If one is never fully dressed without a smile
Then I must be naked all the time

I've disappeared from your list
and I live in hope,
that maybe,
I won't be missed

Hey, Gram.
It's been awhile.
Do you miss us down here?
I miss your smile.
Can you believe it's already been nine years?
Me neither,
but there's been a whole lot of good times,
and a whole lot of tears.

I find myself wishing I could hear your
laugh, or even just your voice
one more time..
at least inside my mind,
it doesn't seem like you're gone.

I thought I'd just write you a little letter
to let you know you're still so loved
and though it's gotten a little better,
I sometimes wish you weren't
waiting up above,
but still down here with us.

That's just me being selfish,
but our little family is growing.
I'm sure you've seen G
and how big she's getting.
Gram, you'd love her so much,
she has your eyes.

And Chrissy's getting married,
I promise you'd love Monica, too.
She makes all of us laugh so much -
something you used to do.

But it's time for me to sign off here
and stop before I cry,
cause God knows
I always get a little choked up
whenever you cross my mind.

I wish you were here,
I love you,
and I miss you every day.

Love,
Your Punka-doodle-do
Forever & Always

now,
the only thing that clears my mind
is the little park across the street
with it's soft dirt paths and circular moon lamps
it is here
in the smooth warm air
that i can forget it all, yet still think.

I'll love you for as long as
Snape loved Lily

Instant.
Gratification.
A like.
A fleeting comment.
A bit of attention.
This doesn't last forever, need I mention?

We paint picture perfect lives
as if it were the truth.
Rarely do people post about times
when they're discouraged or feeling blue.

Our lives seem enviable, but you don't see what occurs behind doors.
The mundane moments no one wants to disclose.

With social media I find myself becoming more distant, yet feeling more connected in an instant. Making so called friends that I never talk to in person. Adding to a list of people that I pretend to know and ignoring the ones I say I care for.

Then there's the selfish gratification. It's all about me. Here's another one of my selfies. But somehow I find that I compare myself endlessly. And so do you and so does he. It's a game we aren't aware we signed up for. Yet the mutual agreement is we all score.

I used to know you through more than our fiber optic nothings:
As wild hair and ****** knees, a moleskin and a fountain pen,
A teeming scowl and harrowing slur of a laugh, seeing every word spoken.
As children on the cusp of something in the stick of June, I knew you—
Strong and blinding, you reside in a dark and colorful maze.
Lost or found, I imagine that you are sending cigarette smoke signals
Wafting up, indistinguishable through the city smog,
Out the window of an apartment in which you do not reside
Or snaking through the metro, slouched over in a grey haze, unaware
That you can still stand taller than the rest of us.

Help me forget all the
Times he held my universe
Together with a look into my eyes.
Help me change time,
So that the seconds don't scream his name.
Help me remove the scars he left all
Over my body, memories of caresses turned bruises, bruises that turned into hurt, pain that stayed as scars.
Help me love you, I'm begging you.

tonight i saw the movie paper towns
excellent message but poorly executed
but from it i reaped two important insights:
1. that my life has been paper for a long time
2. something much worse than being paper
is treating others like paper: disposable, recyclable

I don't want to talk about you moving on
I don't want to discuss your future
I don't want to hear about you cutting off the dead weight to fly free and happy while I fall to ground and break the concrete.