There is magic in a kiss
That tells a woman she is fire
That leaves her feeling weightless

There is enchantment in the touch
That makes a woman glow
That tells her she is desired

There is beauty in the tangles of love
Warm, soft, **** bodies
Stuck together in comfort

Let romance be your art
Your lips your paintbrush
Your fingers your palette

Paint her in love

A memory suppressed by thirty years
A face stained with biting tears
A life so full of irrational fears
I need you by my side

Like a pinata, I was a toy
Only to be broken, not to show joy
As quiet as a mouse, I was coy
I need you by my side

This all happened in my youth
As no one around me knew my truth
Like a fox "they" thought they were smooth
I need you by my side

They say I have a heart of gold
Despite the story I've never told
Forget all the drama that would unfold
I now can stand alone.

By my standards,
he is a ten.

I'm sure you're
laughing right now--
"ooohhhh, she think's
he's a TEN"--
but that's not
what I mean.

What I am trying to say is that,
on a scale from one to ten,
one being indicative of
experiencing little to no pain
and ten being indicative of
experiencing a pain whose presence
is capable of knocking the wind
straight out of me--
a pain that I do not
dare to fathom
for fear of prolonging it--
he was a hurricane.

My hurricane.

The eye of the storm,
his aloof ignorance
paralleled against the
violently cyclonic nature
of this heartache--
cacophonic in its impact
and blasphemous in
every context of the word
Love.

I don't think
getting caught in the rain
has ever hurt quite this much.

Yet,
I surrender to this hurt
the way the sea surrenders
to the Almighty Poseidon;
the way my feet surrender
to the rocks
tied round my ankles;
the way my soul surrenders
to its contusions
(so is a casualty
of a broken heart).

Still,
I imagine what it would be
like to kiss him
when I wake up in
the middle of the night,
lucid dreaming and
shivering against the bed sheets
(must be hypothermia,
I think;
the coldness of his
absence settling among the
loneliest parts of me).

I try to remind myself
that he was never
any happy ending of mine--
just an ending.
And something tells me
kissing him would feel
a little less
like thimbles
and a little more
like sewing needles.

After all,
he always did have
a way of silencing me,
my lips stitched together
into the most morbid
of embroideries.

Because god forbid
you dare question
a tempest--
even when he has
left you
to stew in your
own ruin--
for fear of provoking
his stormy wrath.

Part of me has
always been
afraid of him,
you know.  
Looking back now,
that should have been
my first indication
that I had been entertaining
an abusive relationship.

No,
he never laid a hand
on me.

But
I was terrified that
there would come a day
when he would eventually snap.

I can envision it--
ribs crack like lightning;
bruises congealing beneath
my eyes like grape jelly;
fingerprints seared
across my cheek;
my head held underwater
until I've stopped
breathing altogether.

Of course, there exists
more than one way
to destroy a person,
though he will claim
that he has done nothing
to wrong me.

Surely,
he would tell me that
I am just reading
too much into things.

S'pose it's your turn then,
darling.

Trace the brailed veins
of my shattered heart,
and feel all the ways
you have broken me so.

Let your eyes flit
across the expanse
of these water-logged stanzas--
and tell me,
does the poetry not speak
for itself?

Or does my drowning not suffice?

There's a hole in my heart,
(when you left me)
alone, afraid and unsure;
but the message of hate you sent
was more than I could endure;
so, I swept away that mess -
swept it right out of my door.

There's a pain in my soul,
(that still festers)
it follows me to bed,
it wakes me in the morning,
I can't get it out of my head;
I shudder at my thoughts,
wishing that you were dead.

Maybe then, I'd get some rest,
(maybe then, some peace)
put with you still alive,
my hurt will never cease;
if you were gone forever,
my life would have a new lease.

Somewhere, there's a shelter,
(in a place I never knew)
where the pain would fade away,
where my sorrow would not stew;
away from this turbulent storm,
and far away from you.

you can't escape your dangerous mind,
the way it tears at every toxic thought.
how within its dark depths, all you find,
is the regret of every battle you've fought.
against the monster roaring loud,
raging against the peace you seek.
like a lion rising up to **** and shroud,
thoughts as quick as a lightning streak.
when you're dying alone in your head,
with nobody to save you from yourself.
reach in my mind and take it instead.
for I'll lay all my life down myself.
my life is but a blink in infinite time,
but yours stretches endlessly onward.
i'll give you my head and heart to climb,
and see the only helpful words you've ever heard.
i, & love, & you.