Barely eating
Won't admit to the hunger I feel
Tell you I already ate
That I'll buy some food later

Don't know what it is
Why it is
I'm not overweight
Don't hate being so skinny

Yet still I won't eat
My stomach so foreign to the concept
For although it's not my weight
I'm still delighted by the flatness of my skin
The fall of weight on those scales

I don't know the truth anymore
Can't make sense of the mess I'm in
Don't know if secrets are good or bad

I'm scared
You don't suspect a thing
Making it so easy to waste away

I feel sick at the smell of food
And I just want to run
Forwards, backwards, I can't tell

Barely eating
I never understood the real me
Never thought I could despise what my stomach so desperately needs

I want to die
At times like this
It's all too much
Make it go away

How can I survive?
Make it through
Don't care if I'm weak
All I feel is blue

Say it'll get better
Just gotta be brave
But liars burn
And I don't care to stay

I want to die
From moments like this
Moments that hurt me
Get under my skin

Can't you tell?
I'm nothing more than a broken girl
I've got layers
Walls and cages to protect me
But when you look too closely
Past all the lies and deceit
It's blood and pain
A little girl huddled in shame
How can you miss it?
Be so blind?
I'm tired of lying, hiding it inside
Yet still I fool you
Don't even bat an eye
I'm not the master of mystery you paint me as
Why can't you see the truth?
I don't know how this happens
Me breaking without a sound
No one cares to notice
They let me hit the ground
If only you looked more closely
Into my eyes you'd see
Today I may be smiling
But broken I'll always be

So I'm drowning and suffocating
And may not make it through
But I paint a smile for the world
You tell me to see the happiness
It's all okay
You tell me there's gotta be something positive
To make of it all
That's no lie, I can tell it's true
Trouble is, my mind doesn't care
Try what I do
But my mind ain't one to smile
Or yield with ease
So I know I'll be okay
Somehow see life through
But for now I'm simply smiling
Because no one loves an unhappy girl

What do you do
When you've fallen in love
What do you do
When it becomes a game of cat and mouse
What do you do
When it's not black and white

What do you do
When love is a daily fight

'Cause I've fallen again
Thought I could get over you
But instead I burrowed deeper
Now I'm under your spell

But what use is it all
The feelings I feel
When at night I'm still crying
And wondering how we got here

Here to the balance
About to be tipped
Trying to survive
Even though we're about to explode

I see it in your eyes
Because we're both resisting
Fighting because how could this possibly work
Yet our resolves are weak
As you cradle me to your chest

What do I do
When I've fallen in love
What do I do
When it becomes a game of cat and mouse

What do I do

When it's not black and white

What do I do

When love is a daily fight

You say I'm never there for you
I'm distant, aloof
But honey I've never fallen so dangerously
As I have for you
I know your heart is covered in scars
And distance won't heal your wounds
But I never gave up on us
On what we could be
You're jaded and not sure we're worth
The frustration you feel
But I beg you not to say goodbye
When our love is far from it's end
Maybe I'm just scared we see things differently
That I invented what I wanted to see
But I've only felt the burn of heartbreak once before
And I'd sell my life away
On the faith that if you leave
I won't be the only one left with painful memories
Wondering how we ******* up what should have been
Forever

Sometimes my heart aches, thinking about those that I got close to.
But they went away, without me reaching out to them about God.
I fail to minster to them , and now I feel ashamed that I fail them.
When I think about all those people whom made a difference in my life.
But I fail to make a difference in their lives while they were here.
So many people that needed Jesus but I fail back then to minster.
So now here I am missing being able to have been their true friend.
For now I try to Love with Agape Love, but I fail back then to.
I just am feeling so blue because I miss being able to minster to them.
The way that I should had, so tonight I pray one more time for others.