There's a smell, that rolls in with the budding dogwoods and the billowing thunderheads of Spring.
It says "I am familiar. Have you ever heard of Deja Vu? She is my sister."
Imagine if the creatures that live in the wood could speak the prophecies of the coming season.
They say "Listen to the rain in all of its glittering brokenness. It knows more about falling than anyone else."
You and I could lay in the grass for hours and let the smell seep into our pounding hearts and still, I couldn't memorize why you ever fell out of love with me.
Maybe the rain does.

Dear old light,
old "what-if",
old "The One",

I wish I could remember more about our trip to Chicago. I think that I was so lost in the sheer lovesickness of it all. The long long days spent in that busy city, and the nights that I swear I could feel God inside me when we made love in our dreams.

If I had maybe paid a little more attention to the way you stared out at the lake and waited for the tide to take you, or maybe if I had taken more notice of the way your mouth didn't smile all the way, we'd be a different part of our lives right now. I thought I was the only one. I thought I was the only one.

I've asked the question so many times it's like the thought never leaves, but why did you keep on persuading me that I was your sun and moon when she was lingering on the back of your tongue while I kissed you with too much hunger and too little love? You should have left me alone, should have left me to starve on the side of my dimly lit road. But if I remember correctly, you devoured me with just as much greed as my body was willing to give.

I'm.....not as bitter. As I used to be. But that doesn't mean I'm not bitter at all. "I forgive you" would sound sweet coming out of my mouth except if I gave you that, you'd keep pulling more from the pits of my stomach and my heart. Or maybe I'd just keep throwing it up.

With some sort of forgiveness,
Claire
*(past regret)

Let's say...hypothetically...that you loved me
Would you have made it more clear?

Just for a minute...briefly...imagine that I hadn't loved you
Would I still have been left with all the ashes?

My heart is a plaything, I'll admit.
Your heart is a midsummer's evening, all delicate balance and heaving worry.
I'd like to think that I was a sort of awning for the rain that drenched you in sadness and fear that I'd cease to be your awning.
You were the rain.

Hopeless love is the most hopeful love there is in the fact that those who love hopelessly, are the ones who wish the hardest for the universe to make them both either the rain, or the awning.

my hope has grown flowers
and i am not afraid
of what i don’t know
and the days, all the days,
they cannot come fast enough
there is wonder growing in this earth
and the seasons will not erase it
the spring rains will not drown it
and the summer sun will not dry it
the autumn winds will not take it
and the winter will not **** it
my hope has grown flowers
and i am not afraid

Eve of Christmas Eve,
Cross-legged in my reindeer tights,
Sipping stew from a spoon,
Spoon should be bigger, stew needs more meat
More seasoning, I should adjust the ***
Simmering, boiling, stirring
Christmas record playing in the living room,
Lights above the door frame, lights about the fireplace
Lights on the trees outside in the drive

So it's warm in the kitchen, warm from cooking
Baking cookies, chopping onions
This old wood house gets cold but that's alright,
While we keep the fire alight
You'll come in from chopping firewood in the snow
Spin me round and bury into my neck, your icy nose
While I yelp
"Put me down!
Or else kiss the sugar and cookie dough that I missed
Off my cheeks, and just for good measure, my lips"
I forgot to hang mistletoe

It's eve of Christmas eve, my toes tucked under your thigh
Under this blanket we've curled within
There's nothing but a hunk of bread left on the table, the record's spent, and on the TV, credits roll.
A small plastic tree on your desk,
Presents in the closet ready to go
The fire laying low, as we drift asleep, the snow drifts grow outside,
I've got nothing left on my wishlist, no more dreams I can never unwrap, if you just promise...
No, just this is quite alright.

Today I waited for you,
to be the consoling one.
My heart was broken, you had a clue
Leaving me with no reply, I am so done.

Lover's heartbreak is nothing
Compared to what you're putting me through
Now here I am, weight of the air crushing
Without you

I can't find words worthy enough
to explain how tired I am
of being the friend or lover who cares more
All I needed was my best friend, but you couldn't do that for me