I wish it were him instead of my blanket holding me.

I just want to disappear sometimes.
shut the blinds, and roll over
until I can sleep no longer
I'm tired, of always worrying.

Under the gazebo,
you sang in silly cadence
while patting along on your lap
you smiled so happily.
You made my heart beat rapidly
and you still do, so easily
even now just remembering
my heart pounds without warning.
It yearns for the memories to repeat.
So often, I'll lay and reminisce,
even so my heart begs me to rewind,
I feel it crying for what's inside.

do you ever feel lonely?
they say that it's healthy
but I'm unsure of that.
Despite my liking alone time
too much of it can hurt me.
It makes me feel so lost, and empty
until my tears fall endlessly.
After crying I usually find solace,
but this time I just want to cry more.
Which makes me feel *pathetic.

This Jellyfish that floats along
trying to confidently stay strong
is distinctly sad, so often it feels like
it could just sting itself,
but it does *not.

It floats along.

I hate words,
they never come out right.
They always feel slurred
or awkwardly uptight.