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Sabrina Mar 2019
I wish you didn't like me
So I don't hurt you
So you don't have to deal with my outburst
Of running away
From those who care
So I guess I'll sit in silence
And believe it's only an infatuation
So I can control my emotions
Only slightly
Sabrina Mar 2019
You can't possibly think I'll ever trust you
After you had your hand in another girls
Your arms wrapped around another
All while texting me you love me
Sabrina Mar 2019
Why
Why can I never be good enough?
Why can I never be strong enough?
Why can I never look in the mirror,
Think a little clearer
And see beauty in me?
Sabrina Mar 2019
My mind is scattered
My emotions scattered like a broken dinner platter
Numb but full of emotion
Emotional yet emotionless
This loneliness
Is eating me alive
It's as if my depression strives
On only that alone
Like a parasite
Feeding on anything you ingest
It leaves me staring blankly
As the text indicator blinks
And I feel any good emotion shrink
I'm numb
But I'm falling apart
And feel as small and as fragile as a crumb
Sabrina Mar 2019
When she was 7
She believed in a heaven
She believed in a God
When she was 8
She was oh so great
Her destiny was a date
When she was 9
Oh she flew so high
Mother so proud
Thought she would never fall down
When she was 10
She started to lose some things
Tantrums over and over again
Light starting to dull every night
When she was 11
She wanted to go to heaven
There was no light left in her eyes
All she wanted to do was say goodbye
A scream and a cry
A shout but her words were as quiet as a mouse
Lie to the doctors
To get out quickly
Despite her mind being so sickly
As she got older
The boulder on her shoulders
Became a little less heavy
She could bare more
Sometimes she'd still cry
But she'd find a way to make herself alright
Though sometimes it's a little difficult
She's 16
And her mind still isn't clean
But will it ever be?
She went through her own little hell
But the bright bell rang
Her strength sang
Though her heart is scarred up
Trust isn't quite there
She'll make it
Through the mean words that little demon puts inside her mind
Prove them all wrong
Cause mama didn't raise someone who would give up
Mama raised a girl who will always find a way
To keep her head up
Sabrina Mar 2019
I will breathe
I will run
You guys go
Have your fun
I'll stay here
In my own self-pity
Until maybe something could fix me
My mind
Is a hurricane
My soul
It'll never leave
My heart
So many stitches
So many wounds
But it still will beat
I'm stronger than I know
Though I don't really believe it
I've made it this far
Sometimes I don't really know if I could take it
But I go
I go on
Until maybe I find someone
I am strong
And I know it
Maybe my depression will leave me
If I post it
Sabrina Mar 2019
My chest is tight
My hopes were high
Why can I not cry?
This tight feeling won't go away
Words won't come out
To release this tension
To release my feelings
The tears won't fall
It's a constant slow crawl
Just to try and
Open up.
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