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JasFow Aug 5
Blocking out so many memories
Is the only thing that keeps me moving
It’s too hard to know what’s real
Memories seem fake or forced
But I know they were real
No one wants to think back to their past
And only feel fear and sorrow
The feeling that the lone thoughts of joy
Are fabricated
Dreams I created to make it seem better
To make it as if it wasn’t that bad
Like the pain my sister and I endured
Wasn’t all just make believe
Nightmares that curated my reality of the past
System fails as I try to catch my breath
Heat racing a beat faster each tick
Pitch black walls with curtains on top
I wish sometimes it was all a bad dream
Maybe then when I woke in a sweat
I wouldn't have to suppress the screams
JasFow Aug 4
Coming through a fogged over window
A slight chilled mist on the air when you open it
It's those old memories echoing from before
The fall of yellow orange turned leaves
Not just yet crunchy
I feel the breeze coming through
You handing me a hot mug of honey sweetened tea
A brief kiss landing upon my head
Leaning back to look at you
I take in the steam now coming from my hands
This is all I dreamt of since we met
Yet then you were consumed in another's heart
Never seeing this far in the future
Your warmed hand placed softly on my shoulder
I let the light reflect off the glass into my eyes
Its early and breathtaking
JasFow Jul 30
So much time has passed
Yet so little life has been lived
Oh how life's changed to now
JasFow Jul 30
Change of Season and Change of Myself
I lost the family I had
Move in with a boy, treat life like a toy
Something to just have fun with
Get drunk to forget, it happens everytime
Hope that one day I'll find a love to be mine
JasFow Jul 30
There’s so much
I’d never change
Including the parts
That drive me insane
How you smile
Your laugh
The silly noises you make
The jokes you tell
How you give
When you cook
Your judgmental glances
The way you love men
How you'd never love me the same
But you love me none the less
JasFow Jul 30
Top and Bottom lip
Both completely different and odd alone
Yet feel so perfect when they meet mine
Together/pressed soft yet firm
JasFow Jul 30
Sometimes no matter how many people you have around you, there’s an emptiness is the air you breathe
A chill runs down your spine, making it difficult to stand straight like they tell you to
To block out the thoughts of pain that drains out the tears, I think about my favorite time of the year
The crisp breeze in the air over the dry warm day, stepping on piles of crunchy leaves
Remembering when I read books outside, the descriptive words that took me to a new location
Being able to escape the jarring echoes of my mind, wandering into a light haven for the time being
While the environment becomes more brisk and wants to lift my spirits, it reminds me it'll fade to a cold end
22 years strong and there's not much else the reminds me that good memories were made, but will there be more
One can only hope on a late October evening
I can't wait for Halloween
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