No.1 I have a fear of heights and I'm okay with that because I fall for you every day which keeps me close enough to the ground that I feel safe.

No.2 The dark. I do not like the inability to see, imagine being trapped in a space with no light, nothing to reach for but just a void of emptiness. You cannot find a place much darker than a blackened, hallowed heart. There are no signs of life, with no trace of light. Yet you still managed to find your way around it, walking aimlessly as if you knew where to go. I was afraid of the darkness within, until you lit a flame inside Of me, trying to send a signal fire to my sanity.

No.3 spiders, nothing poetic I just think they are creepy. Eight legs of hell and they have no need on my life!

No.4 I imagine being on an island stranded alone knowing no-one could find me, while I sit there huddle next to a tree with no reason to move forward. I feel a warm touch press on my shoulder. I open my eyes, everything seems different the white scattered sand is now my bed. waves which held me back from moving forward, now my blanket which seems to feel heavier than a tsunami of depression and deep thoughts. I lay there stuck being buried by the sand and drown by waves. Being held down by my past and worries of my future. two hands lifted all the weight off me, I looked up and there she was, she grabbed me by the...

No.5 my heart is beating faster and faster as I run an endless marathon. My palms get sweaty, it gets harder to breathe as if I was trapped in space with no air tank. I try to push through I will not let myself drop out of this one so early. I have a fear to love, not of love but to love. I want to find it but I'm too afraid of letting myself become vulnerable as if I'm joining a war with no gun just my heart hoping not to get shot down but be accepted with open arms. I have scars and battle wounds from past wars. But for no reason, you lent a hand to patch me up. You showed me not all wars are worth fighting Alone, so we joined hands and walked strong. I am afraid to love, I am not afraid to say I love. I am afraid to say I love anyone who isn't you.

you were the wish my heart
could never throw down a well.

Alarms, timers, sirens
The tick tock threads of life
Weaving rhythm through our day
Pain, joy, and strife

Familiar with the melody
To pause would be a felony
Attuned to all the chaos
Never silent, never rest

For what are we without routine
What are we without the steady
In a world of constant change
Off book we just aren’t ready

A flicker here, a flicker there
He fixed his car, she changed her hair
Nothing new, nothing bold
Nothing to change the ways of old

Continue, continue on this path of comfort
Til struck with fear we halt our marches
Downfalls one, then another
Screams of terror, others mutter

Real or fake this nightmare spread
Parties crashed, no couples wed
Stores ravaged, panic led
Leading down to something...dead?

Come together, storm to weather
Shame our leaders
Blame our neighbors

Hide and pray soap will save the day
Let no guards stand in their way

With tubes of white and instant bowls
Bunker down and close the schools

With our timers and our alarms
We stay afloat
But it will be sirens
That sink the boat.

long letters
                 raindrops
                              doorbells
          the                            cat socks
         good                                       riptide
          old                                                 long locks
         days                                   tide pool
                                  moon rocks
                   childhood
yellow crocs

im always scared of matches

so quick to catch the flame

i swipe the pick against the box

then pray o jesus' name

i hold my hand out steady

the spark a-flickers bright

then marches up the stick so fast

i blow with all my might

****

i never needed to light this candle anyway