Alone so long
Makes me question
whats so wrong
Is it how I look
The way I talk
Do I feel
And can you tell
It's all way to strong
Glaring at these stars
As streams run down my cheeks
I just want to know
What the hell I did wrong
Cause last I checked
I've given everything my all
Putting up a front
To get the Job Done
Making it seem
like I have it all
When really down deep
I'm falling to pieces
Begging the Lord please
To help me get some sleep

Hoping, wishing , dreaming
None of it easy
All the same meaning,
For the most part,
It's beauty to keep
wishing, hoping & dreaming
All keep us smiling
While fighting our battles
The faith we keep
That soon our
Hopes, wishes & dreams
Will come to be
All of what we've waited for
Battled for
Shed these tears for
Waiting for all
Dreams, wishes,  & hopes
To be our cure
Making our smiles real
And ridding the tears

Love all too
Rare and pure
No one would dare
And so it became clear
My love was not
Ever to be kept
Cause it eventually
Would give them a scare
Make them realize
My love was so pure
And ever so rare
That it had to be shared
Never kept for just one
It seems my heart
Love all too much
And that's what should be feared

Take a glance
I bet that view from the front
Makes you think
Oh **** she's cute
Curves and short
What cute little thing
Take a glance
But this time from the side
What do you see
I am no longer cute and small
This lower buldge of belly
Changes your view on me
You see the rolls
That Fat pushes out
From the waist below
My tummy can't compare
It's like it's hardly there
Now go back
Turn around
Take that glance from the front
Stomach not much
And below the waist not bad
Titts so big
Curves so nice
You'd think **** she's nice
Then you get that glance
From the side
You see my waist below
Hangs low & pushes out
Your views are no more
You're unsure what to think
Now imagine that
Imagine how I feel
Glancing in the mirror
Front view I look great
I should pull some guys
I turn to the side
And I'm put down
Negative words fill my head
There's no way
There's no how
This hanging fat, pushed far out
Has me hating myself
Giving me doubts
There's two views to me
One is great
The other isn't so
It hurts so much
To have let myself down
This lower buldge
Won't go away
If only I could stay
Being face forward
So no one could see
Just how big small I am

I will never be as pretty as art.
I will never be as soft spoken as poetry.
I will be chaos for I already am mayhem,
and there is nothing you or anyone else can do about it.