Love, oh my love,
you left me defenseless;
no gods above,
no miracle on Christmas.
.
Memories of you
slip through my fingers:
they leave me too;
melancholy lingers.
The protective veil
I weaved from our past
threatens to fail,
flags at half-mast.
Transparent and frail
like a plastic bag;
a soundless wail,
a threadbare rag.
.
My anemic hope,
my castle of denial -
a thinning rope,
dusk to a sundial.
.
And there are days when I surface
- gasp for air and scour for land -
till the waves pull me in the blackness,
back to the despair I understand.
.
And you won't read this one,
this one will stay
at the bottom of an ocean,
out of your way.
.

Fight against time, I try to remember;
it slips away like fragments of a dream;
our every moment - a winter ember -
fades as I silently scream.
.
And sweet oblivion doesn't follow:
it leaves me feeling empty and cold;
Without those memories I am hollow,
need them to warm what's left of my soul.
.
I cling desperately to pieces and bits:
each shared laugh and each kiss,
and then even harder the truth hits:
you're gone and I'm alone in the abyss.
.
I stare at our photo for far too long,
wonder if I could have done more;
I hear you in every love song,
still need you in my very core.
.
I bought a perfume just like yours -
pathetic, I know, but it helps me sleep -
I hold your hoodie like a protective force,
to feel like somehow a piece of you I keep.
.
And I need you to know I want you to live,
to be as happy as you can be;
I wish you the best life can give,
even if it's without me.
.

As the snowy days grow colder,
I'm in the trenches, like a soldier:
a war against my own heart.
.
Shrapnel, bullets, drying blood
surround me in the mud
since we've been apart.
.
My enemy knows no reason,
cares not for negotiation;
moving on for it is treason;
accepts no explanation.
.
And I keep fighting through the pain,
survival instincts wax and wane,
But in my chest I keep a hope.
.
Weak and battered, yet alight,
a single candle in the night -
the only thing that helps me cope.
.
I let the embers of it seethe,
grip it tight and grit my teeth,
like a drowning man to a rope.
.
It whispers softly: "he'll return",
that flame doesn't cease to burn,
its heat is my heliotrope.
.

Clovers in the cold autumn air -
Alive for now and unaware
Of winter on its way.
No four-leaved luck
Can keep the muck
Of rainy days at bay.
.
I envy them, their mindless bloom,
The way they know not of their doom,
Of snow beneath which they'll rest.
For I know my approaching frost,
The summer bliss came with a cost,
And soon the crows will lose their nest.
.
It smothers me - the thought
That all efforts were for naught,
And I remain in this alone.
This cursed knowledge in my chest,
Claws at my soul without rest;
Poisoned veins, flesh, and bone.
.
The evening wind gives me chills,
Yet I'm impassive as these hills -
The physical can't hurt me now.
For my heartache is much stronger,
Its freezing cold lasts far longer
Than any weather knows how.
.
I care to deeply - that's my cross -
Then pay dearly for each loss;
My foolish heart cannot quit.
I can only hope to leave a mark
In your memory a tiny spark
Of the fire we once lit.
.

Even when the gray
Overtakes the day,
Even when the cold gives me chills,
The thought of your embrace
Puts a smile on my face,
Fond and soft - fog over hills.
.
You are my warmth in the night,
My antidote to frostbite
When life weighs me down.
With you I feel safe, finally at peace;
I pray for the feeling never to cease:
Royal bliss, no need for a crown.
.
And days will keep flowing,
Like waves that we're rowing,
But we'll pull through the storm.
Whatever life throws our way,
We have our quiet bay,
Just you and I, snuggled up, warm.
.

Just ten days but it feels too long,
being without you's way too wrong,
and I miss you lips latching onto mine.
.
Miss your hands sliding on my skin,
miss the taste of our sweetest sin,
four long days 'til the finish line.
.
Your honeyed voice is what I need,
feel your strength as you take the lead;
gotta melt again in your arms.
.
I feel so safe when you're holding me,
the warmth in your eyes - all I see,
getting lost in your charms.
.
The way your laugh lights up the room
will raise me up, out of my tomb,
like the Universe is all ours.
.
Oh my love, my soul, my light,
I can hardly wait for that night,
So I can breathe your scent for hours.
.

This love is a hurricane of fire,
a billion droplets of little things about you,
wrapped in sweetness and desire;
I never thought my dreams would come true.
.
Without warning, I didn't have a clue
How much I'd feel in such a short time,
Swept away in the blazing winds of you,
Yours to the bone as you are mine.
.
Against all odds, it seems like fate
That we should be a perfect match;
If it's a trap, I'll take the bait,
Lock my own cage, secure the latch.
.
Too good to be true, I heard you say -
My own thoughts whispered from your lips,
Embraced in bed as we lay,
Drinking kisses in greedy sips.
.
Don't wake me if it's a dream,
for I have never dreamt this well;
In your eyes, that warm gleam,
Could safely guide me through all hell.
.
It sounds cliché, and it feels so,
A bliss too perfect for real life;
All I know is I can't let you go,
The thought itself feels like a knife.
.
And my chest might burst from this,
a feeling larger than my soul,
My fiery hurricane, in your kiss
I burn up like a chunk of coal.
.