Somewhere . . . somewhere
Sounds sift softly into my soul
I hear them . . . I crave them
A heavy heart healed and whole
Pleading . . . praying
Upon pianos to be played
I feel them . . . I hold them
Miracles to be made
Outside, my hands dance and create
Inside, my spirit is freed of weight
Can you hear them? Angels of sound and light?
Can you see them? Breaking dawn out of night?
Heaven is here . . . Heaven is here
Helpless, I surrender as You whisper in my ear
I hear Him . . . I crave Him
My heart held, healed and whole
Streaming . . . staying
Love lifts life everlasting
I feel Him . . . I hold Him
For Him forever fasting
Outside, she dances and creates
Inside His hands I patiently wait
Can you hear them? Angels of heart and love?
Can you see them? Raining down from above?
Heaven is there . . . Heaven is here
Helpless, I loved you as He drew me near
Time is a shadow . . . distance a gate
I have chosen to love you, for my God is great
He is the Light . . . He was the Key
He opened this path that lays before me
And I run, dear one, oh how I run
Finding peace and joy in the warmth of the Son
Wait for me . . . wait for Him
Somewhere . . . somewhere . . . Heaven is near
Heaven . . . is here

I awoke in that dark forest, wounded...
My bow broken and bound at my wrists...
My thoughts and memories as hazy as the shadows around me
A soft mist settled around the trees...no breeze
Then I heard it:
Nachash...moving in the tree above me
I could only see the dark light shining off his scales
Imbalanced scales and skewed perspectives
A forked tongue
Dropping from the tree before me, Nachash reared up
I was surprised to find his face mangled, as though crushed
The bruise on my heel surged forth a memory
We stared at one another for some time - his hatred heavier than the mist
I don't know what my expression held for him...disdain? Contempt?
I felt no fear, and perhaps that frustrated the fallen form before me
"You have nowhere to run...nowhere to go, little king...you are bound"
I could not remember where I was or how I got here; how was I bound?
I couldn't see; not even beyond the trees - the dark and mist too thick
He saw me scanning
"Into the dark, child of God?" he spat
"Yes, run blind...I will not stop you"
I sat motionless, trying to remember...
Running? No. I'm not here to run.
"You are alone in this...everyone has gone, leaving you..."
"Where is your great love, child of God?"
I was missing something, but his words did not feel right...
I was not abandoned. No. A sacrifice was made, and the Light did shine at that.
Something about the Light...
"No more arrows, child, no more love...what awaits you outside this forest?"
He shifted closer, yellow eyes locking on to mine
"Nothing," he whispered, "nothing awaits you. Just a world that has passed you by."
The Light brought peace. I had peace.
"Why don't you speak, favored one, do your gifts fail you?"
The Light brought courage. I was not afraid.
"Where is your gifted mind, earthbound wanderer?"
The Light brought clarity. My hands...
They were not bound! I had bound them with my own belief - a lie.
I stood quickly. The serpent spun backward and hissed
"Who told you that you were free?!"
I spoke, finally, "The Light brings truth: that I am the enemy that allows your lies to persist...to bind me. No more, Nachash. I am loved and I am free."
I scanned the tree line again, believing...
The path was there, easily discernible - directly behind Nachash.
I moved around him quickly, heading for the path.
"All there is for you, maggot, is an uncertain future - in a world full of my influence!" I turned to face him.
His broken visage seemed worried...scared even.
My voice was as strong as my cleared mind, "My future is in God's hands, and there are no weapons - no words - that you can fashion to come against me. I belong to God as does my future."
I turned to go, but paused and looked back
"Your future is in God's hands too, Nachash...and in all the greatness with which you were designed, I pity you and the future you've brought upon yourself."
Further into the dark forest I strode, invigorated. I did not look back.

