreams
don't mean a thing, and my journey has grown tired
and stale, and It will never shine again, because
at every turn, I'm reminded of how foolish I am
there is no magic anymore, my worlds grown hollow
and every belief, is like a song that ends too soon
if you take a hammer, and smash the world to pieces
it's beautiful, but as the ashes of the world settle
and solidify, you never know how your mind will end up
I like the world in ashes, thrown into the air
because that's the only place where everything is beautiful
Continue reading...
May 2014 · 576
Betrayal
Nobody May 2014
Betrayal
Oh how it hurts, the warmth of your voice and the shattering of my heart
when you whip venom into my mind with the flipping of your tongue.

This isn't how it used to be, when the stars lit up the skies
in all directions around me, and everything still felt ok.

Oh, how much more can I bare? My heart is filled with angst,
angst, fear, jelously and hate.

Oh how these things poison my mind, and each time I try to shed my skin
and be reborn into something, someone, anything better,
you find a way back into my heart, and into my mind
and my pain only grows, and each time you leave me more frail.
Fragile, and on the edge like a star that's on it's last leg
about to burst every last bit of it's beauty across the universe
and die a slow agonizing death.

And it will be the last of you, the last of me. Thing's might of been better
but I fear it will never be that way, for the life of me, it's all been a cruel joke
and every soft bit of my heart, has been torn apart and replaced with scabs

but even scabs are chewy enough for your pointy teeth.
Continue reading...
May 2014 · 386
Hells
Nobody May 2014
Hells
By the time you take a look, it's gone
fleetings moments ride out their days
in the oceans of my mind

The *** of gold luring me to the end
is as much a phantom, as the rainbow road
leading me there

And the many detours into hell
leave me a little bit lighter each time
and perhaps I should be more wary
of peace, than of the many torments
that seem to be blocking my way

for if I ever find lasting peace, I've probably
traded the truth, for a very beautiful dream.
Continue reading...
May 2014 · 687
In the blink of an eye
Nobody May 2014
In the blink of an eye
In the blink of an eye

A thousand lifetimes have passed by
A million lives have come in and out of existence
A billion laughs laughed and a trillion tears cried

and what am I? What is this insanity that surrounds me?
A material world that shifts position according to my beliefs?
An Inner Dialog that would drive the Buddha mad

The Incoherance of this world is so thick it drowns out all reason,
until my insides scream so loud the world around me begins to bleed.

Following the white rabbit until nothing is as it seems,
to departing and inventing an illusory world based around
the consensus of a society so engulfed in fantasy they communicate
and relate to each-other using memories accumulated from watching TV.

I want to *****, and escape from this madness, and what is it?
What is the true nature of this place we exist within?

None of it makes any sense, is the world mad, or is the way in which I perceive it flawed?
Is my mind broken, or is it a reflection of that which surrounds me?

my god, let me out of this place.
Continue reading...
May 2014 · 326
Stop
Nobody May 2014
Stop
What an unbearable agony
My mind wont stop spinning
and at every point of impact
im pulled along by every thought

I can't stop and everything is painted
with meaning that isnt there
and it's like being torn apart from the inside
by a tornado made of razor blades
like being lit on fire and weighted down
in iron shackles

and in my pain
I lash out at the notion I could stop this
at any time
Continue reading...
May 2014 · 270
Untitled
Nobody May 2014
Untitled
Can you see? the constant dreams
stay reminiscent of happier tomorrow's
set me free, so distance is a flying vision
in a world torn of multicolored hypocrisies
incisions of a reality that refuses to see
that I, refuse to be -
and now i find, this place has cut my wing's
I feel, So far away, will you stay??
or will i fade? cut my cord so i fall
and now i cant feel a thing..

as i go, you all look, so far away
and I glide on broken wings, from this place
as this vision fades, I can only see -

you're face.....

but now i'm on my way
and i refuse to see
another day, as I..

Fall from grace
#old
Continue reading...
May 2014 · 667
Untitled
Nobody May 2014
Untitled
Hey..
Hey!

