A reminder of an ex-lover?
An unstitched wound?
An uninvited guest?
An unbearable pain?

All the unanswered questions
haunt me now day and night.

Sometimes gentle like a babbling brook
Other times storms and flooding
No competition with the rain
Needed an ark
They fell for someone long gone
Yesterday comes to haunt you and you are unprepared
Tears

Shattered illusions.
Shattered hopes.
Shattered dreams.

A house with no structure
built from the remains of ruin.

A powerful soul
in a trembling body.

A house meant to fall.
A house that realized
it’s not a house at all -
just the memory of shelter
pretending to hold.

It asks,
"Then what am I?"

But no one answers.

And so,
what’s left
sinks into the soil,
quietly turning
back into earth.

As the light fades from my window and the house grows still,
I grab my favorite blanket and sit at the window sill.

I've got one last conversation,
one last prayer to breathe,
I'm just waiting on the moon-
to tell her what I need.

If she shows me stars tonight then I will wait for you,
and if the sky is just pitch black?
There's nothing more I can do.

I'm sure you find it silly-
my obsession with signs
yet you still look for meaning in my non-sensical rhymes.

So if the sky is bare tonight with nothing for me to see,
I won't bother you anymore-
I'll just let you be.

My heart strings are so tired,
my mind is in an indecisive hell,
I want to be patient but
I need a sign it's going well.

Scratched
Worn
Splintered  
Torn
I hang on
But who knows how long

This piece of driftwood
In the open—raging sea
Pummeling me and this driftwood
Far away from land
In a surging storm
Me at to rip away the weak

I try so much
I cry all day
I beg for mercy
On most of my days
This pain
The nausea
The dizzy spells
All the times I *****
Because I can’t keep things down

Or how about my anxiety
My hallucinations too
It’s not fair
That the medication isn’t doing
what it’s supposed too

I try and try
But I fail and fall
And I collapse
So much
Ive fainted before

If you ask me if
“Im alright”
I’ll say “Im fine”
And move on with my life
Because no matter
What I have to keep fighting
I know that Theve tried
I know there trying
But what there doing isn’t enough
And I’m hurting

So here I am
On a driftwood out to sea
Fighting brutal storm
Pushing me
I don’t know the last time
I was free

But
At least I know
I have energy left
To keep up the mask
And I know that in this space
I can be me
And spill out
My battles

Like this painful
Ride
Whitch I will try
To fight
And let myself be me

I know how life is
People always let you down
Yet , the world still turns