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth...
Before the beginning, God knew exactly what was going to happen.
He knew our imperfections, our faults and flaws, but He did not pause
He did not doubt to create, to inundate the world with water and life
Knowing who would walk and who would merely talk
God has proven Himself a taker of calculated risk
Free will
The blood that had to be spilled to create The Way
And who was to say whether or not we would find faith in our day?
Life could have taken so many different turns, and I could burn in a different way...
The Lord walked the land, trusting in man, eleven to be specific
Prolific in His ways, loving us, even if we were a Judas
That twelfth soul who sold his own and should have known
The Messiah among us was willing to wash our feet...
How perfect and complete is God's knowledge of time.
Every choice in every life a line upon His canvas
And He intervenes with colors pristine bringing depth and purpose
Layers and contours that collide in a chromatic blend
That sends the eye across this scape, draped with Divine deliberation
Every drop of paint placed with precision and pieced like a puzzle with Providence
Divine Providence
Then...He stood back, the foundations laid
And by themselves our colors spread across His canvas
Our own will the invisible brushes
Swishing along in hushes as time progressed
And at times, our Master Painter would intervene with those colors pristine
Our lives would change or be challenged
And at our darkest moment, in the middle of the canvas
With colors turning black and turning back with wickedness and death
In one breath, He cast from His brush the most brilliant red ever to be bled...
Right in the middle of our midst, and our reality did twist
Death to life, grays to glowing greens, black to vibrant blues
A kaleidoscope of hues that bridged one half of this frame to the next
This oil never dries and it always covers
Even the meanderings of star-crossed lovers can't compare to His grace
His romantic piece, this portrait of His people - saved and lost
The cost of this work is immeasurable...
It has always caught my eye and spun me on my head,
And I will not understand it until I am fully dead
But for now, I'm merely dying in my meager attempts at scrying
Dying to know the why's and how's and when's
And until then, I'm humbled to be an ever changing line on His canvas
A piece planned before the paint was poured or the canvas nailed to its board frame
A canvas stretched in creation, perfect in His elation on how to fill it
What a glorious plan He has for man
I cannot wait to see it fully...
I know I will be overwhelmed.

In the deepest pools of my being
I persist in seeing
Amidst the murk where naught is breathing
A light therein it swells
Swelters in the deep retreat
The core from whence my heart does beat
Is fleet in pulsing singing reverie
Though pieces incomplete

Divine divides, His hand weighs in
He ushers in again
A female form flows in upon the wind
My soul fails to defend
She swims my depths and left bereft
No breath have I, within this cleft
To see her form it steals my breath
And so I drown within my depths

My pieces incomplete, for naught
Her shape therein is caught
She compliments the cleft betwixt my heart
Completion it is brought

And I for she is meant to be
I couldn't see in reverie
How I fit in so easily
How love was meant to start

In the deepest pools of our being
The moments become fleeting
Amidst the murk the wind she's bringing
My breath begins to swell
Sweltering in passion's heat
In store for where this love retreats
In pulsing rhythmic reverie
Wherein the two become complete

Oh for mercy! Heaven's seat!
My waters are replete!
The Son that shines and intertwines
Abundance with the meek

And I in He was meant to be
And now I see in reverie
How His hand moved so easily
This love was given start

In the deepest pools of our being
We persist in seeing
Amidst the murk where naught is breathing
Our light therein it swells
Swelters in this deep retreat
The core from whence our hearts do beat
Are fleet in pulsing wondrous reverie
Potentially complete

Divine divides, His hand weighs in
We're ushered in again.

Under his satirical ceiling we sat
Simply to chat about this and that

But the mood grew somber and sullen
Discussing great men who had fallen
And for a few moments neither of us spoke…

I stared up and away
I could think of nothing to say
And then it struck me like Newton’s apple
Fallen from a tree in Eden

“Mike…” I ventured
“Why couldn’t their fingertips touch?”

He raised his head as though weighted with lead
And for the longest time, a hiatus in rhyme
His gaze pierced that dual portrait…

I have seen many men weep
A wonder that washes over me in both cold and warm tides
But Michelangelo’s tears could not be defined
Pouring forth from a vessel of shattered pride
I watched him uncomfortably
Upset at my question’s transgression…I looked up once more

Unlike before, I saw it, hidden in the space
The looks on faces, chastened, I saw it:

They were not nearly touching
Not almost, not even close, nowhere near
And it was suddenly clear, it could not hide
The divide!
Oh, the divide!
The distance so dramatic, so drastic

His intention was not dimension, but the action itself!
A reaching breaching that vast space
The answer in Adam’s careless face, in Newton’s open hand
A lump forming on the back of his head and mind

I looked back to Mike, ready to weep with him
But composure gained, eyes strained, he answered
with a smile
“I hate painting on damp plaster.”
“Oh,” I replied, catching my breadth.

