It waits until you leave the room to resume. It doesnt count the minutes on the stopwatch until you'll be back, but it counts the rhythm of your steps as you leave. What if my heart doesnt know how to let go around you. What if it can't be forgiving. Having heart just means your living, what if I can't live with what you are. What if what you are is who I need to be. But what if I cant breathe.

And for my fears that aren't for arts sake, are truly mine, and I'm once alone again in my mind.

If I'm to feel the shake of your winds gather the leaves from the trees will the rain fall down brushing my skin gently. Will the cleanse chill my skin, cause me to shiver or recoil? Will it touch my heart and cause a typhoon like the tears over missing you, its been years since I last knew what to do.

Night has fallen around my feet like wilting petals off of dead roses. Surrounded by the void. Captivated my eyes- staring into the nothingness, as the nothingness stares into me. I think it recognizes me. It might dare to even call me friend.

And that which coats my lungs, holds tight my throat. Begging me to go limp and surrender. But tomorrow will be sun. Tomorrow will be day. And I will no longer have to battle this fear alone.

Friendship is a playground. Monkey bars and Slides. Swings and See-Saws. Slung arms around necks and giggles echoing throughout plastic tunnels. Climbing up, up, up- only to hurt yourself falling down. Sometimes there will be the same slung arm around your neck to carry you to help. Sometimes you lay on the ground for minutes that feel like hours and wonder if no one saw you fall, or maybe everyone else just decided to go home instead. Sometimes you look at an empty playground and see an abandoned circus with joy that use to be there only to be lost, nothing but a memory to the metal toys that once held everyone I have loved. Every piece still in its place but frozen in its child-like wonder.