Baby boy in baby boots
Ruddy reddened caligae
On ruby crowned Caligula

He fills the shoes
Red shoes, blood shoes
Blood boots, blood red
(Too red) too well

Grow into your boots
Blood boots, blood shoes
Silk shoes, soft sheets

My sweetest son in soldier’s clothes
In army boots, with baby’s blood
In baby veins, in baby boots

My starlit son the demon king
In purple robes, stained amaranthine
Laurel crowned on merlot hair
On baby's head with baby's boots

My withered king, my sweetest son
In little boots with a baby's sword
Made Rome as red as his merlot hair
And amaranthine robes
And ruddy boots

Bad feeling
Creeping up on me
I want to escape
But it's taking me

Unexpected
Kind of like a sharp pain
Except with depression

I looked in to meds
I think I need them
When can I receive them?
I want to feel better already

Why don't I have friends?
Why is all I could do on a Saturday
Sit there
With my cat
And waste my time in some way or another?

When the distraction takes a break
Anxiety
Depression
They grab me
Pull me

"No, let me go!"
I shout

It doesn't
Ruthless and red eyed
They have taken me away

They have suddenly grabbed any pleasant feeling
And crumbled it before me

"No!"
I sob

I want to feel better already

My body and soul are just connected
to this world we called reality!
This can't be the truth!
To me it is still unclear!
Questions inside my head are ringing the bells and answers needed!
Like why i see hidden things
that i only can see?
Humans, buildings, ghosts, giants and dragons
Orks, trolls and elves or even the dwarves of khazad-dum
Angels and devils...
Wherever i go! i see what is real tied with what is supposed to be unreal!
Are they real?
I can't touch or sense it! But for sure my ears can hear, my eyes can see!
But it is nothing fearful!
I feel i belong to
I got used to

A
name
is
selected for her,
but felt,
deep down,
like
only
familiar chains.

Because the world is round
the wind is high
And the sky is blue
I cry

Tonight, I met again with the waxing crescent
hanging lowly and gently in the night sky.

Nearby, a confident small star twinkled
"See me,
See my beauty,
One that can compare to that of your great moon."

I look, and see
That this star had made its mark in the night
Marking it like the mole on your face.

Its not much next to your eyes or lips or smile
Or the wondrous mysterious moon.

But still, this small star made the great night
Just that much more beautiful.

The smallest things
Seem so overwhelming
Take a shower
Get dressed
Get out of bed
Clean
All of them
Seem so hard to do
They take so much energy

I've learned that the only thing that helps

I s

T o

B r e a k

I t

D o w n

Even with the small things

Wheneverharmonicathingsredpilemicrowaveovereachotherlight­bulbitsbalconystartstogetbananacrazy

Anxiety,
Leave me alone

Anxiety,
Let me be

Stop getting in the way
Allow me fun
And relax

Stop with the teary eye
Trouble catching my breathe

Anxiety,
Let me enjoy things
Let me genuinely smile

Leave me alone
Let me feel calm for a while

Stop taking over my life
And my mind

Anxiety,
Please be more kind