I am in moments
A mind that is fleeting
Freeing itself from forever being
Trapped in the one-sided and unrequited
No soul can harbor such pain and remain sane
No ships can anchor in such a cantankerous storm
Her form malevolent yet brilliant
Sending waves that pave the way for another crash
Another unfulfilled dream that teams with turning from one mind to another
Always changing like the tide that hides beneath froth and brine
I ask for a sign, oh Lord, a sign.

I pray for dawn
For a light to come on that casts a vast reflection denying circumspection
Bringing clarity to her shifting waters...when the dawn comes
That those fearsome waves would calm and save me from drowning
A coast cleared of chaos...a safe harbor, where love can thrive
To survive the long night.

The Spirit of God hovered over the deep
And in seeped His love and light; courage for the momentous fight ahead
Where worlds would collide and divide, leaving their mark on each other
Unforgettable moments that draw these worlds back to one another like gravity
And so...the gravity of this storm weighs in, and we are rocked to and fro, again
We cast our eyes out upon open waters to find the Son of the Father walking
Fearless
He is the calm
He is in the storm
He has the eyes of the storm, able to break all derision and indecision
Begging us to "trust in one day...one day at a time"
Showing us to give grace covered in the light of His holy face
A smile that beckons us to be His and belong to each other
To serve and love one another despite the storms
When times defy the norm and cause us to doubt
His mighty voice shouts above the wind
"Do not rescind, do not doubt, weather it out, and be blessed!"

I am in moments
Unable to see anything but the calamity of unfulfilled words
The storm is a fickle thing that comes and goes again and again
I venture forth with my heart and find her wounding hard and sharp
Her winds and torrents unpredictable
The undine whispers to me that I am not a true man
That I cling to my rigging and allow my emotions to claim me
But Christ's voice retains me...and I know I can step onto the waters
And her storm won't harm me; she can even find a calm
A place where she and I exist in peace sharing the reefs
Sharing the sea, two worlds colliding freely
Where my winds caress the surface of her waters
And the Lord sleeps in my boat
I can see His face beneath her surface
And the sun on the horizon shines
Reminding me of the brilliance that takes place when these two worlds meet.

It is worth weathering my doubts...it is worth weathering her storms.

I sit alone with Poe in hand
Dreaming of a distant land
Where merry hearts may make me mad
Unable to share in tidings glad
For my heart is a fool's resource
Blundering ahead without remorse
Unable to blink or alter course
Drawn forward by an insidious force
Some call it love and fate
And in these tones I've learned to hate
My own emotions adhere like a pox
By my own mind I'm incessantly mocked
She will never be and you never were
No matter how powerful emotions stir
Your music falls short
Your form too bleak
Her heart reports
When another man speaks
In time you'll be silenced
So flee far away
And forever regret
Every moment of each day
Her voice strikes your ears
Her form, piercing heart
What you long for, dear fool
You will never be a part
You'll forever be apart
And your heart from the start
In its dying form of art
Romanticists are fools
Adorned with fewer jewels
At least the jester, for his while
Can summon up a smile
The romantic and his pen
Will bleed again and again
****** paper with their prose
As their inner angst grows
And their soul, yes it knows
All the walls and the "no's"
Never to be free
Never will she be
Never will she see
Never is for me
Yet I am many things marvelous
A shining, beautiful treasure
My task ahead is arduous
But I'm a renaissance man of measure
For your pleasure
A dancing fool
Who is almost not good enough
Or barred by premonition's view
Though a diamond in the rough
I just know
I must go
Perhaps to show
To deal the blow
That breaks us mortal men
To repeat this pattern
Again and Again
And Again
And
Again

In a tundra, whited and smitten with cold
My fires unfold
I am not daunted by dismissals nor iced distraction
I never needed the attraction, I simply chose to slide the slalom
And the Lord has shown me the path I must now take
While not forsaking when I've been forsook.

