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7d · 300
Autmn T 7d
While I cry to myself in the mirror, she'll be admiring every creak in my bones.
Mar 26 · 20
Autmn T Mar 26
My ***** is stuck in my throat
Hair stuck in its bun
Is it always going to feel like this?
Late nights ending in ****** throats and ripped out hair, begging, pleading with the world to stand still.
Mar 26 · 27
Please Stop.
Autmn T Mar 26
Lying is the gift that keeps on giving.
Mar 12 · 105
Autmn T Mar 12
For now I am you, and You are I, we will both collide into the sky.
Feb 18 · 74
Burn the Tastebuds Off
Autmn T Feb 18
One measly lie will taint the taste of truth in my mouth for lifetimes to come.
Feb 13 · 102
Autmn T Feb 13
I open up and let the light creak out, for your eyes are not blind and your heart is still beating. So why does your breath stay still? Are you not in awe of a mythical woman willing to invite you in? Oh, What a shame, what a shame.
Everyone's a cynic.
Jan 19 · 35
Self Taught
Autmn T Jan 19
This is for Goddesses: You're not meant to know how to feed the freezing out of the palm of your hands, how to help the dying feel alive. You dont know how to love a broken thing back together.
Jan 19 · 22
Autmn T Jan 19
I dont need to be seen, just heard. By anyone.
Autmn T Jan 2
If the rain doesn't hit my feet, how do I know it's real? If the fire isn't heating my skin, how do I know if it hurts? If the bombs aren't blowing smoke, how do I know that I'm suffocating. Why do I learn when it's too late, when I'm already caught in the crossfire.
Jan 2 · 106
Ill meet you halfway
Autmn T Jan 2
Why does "I love you" fit like a puzzle in my mouth? I think I'm missing the last piece of you. I'll ready the rest for when it's found.
Jan 2 · 47
Autmn T Jan 2
The only guaranteed thing you'll ever have in life is choices.
"There's no such thing as not choosing"
Dec 2019 · 36
Into the Darkness
Autmn T Dec 2019
For I am you and you are me, and most importantly we are here. Our story is never ending, we have all of eternity to be anything we could ever dream of. We'll be the love they show in history books to say 'These..  These were the brave ones who made it '
Dec 2019 · 284
Autmn T Dec 2019
And for your love I'd skip through oceans and sing the sea foam lullabies. For they themselves know your love, unforgiving and harsh in its beauty. One of a love that I'd beg for mercy, I wouldnt do it any other way. Your waves engulfing me in love and taking away my breath.
Love had never felt so gentle and so fervent.
Autmn T Dec 2019
It waits until you leave the room to resume. It doesnt count the minutes on the stopwatch until you'll be back, but it counts the rhythm of your steps as you leave. What if my heart doesnt know how to let go around you. What if it can't be forgiving. Having heart just means your living, what if I can't live with what you are. What if what you are is who I need to be. But what if I cant breathe.
Dec 2019 · 26
Why I Cry in the Shower
Autmn T Dec 2019
I step out of my armor
and into the stream of consciousness, stuck in between these four walls
closing in on my warm body.
My eyes start to flutter close and my heart starts to riot.
For I couldnt think 'when was the last time I fought these feelings?'
The last time I had them, I had let myself drown.
Dec 2019 · 78
Writing Out of Fear
Autmn T Dec 2019
And for my fears that aren't for arts sake, are truly mine, and I'm once alone again in my mind.
Autmn T Dec 2019
If I'm to feel the shake of your winds gather the leaves from the trees will the rain fall down brushing my skin gently. Will the cleanse chill my skin, cause me to shiver or recoil? Will it touch my heart and cause a typhoon like the tears over missing you, its been years since I last knew what to do.
Nov 2019 · 32
Autmn T Nov 2019
Night has fallen around my feet like wilting petals off of dead roses. Surrounded by the void. Captivated my eyes- staring into the nothingness, as the nothingness stares into me. I think it recognizes me. It might dare to even call me friend.
