Hello
Won't you hear me say
That this is the day
That my pain goes away.
Forever gone
Forever relieved
Of the torture
I received.
No more tears
No more blades
Only the light
From heaven's gate.
Do not mourn
Do not weep
For I'm finally away
From my pain that was so deep.
So I say goodbye
To all my family and friends
Because today
Is my bittersweet end.

-the raindrops remind me of waking up on 4th of July feeling lonely.
-my sheets whisper your name everytime i dare to move. i ache.
-my last text from you was 8.12.13
-You are beautiful. and i am sad. We will never work out.
-sometimes i wear red lipstick to see my psychiatrist. I just want to feel strong.
-i sleep for 14 hours and wake up tired.
-the ghosts in my room tug on my curls. they remind me of You.
-i feel tainted.
-oh god, oh god, oh god.
-whilst i sleep the waves rush over my head. i feel peace.
-there have been bugs in my veins since the last time we slept together.
-i am nothing, i am nothing, i am nothing.
-i have been using clever words so You will think i still have a brain.
-i sit in the bath until it turns grey to remind myself that i am dirt.
-i can not be a self love poem.
-You left me drunk and naked everytime.
-i am the beginning of a long, cold winter.
-i am a snowflake amongst sunflowers and children playing.
-Pain. Pain. Pain.
-the ringing in my ears has gotten louder since You said You missed me.
-i will never be Sylvia Plath.
-these walls scream out my secrets.
-i would like to be naked Polaroids and cocktails
but i am £2.31 white wine and ugly obscenities.
-i am an increase of prozac.
-You always mentioned your hate for winter.
-i will crave you for eternity.
-the earth will tremble like my voice. hands. eyes.
-this rain will last forever.

The truth was
I knew everyone I ever met
Was going to leave
Or ruin me
Somehow
One way or another..

I just wanted to find
One person
That was actually
Worth it.

But sometimes
Hearts are black
And promises are empty.

I just needed someone
That would pull me away
When I tried to jump
Off the cliffs in my head.

I just needed someone
That made the bruises sting
A little less
Than before
And someone who
Wouldn't dare give up
On me so easily.

Someone who
Knew why my blood ran thick
And my tears ran cold

Someone who
Didn't cut up my lungs
When I breathed in their name.

Someone new.
Because we both know.
It was never you.

I wish you cared
First you stopped loving me
Now we're barely even friends
Slowly drifting apart
You will just replace me with someone else
You don't know how much I really care
You never will
I don't think you even care
I try and try but you give me the cold shoulder
One day someone will do this to you
Maybe you'll understand
And you'll see how I feel
Hurt

Is that the lowest moment?
When you don't dare to wear shorts because of the scars that cover your legs.
And then you're sitting there at the dinner table with your family,
And they keep on telling you to eat,
But all you mutter is "I'm not hungry",
When you actually are.
You're starving but your image is worth more than a meal.
You eat a few bites just to shut them up,
And then run to the bathroom to rid yourself of it,
To make sure you can fit into those jeans,
The ones that could stand you losing another 5 pounds.
You get used to the lies of:
"I'm not hungry"
"I ate before I came"
And "oh yeah I'm fine, just tired".
Is that your lowest point,
When the only food you're feeding yourself is lies?