Funny, I still feel something missing, a piece I lost along the way
But there is nothing more to say...nobody is really listening anyway.

I thought there was a better way, one that reconciled instead of frayed
I thought I was played...but my music has changed and it still holds sway.

No more.

I am outside my shell, outside my country, my mind continues to grind
And a plan to leave a lasting impact, its span greater than my meager lifetime
Oh, the salty brine that taunts and teases
The dire diseases that plague our pure waters
We have the cure, an end, and a beginning...
Someone just needs to write the story.
Others will pick up the pen when I fall.
I am not needed at all.
I am just a catalyst.
A vision.
A mirage in a desert that is waiting for the deluge.
Soon...
Soon.

A voice that whispers to me
Tells me to push on and on, trusting even while she's gone
The voice has carried me easily over seas and travesties of greater turmoil
And as waters boil, waiting and watched, I am unscathed and joyful in the voice
It whispers like vespers on a breeze that frees my sometimes troubled mind
When memories and longings fade in like a tremulously beautiful din
Creating harmonies and dissonances that dance out of time
Out of time . . .
Timing, oh timing
How did you get away from me?
"It's okay," that voice whispers, knowing the events that lead to today
The sacrifice is sweeter and refinement's meaning deeper
When there is loss . . .
Loss . . .
To lose it all to gain it all within a fall before the fall
When greens fade and life's cycle trades for an escapade of reds and yellows
Color me rainbow, don't stop at yellow
Don't stop
Oh please, don't stop
So many more colors to discover, beyond clover greens and a prismatic sheen
That blended ecstatic its chromatic gleam
The voice was always pleased, yet it demanded we cross seas
Create distance, honoring all that was given to He
All that we give . . .
Give . . .
The voice brings peace, while insisting I not stop
"She has stopped," I plead, yet I know she still reads
Still seeks, which speaks in unison with that voice
To remember . . .
I set out to give it all, whether or not I stand or fall
I know she feels, I feel she is not fickle in her words or her decisions
Her actions not derision, nor her writings works of fiction
Where does this confounded belief and confidence come from?!?!
The voice that whispers reminds me that it led me here for a purpose
Like porpoises and endorphins, endolphins that swim through me
Invigorating and serene as I redefine this shape of a man
A man . . .
I attempt to be a good one, of sorts
And the voice never retorts at my efforts
He loves when I try
He loves when I fall
He loves when I fly
And through it all
When I succeed and give Him the glory
We shine together
Oh, how we shine together
So, dear reader
Here I am at peace
That voice the deepest part of me
The heart of me, the art in me
He is my reason - in every season
High or low, I always know He speaks to me in voices that whisper
I listen
And I act
I progress
And as I take these steps, certain memories linger with longing
He opens every door, and I want more - I will not settle for a life mundane
Nor will I give up on those that I love
For green reminds me
As He reminds me
To find that best version of myself.

Distant lands call to me
Yet I've never seen them or met them
I tread familiar woods with my bow in hand
Arrows at the ready
A steady gaze and steady aim
Daydreaming of green bluffs and castles, pyramids, and mystic temples
My heart seeks true, my quiver full of those that seek
They will not miss, they will not sin
The feathers are lined perfectly, my string is taut

He who makes falling stars made my arms
He who made burning suns that pierce the deep dark of space made my heart...
Which burns with a fire greater than any star
My eyes were made by Light and Love and have been gifted to see deeper...
To acknowledge the Divine that dances in realms unseen from summer to spring
Where time ebbs like diamond webs that shimmer under the weight of light
My legs were made by the Awesome and Mighty to climb all heights in spite of gravity
And the sweat of my brow a great many trinkets, liquid gems that soak and sink
I loose the energy within
And like a glinting beam the arrow streams and gleams
It seems to pierce the shadow with a shout
"Let me out!"
It strikes true...

