Like a stubborn flower
I'll bloom
but only in time

it's kind of one of those nights.
you know.
the one that makes you want to crash your car on the highway.

it's one of those nights.
where your phone is full of people.
but nobody is home.

and the only people you really want to talk to,
are the ones who decided you're no longer worth their time.
so out with a bang you go, my dear.

Little girl,

do not believe
-
not even for a second

that you matter to anyone.

i just want to rip the scars you left on me off

i just want to remove the thoughts of you from my mind

i just want to burn the image of you out of my thoughts

i just want to pretend like you no longer exist

****





                   you

I feel like people think I am some
*** crazed girl who is only using
Her girlfriend for ***.
But I can assure that I am not.
I love her with everything I have
And so much more.
Making love to her is a gift
That I am proud to share with her
And just because we can
Have nights spent together
On top of each other or
Entwined in each others words,
Does that make us a couple that
Is "going too fast"?
She is the first person in my life that
I am finally convinced that
Loves me fully and completely.
And maybe the making love is
Just an added bonus,
But that doesn't mean that I
Need it to love her anymore than
I already do.

Wether it's a peck
Or a long make out session
Under the stars
They all feel the same:
Every time my lips touch any
Part of your body I feel as if I have melted
Into your skin and am pouring into your pores.
I am traveling though your blood stream
Surfing on top of your blood cells and I am
Trying to seep into your heart
To be purified by the beauty and love
That is being made inside of you.

I love kissing you because every time I do,
You reassure me that there is a heaven
Wether it be on your lips or in
The stars.

Maybe we are poets
Maybe we are doomed
Maybe we are determined
Maybe you're my muse
Maybe I'm a dancer
Maybe I'm a lover
Maybe this is more
Maybe this is less
Maybe I was meant to hold your hand
Maybe I'm just dead
Maybe we kissed
Maybe we messed up
Maybe this is something
Maybe I'm sick in the head
Maybe I'm in love
Maybe I'm confused
Maybe I'm just searching
Maybe I've been lost
Maybe I found comfort
Maybe I did not
Maybe we're meant to love
Maybe we're meant to break
Maybe this will make sense
Maybe I'll never know
Maybe it'll be okay

Life is bitter sweet, though always there for the most delicate moments
Through the short bursts of truth that will leave you cold on the bathroom floor
covered in shaving foam and your own blood
The spinning record that tells you to cut your hair and to give up on her
It doesn't have that B-side you wanted  
Yes, life is Bitter sweet
Said the cab driver on the way to hospital
A close call was not enough
To hide that family secret
But bandages hid it well enough
Velvet linens and a torn Hallmark card must have made the day
After a promise to be polite
a swallow of another aspirin and a bus ride home
try another dose of razorblades until there are no more feelings left

so i guess you
         k
            n
                o
                   w

but i should have
              k
                  n
                      o
    ­                      w
                               n

this is how it would be.

everyone else already
                                k
                              ­       n
                                         e
                                              w
that.

i just wish i didnt
                            k
                               n
                                  o
                           ­         w
i was right.