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. (Mythology Re-Imagined As Fairy-Tale & Deconstructed) .

No one recalls when he arrived.
He was already there, in the corners of high rooms.
Carried in on wind or instinct.
Too composed to belong, too still to be ignored.

He wasn't from the sea, though he stared at it often.
Stared like a man who missed something he never touched.
He lived above things—above feeling, above endings.
He wore distance like other men wear charm.

And she—well.
She wasn’t where she was supposed to be.

---

They said she’d been sealed beneath water before time had a name.
Not drowned. Not sleeping.
Just paused.

A beauty left half-sketched.
A song trapped on the bridge, never reaching the chorus.
She existed in the almost.
The kind of presence that ruins men who believe in silence.

No one put her there.
But something had.
Something old and silver-lipped, a clockmaker with no face.

---

When he found out, he didn’t shout.
Didn’t storm.
Storms are for men who want to be heard.

He simply started unmaking himself.

Small things, at first:

Giving away secrets he never told.

Letting starlight fall from his shoulders like ash.

Standing in rooms long enough for people to forget he was tall.

Eventually, he gave away the last thing he had—
the part of him that never wanted anything.

And that was enough.

---

She came back like foam curling over marble.
Not as a lover. Not as a reward.
As weather.

She passed him by.

Looked at the space he’d vacated inside himself
and nodded, as if to say: “Yes. That will do.”

---

After that, things changed.

She walked through the city like someone who could end it.
Touched doorframes and left them trembling.
Spoke only when the sentence would shatter something.

He, on the other hand,
was seen less and less.
Not gone—just thinned out, like smoke after a gunshot.

---

Some say he became the silence in her laugh.
Others claim he left, unfinished, like a poem crumpled in a lover’s pocket.
No one’s sure.

But if you ask the sea just right—
after midnight, after mirrors—
you’ll hear it whisper:

“He let go of the sky, so she could walk through it.”

{fin}
There's a pail
just over there.
Yesterday it was brimming
with things unwanted.
I empty it every morning
and it's always full again
by the time the sun sets.

A fail pail,
a ****-it bucket.

A sacred place
to where I send
all my unwelcome thoughts.
Every drip of them.
I wring out my brain
and watch the colors
slip between my fingers.

I watch the things unwanted,
I watch them puddle and fill and swirl and mix and stain and fight and **** and claim and dry and crack and steep and warm and cool and dance alllllllll together. They dance all together now, bouncing off the walls of
                                                           that pail.

Just over there.

I can always see it. Always.

Always in the periphery. Never out of my sight. I need it near me every day and all **** night. Just in case I wake from sleep thinking something that I don't want to think so I can send it off to join the rest of the misbegotten children spawned by my head.
You urged me to leave, to fly,

to conquer this life.

But my wings feel heavy,

a descent into the raw, relentless pain

of a love that both shaped us and shattered us,

leaving wounds that time only deepens.



Music is stained by you,

you’re woven into every note,

recalling to me both what you gave

and what you took away.

Your pain bleeds through every lyric,

questioning me,

forcing me to question myself:

Is it my memory that chains you to the dark?

When will songs ever lose your echo?



I hope you found peace in my songs for you.

And they make your soul rest,

like it did in my arms.

My love falling around you

like a perfect harmony,

a warm melody that lingers,

but that failed to heal.
This was written for the kind of love that carves itself into every song you hear, even long after it’s gone. The kind that feels like both your beginning and your undoing. I wrote this from the space where music becomes memory, and memory becomes mourning. If you’ve ever loved someone so deeply that even silence hums with their echo, this is for you.
Tell me truly who you are,
not from afar, but to my ear.
Do not fear:  I shall not castigate,
excoriate. Dissemble not:  No
equivocation. prevarication.
Tell me truly what's in your heart.
Is terror there, or guilt? Rage ablaze
from needs unmet? Do unhealed hurts
leave you reeling in a maelstrom of
doubt? Open up your heart
and let your agonies fly out.
In gentle ways let us discuss
worth of self. Let light penetrate hate,
mollify madness, assuage pain.
Let your forthcoming,
my love for your realness,
heal us both.

TOD HOWARD HAWKS
You seem to alternate
Between viewing your
Own mind as an
Unstoppable force
And as an
Inescapable curse
The only truly
Unapproachable
Concept for you is
That it's your mind
Within your control
  Jun 23 Palindromic Angel
Zerin Q
I wear a smile like borrowed skin, but underneath I cave within, a haunted house with hollow halls, where love just echoes off the walls.
I laugh on cue, I play my part, but fear runs rampant through my heart, each kindness offered feels unearned - like warmth misplaced, or bridges burned.
You say I'm good, you say I'm strong, but I have felt so wrong, so long, these hands have trembled through the years, have held regret, have held back tears.
If love is light, then I am dusk - a fading shape, a shell of trust, you reach for me like I'm still whole, but can't you feel the missing soul?
I see the way your eyes go soft, like love is easy, like I'm not lost, and every word you give so true, I twist and turn, then doubt it too.
I don't know why you even try - what part of me could qualify for tenderness you freely give, to someone still too scared to live?
You speak of stars, of second chances, of finding peace in broken stances, but I've been shattered far too wide, I've learned to keep the hurt inside.
My past is not a tale I share - it sit like smoke in stagnant air, and every flaw I try to hide still stains the walls I build inside.
I walk through life with quiet dread, with battles raging in my head, and though you hold my trembling hand, I still don't think you understand.
I'm not the one in fairytales, I'm not the heart that never fails, I'm worn, I'm bruised, I'm far from new, I don't know why you love me too.
Each time you say you care, I flinch - my heart pulls back inch after inch, because deep down I still believe that love is something I can't receive.
I've practiced silence, shame, and doubt, built walls too thick to figure out, I've learned to wait for things to end, even love that tries to bend.
So if you leave, I won't ask why, I'll just let go, I'll just comply, you deserve someone sure and strong, not someone who feels always wrong.
But if you stay, despite it all - the distant stare, the frightened call, then maybe, slowly, I could learn that even ruins still can burn.
And maybe love's not earned or owed, but something given just to hold, still, I confess, I don't yet see what makes you think there's good in me.
So here I stand, unsure, afraid, a heart unstitched, a life mislaid, but if you love this shattered frame, perhaps there's more than just the shame.
And though I doubt, and though I break, if you still stay for my own sake, then maybe I could start to be a little less unworthy - a little more... just me.
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