I've only ever felt truly happy in my dreams
Happiness in the real world
Is fleeting usually
And doesn't stick around
Joy
Joy is that feeling of content
That state of utter bliss
That never ending happiness
True joy, I have yet to experience

I am a hapless lad
Fortunate of the "un" kind
What kind of world do we live in
That I would be in this state
From dawn, 'til dusk
Where is my joy?
I'm not a liar
But I never tell the truth
I just elect
To stay silent
I wonder
I wander
I don't know what I want
Or where I'm going
Or even what I'm thinking, often times
Would this be considered living?
I'm just going through the motions
I am alive, in the technical term
But is this really a life?
Every day feels the same
I've become numb
The days, weeks, months
Blended together in a rainbow of grey
What is the purpose, if not to enjoy
To bring joy
It's hard to be thankful for each day
When I can't tell the difference between this and the last
I am a product of society
Of the system
The school is all about the short term memory
I don't learn anymore
Why?
Am I just ungrateful?
Or am I one of the few
Who isn't comfortable with this monotony
Not blind to the plight of man
Or am I just a hapless, hopeless young man
Playing the part of a poet?

I'm waiting for inspiration
And I'm left wanting
Wanting my writing to be well thought out
And pleasant to read and hear
Even if the subject itself is not
But I hate to wait
It takes too long
I want to create poetry
But my creativity can't keep up with the demand of my twitching fingers
The want, the need
To create something
But not knowing what that something is
It's infuriating to say the least
So I rush
I put out unfinished, not well thought out pieces
In order to satiate that itch
I swear I'm not a boring person
I just tend to feel the same things
Over, and over
So all my poems start to sound the same
Monotonous, restating old ideas
Because I don't think about it
Or I think too much
I try too hard
To sound different
Unique
But that's not who I am
I'm just a boy
Who happens to fall in love too easily
And has a voice
But no clear message