Some days I feel unformed
That despite all I've done
No matter how far I've come

And yet still
I've barely become

someone.

Does anybody else
hear a ringing in their ears

as they lie awake
with an unbearable ache

staring still at nothing
at 2 in the morning

There is an artist in me
Staring despondently
Lost and in disparity

They say you stare at the void
And it stares back at you

But here there be a blank canvas
Just as blank as me too.

A 9 mm handgun
In the hands of Mr. Policeman

Click click BANG BANG

Now the ground has a metallic tang
You greedy little  men in blue
Its always you who don't hold true

Click click BANG BANG
The innocent blood in your hands hang

How did it feel Mr. Policeman?

I  ******* hate this feeling

When something's clawing at my chest
And all I see is black darkness

When somethings gnawing at my mind
And all I can think about is my sadness

When I absolutely cant stop my eyes
from blurring with tears

When I have to bite my lips and clench my fists
Against the wave of emotions

When I want to juts **** it, rip my heart out
And stomp on it

When I have to punch the bathroom walls instead

When I have to stifle sobs against the pillow
or in the toilet cause it might echo

When I can't scream myself hoarse
can only pull at my hair and my skin
cant even scream my own name

God

I miss feeling good.

Dearest Mother
I’ve seen your tears
Basked in your smiles and bursts of ire
I’ve seen your hard work
Your hands are calloused,  worn, and brown
But they’re a gentle caress
As they smoothen my frown

Sweetest Mother
You’re all I’ve known
You raised me and loved me
Care is all you’ve ever shown
The taste of your cooking is the call of home
A flavor sweeter than a honeycomb

Joyous Mother,
I will always be grateful
Truly and forever
For all you’ve done

Remember I love you
So smile, laugh, and cry
It'll all be alright
Cause I’ll be here
Right by your side.