Nov 2019 · 183
For My Brother
Autmn T Nov 2019
And that which coats my lungs, holds tight my throat. Begging me to go limp and surrender. But tomorrow will be sun. Tomorrow will be day. And I will no longer have to battle this fear alone.
Oct 2019 · 201
Displaced Playground
Autmn T Oct 2019
Friendship is a playground. Monkey bars and Slides. Swings and See-Saws. Slung arms around necks and giggles echoing throughout plastic tunnels. Climbing up, up, up- only to hurt yourself falling down. Sometimes there will be the same slung arm around your neck to carry you to help. Sometimes you lay on the ground for minutes that feel like hours and wonder if no one saw you fall, or maybe everyone else just decided to go home instead. Sometimes you look at an empty playground and see an abandoned circus with joy that use to be there only to be lost, nothing but a memory to the metal toys that once held everyone I have loved. Every piece still in its place but frozen in its child-like wonder.
Oct 2019 · 40
"Green Thumb"
Autmn T Oct 2019
Once the seed of doubt is planted, it takes over the garden, infecting healthy roots and making them docile and weak, unable to stand when the wind gets tough.
Oct 2019 · 38
Autmn T Oct 2019
You're always the bad guy in my dreams, what if my subconscious knows you better than me
Sep 2019 · 203
My Starlight Boy
Autmn T Sep 2019
Starlight boy, made of constellations, you are my guiding light. You carry the sky, or are you the sky. The waves of purple to navy to black, a collection of your shades. Every one as beautiful as the last. Your night sky never gets tiring to look at. Shifting, moving, covered, but forever there. Within and without, miles from where we are but so close I feel like I could reach out and touch you. So present and so distant, you my starlight boy are a collision of feigned hearts and scrabbled messages. You’re so hard to read, but it’s all never made so much sense until I saw you. So sing me sleepy and say goodbye before sunrise interrupts your melody. But I’ll see you again my love, every night I have left on this Earth, I’ll look towards you.
You will be with me forever, every night.
Sep 2019 · 193
Don’t Save Me, Trust Me
Autmn T Sep 2019
And the boys see your tears as nectar. Flocking, not seeing the cyanide flowing from your eyes, wanting to be the savior. They’ll never be the anecdote, but, after all, a savior isn’t needed, just wanted.
You won’t save me but I won’t ask you to stop trying either.
Aug 2019 · 119
How to Not Get Better
Autmn T Aug 2019
I do not know how to not spiral. I don't know how to catch myself when I fall. I don't know how to put up my hands and make the darkness turn to light. I don't know how to sleep when tonight won't strike 12. I can wait, but then I sit. Waiting for the moon to tell me that it will be the last thing I see and it will be beautiful. But what if I cant bring myself to believe it? What if 12 never comes? What if it never leaves? What if Im stuck there? What if theres just always another 12 to wait for in the inevitable tomorrow? What if I dont make it there?
I dont know how to not dwell.
Aug 2019 · 45
Autmn T Aug 2019
And for the butterflies dont migrate through and straight. We all must be ready to move to the will of the winds.
Autmn T Aug 2019
Shameful to feed your kids breastmilk in public, but yet we will feed them bullets in their public schools.
Annoyed with the urgency some people treat something natural and the dismissive nature they treat something urgent.
Autmn T Jul 2019
Ive been dealt this switchblade been shown where to put it up to my neck to draw the most blood. You taught me how to make it all painful. And as hard as I try to, I cant forget how.
Jul 2019 · 194
Autmn T Jul 2019
If loose lips sink ships then your mouth must be a graveyard.
Jun 2019 · 36
Are You God?
Autmn T Jun 2019
I dont know if I believe in a God. I just need something to believe in. Because you left and took with you everything I thought I knew.