Do my words make me?
Do they mistake me? Do they create me?
I hold on to all that I am
All that I feel
All that I feel I need to say

Is who I am determined by
who I choose to be?
or do the memories I hold make me?
Make me!
Make me!
Oh my god why has my life forsaken me?
Betrayed me? Set me up and played me!
Let my progress take me, shake me!
and push me to places where I am welcome unwelcomed

Stained in all that I do, All that I am
Who I am!

Who am I?
Who am I?

Who am I...
Continue reading...
May 2014 · 519
The Tower
Nobody May 2014
The Tower
Seething beauty
is a lost flower

is a haunting memory
reminding me of my foolish mistakes

a wind crashing against my lonely tower
forcing ink from every crack and crevice
like sulking tears
amassing briefly, before falling to the earth.

if only, if just, for a..
but it was all, no more than a fleeting moment.

and I crumble in impatience, like a child,
unable to build a brighter future

from the ashes of this burnt down garden..

that once flourished,

at the sight of
at the scent of
at the thought of

you.
Continue reading...
May 2014 · 330
Fantasy
Nobody May 2014
Fantasy
What is this ****?
This intangible thing I can't seem to overcome
It's all sorts of things that go bump, and I can't really define
Everything I've come to understand has been a lie
and I really did believe, now everything is crumbling under
the weight of my running away, because in this life
there really isn't anything to believe, nor anything to hold,
as if the point of my life was to understand, and come to find out
There's nothing to see, nothing to hear, nothing to feel,
just the epiphany that all there is to life is now, there's no tomorrow
no yesterday, and everything spinning in circles in the mind
is a fantasy.

This idea of carrying on, or of disappearing forever,
of me, and of space and time, it disappears in quite solitude
but to give it up, is another thing all together, because
thoughts are very convincing, they start out few
and eventually there amassed in numbers so great
that the idea of silence and of peace becomes just that
another idea.
Continue reading...
May 2014 · 307
In Due Time
Nobody May 2014
In Due Time
This life is a ride in which I've seen visions of a path
formed and suited to fit all that I have seen and done.
As all is waiting to be created and spun

Pain exchanged for wisdom of everything I love
and If you follow this rhyme from line to mind
from ignition to exhaust, it will leave you
in the mud and exhaling dust.

I have yet to give words of advice
I suffice to say it's hard to express
but in due time they will follow
and find their way, though the sun peaks from
clouds withered in silence as they slowly decay

They will follow in many forms and steps
through this deceptive circle of monotone color

in a time where inspiration is hard to find
I'll live by the word of everything they find absurd

So in the eyes of time let your existence have meant
the world to all whom see your light and they will follow

through this place as hell as it was written in this
hollow graveyard of broken wealth, till the end of time it'self.
Continue reading...
May 2014 · 423
Betrayal
Nobody May 2014
Betrayal
Oh how it hurts, the warmth of your voice and the shattering of my heart
when you whip venom into my mind with the flipping of your tongue.

This isn't how it used to be, when the stars lit up the skies
in all directions around me, and everything still felt ok.

Oh, how much more can I bare? My heart is filled with angst,
angst, fear, jealously and hate.

Oh how these things poison my mind, and each time I try to shed my skin
and be reborn into something, someone, anything better,
you find a way back into my heart, and into my mind
and my pain only grows, and each time you leave me more frail.
Fragile, and on the edge like a star that's on it's last leg
about to burst every last bit of it's beauty across the universe
and die a slow agonizing death.

And it will be the last of you, the last of me. Thing's might of been better
but I fear it will never be that way, for the life of me, it's all been a cruel joke
and every soft bit of my heart, has been torn apart and replaced with scabs

but even scabs are chewy enough for your pointy teeth.
Continue reading...
May 2014 · 710
To Exist
Nobody May 2014
To Exist
What does it mean to exist? How absurd this experience!
If life leads me in any direction; it is a pursuit to understand
How beautiful, maddening; that this life shrines through the darkness
lighting up the universe in all it's infinite diversity.

