I think the problem is
that you need a girl
who doesn't think
about what goldfish
dream about
or about worms
that get washed up
on rainy days.

A girl who doesn't think
about
raindrop races
on windowpanes.
A girl who doesn't
point out clouds
that puff out like the
dragons
she reads about.

A girl who likes
politics
and not fantasy.
A girl who cries when
the endings are sad.
Not happy.

A girl who lives
for the sake of
love
and not
herself.

A girl who is
definitely
not
me.

I think
the problem is
I'm happy
it's not.

I don't know your name,
I have see your face;
And hers when she is with you.

That delicate smile,
The same as when we first met,
Somehow, I don't know, ironic.

Does she see in your eyes tranquility,
Like an open sun on a lake,
The lake where we were married?

She drinks in your light,
And when I saw the two of you,
Something inside of me began to die,

Like these words,
Jealous phrases from the other man,
Are you a jealous man, do you know of me?

When you look to the distance,
Because I am sure you will always
Be there, do you see yourself
At the hospital battling pneumonia?

Your hands on hers
Like curled rose petals,
Where at the hospital no one asks
You to leave because they know somehow
The term visiting hours don't apply.

You hold the woman I love,
With your powerful hands,

You who **** me inside,
Is she yours now,
Body and soul?

But you see I am her husband,
And for her I have a divine thirst,
So I won't make a public scene.

Tell me, tell me sir,
What words have you spoken,
Words in a myriad of seduction
To steal a man's love, the love of my life?

Be gentle with her,
Love her as gentle air over tree tops,
Nothing is as sweet as her delicate
Touch, savor it.....

And perhaps when you are done,
Because I know you are just passing through,
(This I pray to God)
She returns to me with the same
Gleam in her eyes.

She holds me like she used to,
And we haven't been this happy
In years, I can trace my life
Over each crevice of her body,

I follow them to you sir,
And it reminded me that I have lost,
Not my wife,
But myself in taking for granted
This dove bit so innocent.

You are no obstacle sir,
Because I am now flaming,
Alive even,
A bitter heaviness dwells within,
I must keep the jealous soul at bay,

And this grief like you,
Will pass,
I will love her again as you reminded,

The paralysis is gone,
And now I leap to life
When before you sir,
Nothing was possible.

I'm a man but also a boy.
I'm mature but childish.
I'm stupid while being quick witted, a fat man with the confidence of one perfectly fitted.
The rebel fronting as a prep.
The smile covering the fear of death.
The frown covering the happiness of life while my shadow can eclipse the universe of all light.

I'm free now but more trapped than ever.
It's ended, gone and over.
My heart is crushed, beaten and slower.
Four years of hard work commitment and pain, my skin showing those scars to show my shame.

I'm a liar, a badman, I'm to blame.
I try to much or to little its never the same.
How can I ignore them when every year I have to write, speak, and hear their name.
I will never understand how our strength turned me lame forcing me to learn that the fight of my life was a game with nothing to gain.

I'm a man....but sometimes I feel like nothing.
Shattered dreams of feeling love and a part of something.
How do you go from the loves of each others lives to feeling nothing but sadness and resent inside.

I'm a loveless romantic.
All the tricks I know love I can show but all I ever get is we are done and you can go.

I feel so used.
My soul is abused.
I knew everything when I was with her... now I'm scared and confused.

I'm the one who was trying to make it work.
I'm the one who is shedding tears and being hurt.
How come I'm the one who feels cursed?
Always came second never came first.
Maybe this is the time I'm giving up the search.

i've spent a lot of time on this planet
watching these creatures who inhabit
they say god made it, and it's granted
god won't be the one to **** it

for every gun there's someone to man it
flies with barrels aimed at maggots
they build a fire, then they fan it
flames pull them in like a magnet

they **** each other, and they even plan it
on this planet where i have landed
mankind are the ones wreaking havoc
it's hard for me to understand it

I’ve been called to see the ‘Head Master’
It makes my stomach churn
I somehow thought I’d outgrown this
But perhaps I haven’t after all

I want to get it over with
Will I be told off?  Expelled?
Or is there good news just for me?
Who can tell?  Who can tell?

I have a clear conscience
I hold my head up high
I’ve done the very best I can
I’ve tried and tried

Someone’s got it in for me
I really think they have
I think they want to kick me hard
And beat me to the ground

Get up again and carry on
Get up and face the storm
I really need a victory
To prove the mystic law

You can find The Biology Of Strangeness  and my other books at my Amazon Author’s Page: www.amazon.com/author/mikeessig. You can get print or ebook. Read for free with Amazon Prime.

If you are kind enough to buy, please, please, please leave a review on Amazon. It takes a minute and makes a huge difference for any Indie writer.

Here is a chance to feed a poet’s starving cat. Not as much fun as sleeping with the poet, but more important.

Off to Minnesota to my God Son’s wedding. See you on Thursday. :) Mike

.

*I opened the rusted iron gateway
bound in chain and wire, to find a landing
caked in muddied footprints, scattered about like roaches
Magpie shadows course the rain soaked streets
and puddle patterns reflect temptation as light flickers
from second floor moan filled parlors, painted nails scratching

Navigating the fog entrenched alley, garbage bins fallen
create a maze of skinned shins and bloodied lips
when I come to an arched opening, only hinges remain
The staircase up is dark, creaking under my weight
I count the holes collected in plaster walls yawning,
prior frustrations showing no mercy

The stench of tar and factory waste wallows,
catching me stumbling through the opening to the roof,
gasping in the ever thinning air
Dark clouds retaliate for earlier lost days
when stale bread pudding was a treat
served to those of less fortunate standing

What life is this to lead anyway, empty pockets
and hand me down promises, watching shadows below
taking chances and knocking up opportunities
Red door, black door, be careful which you choose,
for one color leads to the lower city,
the underground where ***** flows like crazed sewage

The other holds within ****** fantasies
and red lipstick smudges,
but beware when jiggling those tarnished handles
with your best foolish grin,
the cost is what you can't afford to lose

Swine roam the busy square freely,
splurging on last night’s tossed garbage,
grunting approval in an off key symphony
of stringless digestion, slobering regurgitation
beyond the blinded eyes of the others
lost indefinitely within themselves

Street lamps spit hot oil through fractured glass
dripping onto the formal evening wear
and diamond brooches worn by the elite,
making their way to the opera house where marble steps
are lined with evergreen topiaries
losing needles to the addicts of the night

A carriage passes, glazed eyes peer from lace curtains,
hidden hands roam freely the velvet seats and occupants,
as painted wheels follow ruts in the worn cobblestone
Smoke spews from stained brick chimneys and cracking mortar
discoloring the moon and choking stars
with a filth to be reckoned with

I sit on this rooftop alone, looking down,
scarred legs dangling over the edge four flights up,
wondering if anyone would care if I jumped
When startled by a noise behind me, footsteps perhaps
I turn to see the beautiful silhouette of a woman, flowing hair,
hand extended, "I would," she whispers...