Hello Daisies

Hello Daisies Dec 2019

I lose myself more everyday
I feel less and less
But still pain

Months pass by
Days are gone
All I ask is why

I feel guilty
For I am losing me
But maybe I'm finding something

Someone new
Someone happy
Someone less shrew

I'm becoming emptier
Day by day
But some hope is still in the way

Maybe
Just maybe
I'm growing

Into a person
And not just
A lonely
Sad
Miserable
Shell

This isn't good but I haven't written in so long so I thought I'd try ..

#empty #lost #life #sad #hope

Hello Daisies Nov 2019

New

Lately my face has been blush red
Like a rose

My heart has been calm yet excited
Like a river flowing

I start to cry
I can't decide
If what im feeling is good
Ive never felt like this before

Is it happiness?
It is joy?
I'm so scared
Maybe it's just a another ploy
To hurt me again

I can't describe how I feel
Not truly
Because it's so new
I know it's warm

Just please don't hurt me
Like everyone else has before

Hello Daisies Nov 2019

Speechless

It's weird you know,
I could always write poems
About so many crushes
The words flew so easily
The feeling seemed flawless
Always ending terribly

Yet here I am now
Wanting to write about you
Ready to make so many poems
For you
But I'm absolutely speechless

What have you done
I think I love it

Always the words come easily with every new crush I had. But it never went anywhere ans they hurt my feelings. This idek how it happened nkt usually my type, but I find myself flustered and giddy. But also liked and not made fun of.

This feeling is too new to me, I am speechless but I think ... happy?

#love #cute #crush #romance #happy

Hello Daisies Sep 2019

Empty meanings

I wish I could feel
Something besides
The tearing pain
I'm just a gross stain

I watch them laugh
I watch them love
I watch them believe
I watch them weep

I can't feel anything
I think I'm a fake
My heart is gone
I do not belong

My anxiety has been so high
Everything makes my skin crawl
I want it all to be perfect
I scrub and scrub
It never feels enough

I'll never be enough
Noone talks to me anymore
Everyone has left
I'm not needed I guess
I'm meaningless

I let myself go
I can't handle crying anymore
Lost in tears on the bathroom floor
It's the only place I feel safe
Everywhere else is an empty cave

Nothing brings me joy
Nothing makes me smile
I know I'm truly alone
My head keeps splitting
Why am I not quitting

I lost where this poem was going
It's like my life
It's empty and not really flowing
It bothers me deeply
That I'm ending this
Without any meaning

#sad #depressed #empty #words #lonely

Hello Daisies Sep 2019

Enough

It's hard to hold onto the good
Too difficult to remember the joy
The giggling and laughter
The jokes and memes at 3am

When it's night and I'm alone
All I remember is crying in a bathroom
Everyone leaving as I stop breathing
Wondering around aimlessly
Falling to the ground shamefully

Ever night I sat there
Crying harder then before
As I looked at that hotel door
Waiting for my savior
I prayed and I wished
My insides were in a twist

I thought maybe
If I sat in a random hallway
More drunk then I can explain
Maybe someone would come
Looking for me worried
Hugging me to safety in a hurry

There I sat
Staring at the vending machines
Crying and breaking
Hours ticking away
No one ever came

Picking myself back up
To end another lonely day
An ounce of love is what I crave
Maybe some attention if I feel brave

I'm so insecure everyday
I wouldn't know what to do
If it ever came my way
Yet I always try
But my best isn't enough

It's never enough

Hello Daisies Sep 2019

My turn doesn't exist

I'm getting tired
Tired of writing about the small things
That fade away before the end of the day
Every touch
Every smell
Every blush

Gone before I get to grasp

When will it ever be my turn
To fall in love
When will you ever
Look at me and see someone
Who's enough

#alone #sad #hurt #depression #love