This moment spirals through time, winding; un-winding and falling to ashes,
it's like a beautiful song, a symphony so complex just to hear it's faint echo
is to stare god in the eyes; it is a dance; and I've been dancing forever
seeing just how far ahead I can run; before I catch me.

You see I want to capture the truth; and bottle it for my pleasure;
like holding a flame in a jar; just to say I found you; and I'll never let you go.

The trouble in capturing something so beautiful; is the moment it's no longer free
it ceases to be beautiful; ceases to be it'self, like a butterfly that's lost it's wings.

But I feel drawn, compelled, like a ghost being beckoned by a distant voice;
and I must find the other side of this tug; this pull.

I imagine a truth so complete, that I could die in that instant forever fulfilled;
and I must have it, even if doing so causes my complete annihilation.

For I will have seen the mind of god.
Continue reading...
May 2014 · 10.3k
Reality
Nobody May 2014
Reality
What is there to do when your mind's a mess?
The worlds a farce and everything is just too much.
I hide my face in worlds hardly seen, where reality is thin
and gods and demons roam in-between.

For me peace is only found in dreams, or when
there's a disconnect between myself and the world
usually found in a dose or ten of my favorite pill.

Solitude has been my best friend since I entered
this world, and much hasn't changed, I see the roles
know the cues, but I've never felt like I belong

Often times when I'm feeling blue, I can even lose myself
in my favorite tunes. Eventually I have to face it
you know', the one thing that never ceases.

“Reality is that which when you stop believing in it doesn't go away.”

And there it is, the thing we all must face, in differing ways
and in changing paces, eventually we all must face our inner demons
and I must say they have many faces.
#reality
Continue reading...
Aug 2012 · 501
Vice
Nobody Aug 2012
Vice
The only thing that shines anymore
is the way the world stops and everything comes to a hazzy crawl
when I take this poison everything that spins in circles
just doesn't hurt so much anymore,
all my friends are inside my head, and the world
just keeps getting further away, I don't mind this little cell I'm in,
at least not today.

When I find a way to escape from this mess, I just may
find myself without much of a mind anymore anyway,
I've never found the thing I've been searching for,
only found my mind in pieces and i'm still looking for the cure
Continue reading...
Aug 2012 · 623
Demons
Nobody Aug 2012
Demons
When you've seen the things I've seen,
it's hard to let go, this special world I've created
is like a beautiful painting with it's own sonnet
and when im there I feel alive.

Life is spent in moments, and all that we are
is defined by the roads we take

and I want to take the difficult route, the one
that rewards you forever, but I keep finding ways
to betray everything I need, by continuing to take
everything that I want

It's not easy when your mind is full of demons,
I keep fighting when I should be standing still,
and I stand still when I should be walking away,

I can clearly see my mistakes
but I continue to make the wrong choices anyway.
Continue reading...
Aug 2012 · 623
Dreaming
Nobody Aug 2012
Dreaming
By the time you take a look, it's gone
fleeting moments ride out their days
in the oceans of my mind

The *** of gold luring me to the end
is as much a phantom, as the rainbow road
leading me there

And the many detours into hell
leave me a little bit lighter each time
and perhaps I should be more wary
of peace, than of the many torments
that seem to be blocking my way

for if I ever find lasting peace, I've probably
traded the truth, for a very beautiful dream.
Continue reading...
Aug 2012 · 595
Illusions
Nobody Aug 2012
Illusions
There's a universe inside the mind,
distinct from what comes in from the eyes
and the ears and the skin.

It's echos move like ripples over disturbed water
and it speaks in momentary flashes of thoughts
emotions, feelings.

It's en-caged by our own limited ideas, and concepts
but when you set it free, it begins to come alive
it moves like a tree sprouting fourth from a seed

There's a universe inside your mind, and you'd never know it
because the moment you try to capture it, all you've caught
are the feathers of the beautiful bird as it flies away.
Continue reading...

— The End —