Her heart is pierced but not wounded

She slowly falls...so slowly she falls
Her gaze upturned, eyes made of the same Light and Love
Heart hot enough to sear a star
Arms that pull like a singularity - that drew me to her, breaking down my barriers
Legs, also made by the Awesome and Mighty that make the chase
And the sweat of her brow an inspiration, like a tiara worn by His princess
A daughter of the Divine...

My heart is pierced but not wounded

I sent her my love, streaking in all the glory and light granted by the Divine
I loosed my love by my own hands, hands made by the Protector of man
Yet she ran
She ran to a distant land, her fealty a part of His plan
And here I stand
Quiver empty and waiting to see
If my aim was as true as can be
I pursue as the Master of the Hunt has taught me
Daydreaming of lands in which I long to be freed

My love is still with her
And my Maker leads me on to deeper woods
Into which I disappear with only my bow and my wits
To test me with things dark, that have clawed their way up from the pits
I am my King's knight, armed and prepared to fight
To fight for what I believe is worthy and good
To be understood by Him and her and them
As a stable and true man - who seeks the highest Engineer's plan
I smile as I step into the brush
Running through with my adrenaline rushed
My enemies seek to unseat me, this small king
But my honor is sealed with He that sings
The song of creation and love
I hear it
I hear it still
And ever will, from this dark forest into eternity
I dance forward laughing in the face of evil intentions
Confident and fearless as my God rebukes them
The great hunt promises to be long
But my energy and desire continue on
Will she allow my arrow, my love, to fill that space?
Will I ever again glimpse her resplendent face?
A smile and joy that outshines other lights
A heart and warmth that brightens dark nights
Will she remember me in that distant place, a heart still pierced?
This hunter is being refined, his determination fierce
I hear You
Your autumn's song
"It won't be long, it won't be long"
This dark forest's death brings bright colors
Washing away all those dull grays
Her melody mingles with Your love song
My heart is strong
My heart is strong

A wake in the water
A slumbering sky
The stars shine, fine tendrils of light and time
I am suspended in their silvery web, weary, slivers of consciousness slipping
Embedded in dreams and under my skin, I fall out and fall in
Bleeding hope from every pierced promise, soul in solace.
Ripples spread in V's, seized by the breeze
A lunar wind wafts me in and quickly I begin
Envisioning...
Being reunited
My heart ignited while I sleep in the Light's embrace
I can see a shining face
It comforts me.
I open my eyes and find myself in Ireland
Taking the air in sips, I can taste stone on my lips
And I know where the greens around me came from
I can still hear the crickets where I left my body on the pond.
I can still feel the starlight behind my head, a soft cradle, an ethereal bed
"I'm not really here, am I?" I whisper to blue skies and bluffs with water rough
They crash back, "No!!" and "Go!!"
I close my eyes and shed one tear...another time, another year
But peace remains, the starlight cradle feels no strain
I turn to my side and sideways the world shifts
Opening rifts - I travel in my canopy of shimmering light
To a place cloaked in night
A dark forest surrounds me, an empty quiver my pillow
No crickets, no cradle, no castles
A dream within a dream
The tear is still in my eye, and I suppress my sigh
No friends await in this wooded wilderness
I have faced fears, shining serpents, and lies
But my heart still swells, still shines
That inner Light is my Guide, a Guardian true
Hoping He will lead me back to you
Everything awaits outside the refining shadows that shade and shift here
My love and my faith are sincere, and I cling to He Who collects my tears
No amount of dark can suppress my creative light
I am secure in the deepest of night
Where songs long to be free from deep within me
I hum, and the forest thrums with me - incapable of resisting this gift from God
Leaves wisp, branches wick and creak, insects speak...
Somewhere, waters whisper and leak their secret melodies
Harmonizing my hum
A dark forest sings, and I have overcome it with wings
My spirits rise as I again close my eyes
Smile, and begin to dream
Bigger and brighter
Broader and wider
Nothing can contain the drive within me
I strive and dive into the challenges before me with fervor
My fever breaks the boundaries before me
My smile settles the challenges in store for me
I rest in the dark forest, abreast a Light that the dark can not see
The dark does not understand it
I have prayed to know
I have prayed to glow
And now I must go
Must go...
Sleep.