Walking wandering waiting watched
aimless within a maze of desire and fear
can't let go can't let go can't let go
won't survive to allow someone in
walls stretching to the sky ever building
as foundation shakes and crumbles
wings torn and tattered fly and fall in but one direction

Bending begging bleeding broken
gripped by certainty and fore knowing
can't hold on can't hold on can't hold on
nothing remains to sacrifice for
empty shell beneath painted mask
burning for reflection be become reality
face cracked and flaking
echoes bounce endless

Fighting fleeing falling failed
last gasp escapes twisted prison
can't get up can't get up can't get up
useless scrabble of crippled fingers
a coarse rejection in abject denial
for respite for a chance for a life
movement fades no more mask
a grimace replaced with a smile

And empty eyes stare forever.

Affection is
a place of warmth and safety
where joy and fun collide
in an idea of future

Love is
unremitting emotion erupting
boiling flames of possible pain
a wondrous burning heat

Fear is
knowing you'll die alone and forgotten
discovered as a corpse years later
when neighbours complain about the mail

Joy is
being lost in a single moment
the unexpected laugh of being alive
a passing radiant smile

Depression is
a black tar bog
dragging you down
where even screams are drowned

Loneliness is
the unfortunate idea that
if i don't smile now
i won't get another chance

Happiness is
finding that memory
that will make me laugh
no matter the situation

Horror is
waking from my dreams
to find they're not real
and having to face this world

Self loathing is
the constant critique
and lists of all my faults
running through my head

Relief is
knowing it is only a few hours
i can sleep again
and lose myself in dreaming

Frustration is
when my head hits the pillow
and eyes drift close
but the mind will not let go

Strength is
waking up a normal unremarkable person
seeing all the pain the day will bring
and trying to make sure someone else will smile

Hope is
that there is someone out there
that i might meet today
that can make me smile

Bravery is
looking in the mirror standing tall
to brace my shoulders against this life
and making sure i make someone laugh today.

Where bathes you the morning dew
lights you the sun
colors you the dawn's hue
a moment newly begun.

Where shelters you the blue sky
soaks you the rain
lets out your heart's cry
words shape your pain.

Where dazzles you the sunshine
glooms end of day
hope is the silver line
living the only way.

Where gnaws you the sorrow's worm
runs you the smile
speaks to you the soul's calm
happiness is only a mile.