You speak of things that cannot be seen and your lungs fill  up with smoke.
It's been a while since I could see your face,
through all the thoughts and the words
that float around,
making a cloud
meant to scare people away.
I'm not scared. I can hear your voice.
I can see your light and the sparks you make
by trying to set yourself on fire, but don't you know
fire never killed the sun
and the night never gets lost in darkness.
In a room with no soul, the voices come and play
in echoes and in whispers,
and then you start to speak aswell.

“We fall in deep and never let go,
Pretending we’re supposed to be together,
Though i can clearly see
Your flesh falling apart,
And your veins pulsing their way out,
And your white skin
Turning gray.
Our love is molding,
And it’s spreading to our hearts,
But we keep saying it’s an illusion.
Illusions hurt, darling,
When they smother you at night,
And our necks are bruised,
And our lungs are sore.”

There's death in the air tonight,
and it's coming to take you, thick like smoke
that is leaking from the rusty faucet
of laughing ghosts,
who have known it all too well,
who can feel if flowing through their veins,
tingling like a swarm of flies,
taking over where blood once was.
Take a deep breath
and let it out,
don't allow it to touch your lungs
or you might find yourself screaming,
tearing your skin apart,
only to maybe be able to take them out.
The night has called them from below,
and now you hear death whispering ,
whispering,
embracing you with their angel-like wings.
You thought you'd run,
but you don't want to.
And the coldness suddenly feels like home.

I wish I could break out of myself,
and maybe from afar I could understand
everything that I am made of
and I could make sense of the shadows in my head,
because I can't see through the fog anymore,
and sometimes when I look in the mirror,
I don't recognize myself.
.Rock bottom hurts like hell
and I can barely see the way out.
Maybe running away isn't the answer,
but I wish I could do it.
Maybe that's what I've been doing all this time,
just running away from myself.
I'm too scared to sit still.
I'm too scared to catch up with myself.
I just want to be free.
Out, out, out.
I want out.

I wonder if
The minute you decided
To distance yourself from me
You zipped up the last
Of your suitcases
And tucked them under the bed
Where I wouldn’t see
Is that why you keep
Your shoes on now
Each time you sit on my couch
Just in case your heart
Grows fond
And you know
Its time to walk out
I feel like a road block
To your destination
Now I’m just a pit stop
A leftover in the making
I wonder
Does your heart put up a fight
When your lips come close to mine
Does your conscience come out to play
And leave me on the other side
I feel like the dog
You took out to the yard
But forgot to shoot
I just watch you check your pockets
And leave the keys, but take your boots
I wonder if
When you chose
To distance yourself from me
You pushed me from behind
Where I couldn't see

I was wrong, I'm sorry, and I love you.
I hear this song, I worry, and I fear too.
That these letters I'm writing won't be well received,
that the good fight I'm fighting dies with me.
I know God has assigned me to brave these stormy seas.
Anything that finds me will have to face Thee.
And there you will guide me, Lord, your will- let it be.
I was wrong, I'm so sorry, and Lord please help them to see
I want the best for them, just like you have given me.
I pray that when they read my words it is only You they will see.
That heaven shines down and warms them through words you've given me.
Lord I have so much of Your love to give, just please do this through me.

it's a magical moment, months later
when you realize you're happy
truly, truly, happy
like you swore you'd never be
you're happy again