Jun 2019 · 105
It Cant Stay Here
Autmn T Jun 2019
Art isnt suppose to be perfect. Art is the broken concrete on the sidewalk. The one you trip on and and become bloodied and bruised. Its the decaying flower you have to pull up from the roots before it infects the growth around it. Its the crack of your voice when defending everything you believe. Its preventing the perfection in everything else you cherish from becoming damaged.
Listening to Girlpool and thinking about comments made that their voices are too high and scratchy and not "studio voices". My point of Art is release, not perfection.
Jun 2019 · 107
For the Farewells
Autmn T Jun 2019
As you leave, please remember who eased the pain for you to let go.
Autmn T Jun 2019
And as I bathed in milk, it became curdled. My heart eventually turning everything sour. It is a magic trick only I know.
May 2019 · 44
Autmn T May 2019
My skin burns at eyes and my heart winces. Im like a turtle, retreating back into her shell, hiding from the glare of the sun. Long enough and it starts a fire.
May 2019 · 48
Autmn T May 2019
Goddess of Spring and Queen of the Underworld. Rearranging the decor at deaths door, she took the man by the hand and started dancing in the despair. Reborn was her body, growing mold in her hair, pomegranate seeds in her teeth. Hell hath no fury like a woman accustomed there.
May 2019 · 112
Autmn T May 2019
You never hear about third chances. Im scared there's no such thing.
May 2019 · 146
Passive Agression
Autmn T May 2019
And the people who are extensions of you breathe monoxide and speak with the sound of shrewd drills. I can't help but hear your voice through their wreckage.
“When you have to make a choice and don't make it, that is in itself a choice.” -William James
May 2019 · 58
Autmn T May 2019
And when I tuck you in at night, I hope you feel safe, wrapped tightly in my locust lullabies.
Autmn T Apr 2019
I use to believe in life after death
Nowadays I feel lucky to believe in life while Im still living it
Humanity is worth what when the humans are twisted?
Apr 2019 · 47
Autmn T Apr 2019
As long as the stars return to your eyes
Ill follow you to sun down
I'll walk with you to eternity
And make the heavens regret ever questioning us
I want God to know you're my forever
Apr 2019 · 106
Who's Left
Autmn T Apr 2019
Your kiss pressed against the ashes
left of me

Do I still taste like who I once was.
How are you suppose to love me when I dont even remember who I am
Mar 2019 · 164
Autmn T Mar 2019
This love is ours,
I hope to be a greenhouse
Our love growing and dancing in the sunlight
We will keep this love safe
We will not only be preserved, but we will flourish
Mar 2019 · 44
Lilith Conquest
Autmn T Mar 2019
Tender Shadow
Reckoning of will
Big girl with little girl fire
Tantrum turned Sapphire
Face the drums
Feel the beat
Fight back with such intensity
Kiss the ground when you leave
Feel her sacred earth return to you
When you turn around, it will be the flames that you see
Mar 2019 · 234
Autmn T Mar 2019
I want to give you infinity. Bloom immunity. This could be our forever.
Mar 2019 · 70
Half Full
Autmn T Mar 2019
Half full is our glass
Easily cracked but not easily broken
Id consume you but then
Nothing would be left to show
Half full and no place to go
Feb 2019 · 52
Autmn T Feb 2019
Everything has lead to you
Time and time of passing glances
Coincidences aren't a fairytale
But they lead me to mine
And you, my prince, are the only one who has made me believe in fate
Feb 2019 · 76
Our Hearts Just Knew
Autmn T Feb 2019
I've known you for mere years, but our love feels like its survived centuries of circumstance.
Feb 2019 · 137
Flora over Erato
Autmn T Feb 2019
And the thought of her stains my mind, she's like the muse youve been looking to find.  And to her- I cannot compare, the beautiful girl with flowers in her hair.
Jan 2019 · 132
Red Blood, Red Fires
Autmn T Jan 2019
When Heaven says 'no more entrance', Hell's going to start taking volunteers
Autmn T Jan 2019
Forever in love,
Your eyes are the hands of time
Holding me gently
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