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You could be so pretty
if
your hair was straight
or at least neat 
and not fire engine red

You could look so lovely
If 
you didn't insist on wearing
tatty jeans
Yellow Dr Marten boots
Dropkick Murphys tees
and you weren't covered in tattoos

You could have a better life
If
You hadn't married
that blue eyed
empty pocket
*** smoking
dreamer

You could have more time to clean
If 
you didn't waste it
writing pointless poems
with your head in the clouds
listening to that awful racket

You could be more ladylike
If 
you didn't attend protests
railing against politics
didn't smoke, drink,
swear like a sailor
and stayed away from mosh pits.

You could be better
If 
you were a lot more me
and a hell of a lot less you
After all I've done
You were not what I was expecting..

Well, it was good talking to you
I love you mum
I love you too..
Lets do this again soon!
 May 2014 Hayleigh
Aysha Ahmed
I lay on my bed
Faced down in my pillow
I choke and I drown
Deep in my sorrow

The one thing
That made sense to me.
Has crashed and broken
How can this be?

To an irretrievable end
Does our relationship turn.
Why do you make me cry so much?
Why do you make me yearn?

I didn't deserve
To be treated like this,
I didn't want us
To end up in this ****.

From when we met,
To us standing here today
Baby it's all changed
You've gone so far away.

There's no trust
There's no confidence
There's no togetherness
Tell me why we're in this mess.

The fact that you cheated
The fact that you lied.
The fact that you made me,
Curl up n cry.

Night after night
I want the pain to stop.
If you still want me,
taking me for granted needs to stop.

Everyone tells me,
Just walk away,
You don't deserve this pain
You'll get over him one day

The fact is I still love you
And it hurts me to think,
Of a life without you.
It's like a pen with no ink.
 May 2014 Hayleigh
Aysha Ahmed
She sits there in a corner,
Shuts herself away,
She doesn't speak a word,
She doesn't know what to say.

The only thing
That keeps her breathing
Is the hope and the dreams
That she wants to come true.

Things get bad,
She faces them alone,
A one woman army
With no fear in her bones.

She's amazing in every way,
She's flawless
Baby I don't care what they say.
Don't ever think of yourself as less.

She's my angel,
Saving me from destruction,
My suicide attempts fail,
She's my obstruction.

Words can't express
How much I admire this woman,
She's my world,
My universe.

I get hurt,
She feels my pain.
Her calm soothing words,
Take all my stresses away.

Her love and support
Is second to none.
I need it like oxygen,
I need it like the sun.

To shine on me
When my days are dark.
To enlighten me
When I can't see the path.

This amazing woman truly is
One in a million,
My best friend,
My sister,
My everything,
Baby I'll love you forever!
 May 2014 Hayleigh
Akemi
unspoken
 May 2014 Hayleigh
Akemi
I’m stray desire
Mottled words and voice
Barren constitution trapped in
White ******* noise
8:39pm, May 24th 2014

We want what we can't have.

Few thoughts leave our mouths.
 May 2014 Hayleigh
Akemi
hazy eyes
 May 2014 Hayleigh
Akemi
I can’t lose your taste
Wistful in defeat
Like April blooms
Wilting in hazy noons
10:58pm, May 24th

Her scent clings to everything.
 May 2014 Hayleigh
Akemi
binge lover
 May 2014 Hayleigh
Akemi
Her head disintegrates
Like the end of a cigarette
Falling into the wrinkles
And folds
Of my skin
11:35pm, May 25th 2014

Drunk exs are the worst.
 May 2014 Hayleigh
Sally A Bayan
Feeling numb, even blind, i am deaf,
i don't want to move or react anymore...
i feel my soul depart from me,
it moves, light as a feather
skimming above deep waters...

my eyes have this fixed gaze
as i drown in a river of tears...
I have wept unceasingly,
day and night....

my feet....

they struggle, wading on sad waters,
the current is harder to deal with, this time...
The sand underneath, softer,
I am
almost sinking....

angels, good souls surround me
easing pain, watching,
pulling me up, so i may not go deeper...

i know,
i feel their love...
but the hurt,
it is all over me...

i am torn between
pain and duties...

i feel the
space
of being alone,

because...

i want to be alone,

to sink
lower

deeper.

~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~

b u t,

this sense of selflessness,
it prevails...
for their very sake....
i must be with them...hold their hands...
lead them through...

they, that surround me...
they are, what's left of me,
they are...the rest of me...


it is most transparent...
i could feel it... now...

there is joy...found in pain...



Sally

Copyright 2014
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
Thinking of Maria...
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