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Aysha Ahmed Feb 2017
I used to think
I was reasonably strong.
Right until
You came along.

You tore down my wall
With just one look.
It felt like you knew me for centuries
You read me like a book.

The memories still linger
With other thoughts in my head.
What if I wasn't his,
But I was yours instead.

I dreamt big,
Bigger than I though it could.
You taught me how to
I never thought I would.

Now I'm getting my dream holiday,
It was our dream.
But it's not with you.
What do I do?

Every time I think about it
I break a little more inside.
But you broke me and left me,
Left me here to die.

It kills me slowly everyday,
The fact that I'll never hear you say,
"I love you Aysha,
And I'm here to stay"

Stay in my life,
That's all I ever asked,
Don't shut me out,
Especially not when I need you.

I need you
More than ever right now.
I need you to hold me up
When all I want to do is break down.

You're my biggest strength
But also my greatest weakness.
Aysha Ahmed Feb 2017
When the nights are long
And I can't sleep a wink.
My brain won't shut off
All I do is think.

The thoughts in my head
Would scare you away.
But promise me one thing,
That you're here to stay.

Don't leave me behind
Like you have done before.
My heart can't take it,
My mind is at war.

The last time we spoke
It was meant to be goodbye.
You were meant to move on
And not come back into my life.

I was starting to get over you
And all the pain you left behind.
Now you've come back,

Maybe it's true what they say
Once you have that
Once in a lifetime love.
Things can never turn back.

Iv tried everything
Besides ripping my heart out.
I doubt that would even work,
You'd still be there.

You're engraved In my heart
You're in my blood,
Look at us now.
I wish I knew where I stood
Aysha Ahmed Jan 2017
We met today
After a very long time.
It felt strange.
But in a good way.

Talking about
How everything's changed.
You're sad that we went
Our separate ways.

Baby I never meant to hurt you
I didn't know how you felt.
I distanced myself from everyone
It made sense.

My life was a mess
I would have dragged you down too.
I didn't think you're stick by me,
It was too good to be true.

You're successful
And accomplished,
Baby I'm a mess.

I thought it was just fun,
The times that we had.
My heart was torn,
From the memories we shared.

I didn't know you wanted me
And what you felt was true.
I thought it was impossible,
For there to be me and you...
Aysha Ahmed Dec 2016
Yes I still think
About us
About the times we had
About what we shared.

I know I shouldn't
But I can't help it.
You were my first love

Nobody made me
Feel the way you did
Nobody made me
Fall the way you did

Kissed my scars
Knew what's really in my heart
Not like you did.

I know we've said
Our last goodbyes.
I know you have
Moved on with life.

But I can help it,
I lay awake and wonder.
Do you ever think of me
Miss me even?

Your touch made everything
Your words made everything
Feel surreal

Like nothing ever happened
Like I wasn't so broken
Like the world was at my feet
I only had to reach.
Aysha Ahmed Dec 2016
You're so beautiful
You're amazing
You're my Disney princess

Lie to me again
I dare you.
Tell me you want me again
I dare you.

Break me down
Threaten me.
Overpower me and
Try to **** me.

Do it all over again
I dare you.
Tell me I'm your world again
I dare you.

Honey you don't know
What love is.
Don't act like you do.

Love and lust
Are two different things.
One is comprised of beauty
The other of pain.

Iv been there before
Been pushed to the ground.
I got back up
And I'm standing proud.

You attempt to contact me.
But darling it's pointless.
You don't deserve a place
In my heart or in my life.

I gave u 3 months,
Which went from heaven
To hell.
You proved your worth.

Worth nothing more
Than a pile of crap,
That's all your words and lies were,
A load of ****.

Don't try and come back,
I won't reply
I won't give u the satisfaction.
I'll make you wish you died!!
Aysha Ahmed Oct 2016
When I lay in bed
And wish you were here.
I think of everything we've  done
Everything we've been through

When I cant think straight
And things are so bad.
I call u to save me
From the thoughts in my head.

When I'm happier than ever
On top of the world.
I wish you're there to see me
To smile and say you're proud.

You look at me,
Like I'm the only one.
Me and you,
The perfect love song.

Honeymooning in Bali,
Bulgari rings.
I hope you know my love
It was never about the things.

I love you for you,
How the butterflies erupt
Everytime I see your face.

To be in your arms
And have you hold me close
That is my last dying wish
Before my body goes cold.

I'll be forever in your heart
If you want me to be.
I'll live there with u
For the rest of eternity
Aysha Ahmed Oct 2016
Welcome to the O2 voicemail service.
The words so repetitive
So familiar
In my head.

Countless calls
Countless messages.
Countless times,
Sitting here reminiscing

Reminiscing the times we had
The FaceTime calls,
The times we spent together,
True love conquers all.
That's what you said.

Now that Iv said goodbye
The world feels like
It's crashing and burning.
The earth swallowing me whole.

Yes it hurt to say goodbye
More than you will ever know.
The few tears you saw
They wernt just for show.

My whole world collapsed
I didn't plan for this to happen.
I thought about it a lot,
Yet it still killed me.

You can't delay the inevitable
That's what people say.
But the pain is still there
I don't think I'll be ok.

Maybe it would have been better
For us to drift apart.
But baby I wouldn't have told u,
All the things that broke my heart.
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